Rodney and Significant Other FF Challenge
by theicemenace
Summary: Nightmares...
1. That's When I'll Stop Loving You

**A/N:** dwparsnip's FanFic challenge is to write a fic about Rodney and a significant other, friendship or romance, based upon the title of a song from your music (WMP playlist, IPod, etc.) No lyrics other than the title and the title _must_ appear in the fic. Does _not_ have to be canon. 500 words or less.

Word count: 500

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**That's When I'll Stop Loving You**

Jennifer watched Rodney walk away with Radek and John after giving her a perfunctory kiss and a quick, "See you later."

It wasn't _fair_. She'd waited so long to find someone to love who loved her back with equal zeal and she'd found that in an arrogant, grumpy astrophysicist. Or thought she had. Almost a year ago, she'd declared her love for him and they'd been happily coupled since then. But lately he'd been distracted and even more absent-minded than usual when it came to arriving on time for dates.

_Maybe he's changed his mind. I'm younger than him and he usually goes for short-haired blondes. That's what I get for letting my hair grow and for letting it go back to its original color. Maybe I should dye it again._

Her unhappy musings ended when a noisy group of Marines passed her table giving her quick "hi, doc" greetings.

**Two Nights Later**

Sitting in her office, Jennifer found it difficult to concentrate on her quarterly reviews. She hadn't seen Rodney since that evening in the Mess Hall. He hadn't called or come by her office. Needing to hear his voice, she recalled the video logs from his most recent illness. Once again, she listened to him tell her he'd loved her for a while and wanted her to know, just in case.

A knock on her door startled her and she hit pause automatically. It was Rodney and he was smiling…sort of.

"Um, Jennifer, can we…talk?"

_Uh-oh! Here it comes. He's gonna break up with me!_

Pasting on a smile, she stood and joined him at the door. He walked alongside her to the transporter, they got out on a high level and she was guided to one of the balconies. When they arrived, she found dinner waiting for them. Soft music, candles, the works. He'd obviously gone all out and she began to cry.

"D-did I do something wrong?" he stammered. "Today's the one-year anniversary of the day you told me you loved me. The single _best_ day of my entire life and I thought…"

Shaking her head, she took his hands in hers. "You've been so distant lately I thought you were breaking up with me."

Now his eyes went very wide. "Oh, crap!" Taking her hand, Rodney led her through the halls of Atlantis, in and out of a transporter, and into what she knew to be the Stellar Cartography room. He activated the display zeroing in on one particular area. "This galaxy is billions upon _billions_ of years old."

"Why are you showing it to me?"

"Look, if I'd fallen in love with you at the time it had formed, I would _still_ love you." He pointed. "When _that _galaxy dies, _that_ is when I'll stop loving you, and probably not even then."

Jennifer couldn't say a word. She just stepped into the circle of his arms as he produced a ring with a single diamond in the center, her tears coming again when he whispered, "Marry me?"

_**Fini**_

**A/N:** The song "That's When I'll Stop Loving You" is the tenth track on the _No Strings Attached_ CD by 'N Sync, released March 21, 2000. Couldn't find the creator(s).


	2. How Can You Mend a Broken Heart

**A/N:** This is the second submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and a friend or SO.

Word count: 496

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**How Can You Mend a Broken Heart**

Katie Brown watched Rodney walk out of the Botany lab, calling on all her will power not to cry. She loved him, thought he loved her as well. He _had_ been about to propose. At least until the lockdown had occurred. Because of it he told her he needed time to work on some of his personal issues.

Yes, she knew he had no idea that his little speech about needing time for himself was a break-up. But she also knew that there was no way she could marry him now. If he let something like the quarantine split them up then what would happen if something less drastic came along? Would he need a break from her even after they were married? She refused to hang around to find out.

Going to her workstation, she accessed her email account, typed energetically for five minutes, gave it a quick read-through for typos that wouldn't be caught by the spellcheck and sent it to Dr. Weir and her department head. That done, she made a mental inventory of the plants she wanted to take with her on her return to Earth then went to her quarters to pack.

**A Couple of Weeks After the Genii Mine**

Aside from how much parts of his body still hurt and how much he'd enjoyed the drink he'd had with Jennifer after they'd been trapped in the Genii mining facility, Rodney's only other thought was that this was the first time he'd honestly and truly had his heart broken. He'd actually thought that once he'd solved the issues that had caused him to put the proposal on hold that he and Katie would go back to the way they'd been before.

He had been happy with Katie, he was sure of it. At least as happy as he thought he deserved to be. More so than he'd been in years. But it wasn't to be.

_How can you mend a broken heart? _

He had no idea, but work had always been his refuge and he had plenty of that to keep his mind from dwelling on how lonely he was, had been, well since he and Jeannie had that falling out. It wasn't as bad now that they'd reconciled. But he needed someone he could see and touch every day that felt the same joy at seeing him that seeing her would do for him. The chances of that happening anytime soon came in at less than zero.

A beep from his laptop alerted him that he'd gotten an email. He knew it was from Sam because they'd been communicating constantly while working on the Midway project. Done wallowing in self-pity for the time being, he opened the email.

He'd once harbored the hope that he and Sam would one day be able to get past their competitiveness and find some common ground that would lead to a more intimate relationship. But that too went the way of his relationship with Katie.

With a sigh, he went to work.

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart" is an adult contemporary ballad released by the Bee Gees in 1971. The song had been written by Barry and Robin Gibb in August 1970, when the Gibb brothers had reconvened following a period of break-up and alienation. They said that they originally offered it to Andy Williams, but ultimately the Bee Gees recorded it themselves and included it on their 1971 album, _Trafalgar_.


	3. A Hundred Million Miracles

**A/N:** This is the third submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another. It's also a little shorter than I usually write.

Word count: 295

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**A Hundred Million Miracles**

As she rocked, Jennifer hummed a song from long ago, one she'd heard at her mother's knee. It was mom's favorite and so it became her only child's favorite as well. A sound in the outer area of the quarters she shared with her husband told her he was home. Muffled thumps signaled that he'd tossed his computers on the desk and his jacket over a chair. Moments later, he appeared at her side, kissed her temple and ran a finger down the cheek of the small bundle nestled in her arms wrapped in an Athosian blanket, a gift from the boy's Aunt Teyla and her family.

"How is he today?"

"Same as every day since he was born and the same as every time you called _all_ _day_ since you left for the lab this morning. Perfect."

Rodney crouched next to the chair. "Just like his mother. Let me take him for a while so you can rest." He took the baby boy in his arms and sat in the rocking chair, the wood warm from her body telling him that she'd been sitting there just rocking their son for quite a while. "Mmm. Our little miracle."

"Yeah. A hundred million miracles are happening in this great big universe every day. I'm glad one of them was ours."

"Me too."

Jennifer kissed his lips letting her hand trail across his shoulders as she left the nursery bound for the bathroom and a bubble bath. Sinking her tired naked body into the water, she sang the last lines of the song she'd been humming when Rodney came in. With no other sounds save the slight hum of the environmental system, she could hear Rodney singing the song she'd taught him to their son and smiled.

_**Fini**_

**A/N:** "A Hundred Million Miracles" is a song written by composer Richard Rodgers and lyricist/librettist Oscar Hammerstein II and was sung by the character Mei Li (portrayed by Miyoshi Umeki) in the film version of the play _Flower Drum Song._ The film and stage play were based on the 1957 novel of the same name by the Chinese American author C. Y. Lee.


	4. Help!

**A/N:** This is the fourth submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another.

Word count: 500

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**He****lp!**

Stumbling through the halls of Atlantis, Rodney kept one hand out to the side to keep himself from falling. He itched all over, his pulse was rapid and his skin flushed. He was going into anaphylactic shock. In his free hand he held an empty EpiPen. It had been his last one used several weeks ago when he'd been stung by a bee-like insect. It hadn't stung him while offworld but had hidden in his clothes until he'd gotten home. Jennifer had been with him or he'd have died an ignoble death. Like Marilyn, instead of talking about his accomplishments, all they would say about him was that he was found naked on the bathroom floor.

But Jennifer hadn't been there to intervene this time. She was offworld herself on a medical mercy mission and would be gone at least another three days. He'd tried to call Medical but had lost his headset. Somehow he had to make it to the Infirmary or this would be the end of the life and times of Meredith Rodney McKay.

_I can't __die__! Jennifer and I are getting married and having kids. And I haven't even won a Nobel Prize yet._

He fell against the transporter panel managing to hit the correct place on the screen to take him to the Infirmary level. Making it as far as the entrance, his strength finally gave out and he fell to the floor taking with him a table filled with medical instruments that had no meaning for him.

Suddenly, there above him stood an angel in a blue uniform, her blonde hair curling around her face and just touching her shoulders.

"Help…" he was just able to push the word past the swelling in his throat.

Her hazel eyes quickly assessed the situation then she was gone. After a moment that seemed to last forever, Rodney felt a sharp pain in his right thigh and immediately his breathing became easier. As his consciousness faded, he felt himself being lifted into the air and laid on a soft surface.

An unknown amount of time later, Rodney awoke to find Jennifer asleep beside him, her head on the bed near his hip and her left hand holding his right. Not wanting to wake her, he touched the call button and a moment later, Amanda Cole appeared with a smile and a glass of cold water. He silently thanked her and she went to order him a tray.

After Amanda had brought him the tray, one by one his friends came in to check on him. Satisfied that he would be alright, they left him alone to finish his meal. Eating was awkward as Jennifer refused to let go of his hand and he wouldn't let anyone wake her.

He knew that Amanda would be close by keeping an eye on him and not just because she was a doctor. She was also his friend and he thought yet again about how lucky he was to have friends.

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "Help!" is a song by The Beatles that served as the title song for both the 1965 film and its soundtrack album. It was also released as a single, and was number one for three weeks in both the United States and the United Kingdom.

"Help!" was written primarily by John Lennon, but credited (as were all Beatles songs written by either person) to Lennon/McCartney. The title was "out of desperation." In 2004, "Help!" was ranked number 29 on _Rolling Stone_'s list of "The 500 Greatest Songs of All Time."


	5. One Toke Over The Line

**A/N:** This is my next submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another.

Word count: 482

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**One Toke**** Over The Line**

"I tell ya, sci-_hic_-ence and 'search is the most necessariest depart-_belch_-department on Atlantissss."

Rodney was talking to John, Ronon, Teyla, Lorne, and Carson and they were all a little drunk. Except for Lorne who'd been chosen as the designated "driver" while at they attended the Athosian Festival of Selene. They drank Athosian wine and John had played guitar.

"Isn't," John insisted. "Without the milit'ry to pr'tect all you geeks and nnnnerds, you'da been dead _long_ time ago." The military commander's words were slightly slurred.

Carson joined in the discussion. "Yer _both_ wrong. Medical puts ya back together after the Wraith take ya apart so we're…" he thumped his chest and fell over to the side. Lorne helped him sit up again, whispering a prayer of thanks that they were all sitting on the ground around the dying fire. "…the most improt-uh…import'nt." The Scot gave him a loopy grin and patted him on the arm.

Teyla didn't say much. Though she still retained her poise, it was toned down just a little by the slightly glazed look in her eyes.

Ronon was the only one besides Lorne who wasn't drunk. With a nod, the two men began herding their friends into the Jumper. After some intense urging, everyone got to their feet making moving them a little easier. All but John, who couldn't seem to get higher than his hands and knees.

Lorne on one side and Ronon on the other, they lifted John to his feet. "Whoa! _That_ was fun! C'n we go on this F'rris Wheel again?"

"Yes, sir. Next year." They poured him into the seat behind Ronon's shotgun seat. Rodney and Carson were already asleep and snoring.

"Coo'. Say, where ya takin' us? Why ain't I drivin'?"

"Back to Atlantis, sir." Trying not to snicker at his CO, Lorne took the pilot's chair and began the power-up sequence. "You're more than one toke over the line, sir. Wouldn't be a good idea."

"Oh. Well, I s'pose you know best bein' as I'm getting really…really…sleepy-y-y." A moment later he too was asleep.

Once in the air, Lorne let the autopilot take over until they neared Atlantis.

"Earth people get drunk easily." Ronon didn't try to hide his contempt.

Lorne snorted. "I guess compared to you and Teyla, we do. I saw how much of that stuff she put away. One of us would be comatose."

Without answering, Ronon turned to stare out the window. The rest of the trip wasn't made in silence though because the four unconscious in the back were snoring in turns that made them sound like the Pegasus version of a Three Stooges skit.

With a grin, Lorne activated the com. "Lorne to Flight. Please have medical and two squads meet us in the Jumper Bay."

Chuck's response was immediate if puzzled but Lorne didn't bother to explain. All would become clear in just a few minutes.

_**Fini**_

**A/N:** Brewer & Shipley were an American folk rock music duo of the late 1960s through 1970s, consisting of singer-songwriters Mike Brewer and Tom Shipley. They were known for their intricate guitar work, vocal harmonies and socially conscious lyrics. Their greatest success was the song "One Toke Over the Line" from their 1970 album _Tarkio_.

About the song, Michael Brewer made this comment:

"The Vice President of the United States, Spiro Agnew, named us personally as a subversive to American youth, but at exactly the same time Lawrence Welk performed the crazy thing and introduced it as a gospel song. That shows how absurd it really is. Of course, we got more publicity than we could have paid for."


	6. I Wanna Hold Your Hand

**A/N:** This is the sixth submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another.

Word count: 400

~Sandy

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**I Wanna ****Hold Your Hand**

Rodney dosed off again, Jennifer still holding fast to his hand. Eventually her grip relaxed and he removed his hand to roll onto his side facing her. He was asleep within minutes, secure in the fact that the woman he loved was nearby.

~~O~~

When Jennifer awoke Rodney was asleep with his right hand alongside hers but not touching. Instead of taking hold as she wanted to do, she checked his vitals, scanned back to check the recent past and found that everything was normal. Well, normal for Rodney.

Careful not to wake him, she went to Carson who had taken over from Amanda and arranged to take the next couple of days off. Rodney needed to rest after his ordeal and the only way he would do that is if she were there to keep him from working. After stopping in her quarters to shower and change, she went to Rodney's quarters to prepare for his return.

~~O~~

Carson had released Rodney with the admonishment to "rest" to which the physicist responded with his usual "yeah, yeah."

On the way to his quarters he stopped to see Jennifer but she wasn't home. Smiling, he knew where to find her and went there now. Sure enough, she was already asleep in his bed.

He showered and put on his pj's then crawled into bed with the woman he loved, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her close so that she perfectly spooned against the front of his body. Just as he was about to fall asleep, she stirred, one hand slapping the bed until she encountered his larger hand, gripping it tight.

Now that they were both away, Rodney had an idea what they could do to pass the time. However, when he began to kiss up and down her neck, stopping to nibble at that sensitive spot under her left ear, she stopped him.

~~O~~

Yes, Jennifer wanted to make love to Rodney, but not right now. Right now, she just wanted to know that he was alive and well. There would be time for making love and they would, long and sweetly, just as always.

"What's wrong, Jennifer."

"Nothing, honey. I wanna hold your hand and sleep with you tonight."

Giving in, he twined their fingers together, kissed her knuckles and let out a long contented sigh. "As you wish." They both fell asleep with smiles on their faces.

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "I Want to Hold Your Hand" is a song by the English rock band The Beatles. Written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney, and recorded in October 1963, it was the first Beatles record to be made using four-track equipment.

"I Want to Hold Your Hand" was the band's first number-one hit on the _Billboard_ Hot 100 chart, starting the British Invasion of the United States music charts. The song entered the chart on 18 January 1964 at number 45; it later held the number one spot for seven weeks, and ended up charting for 15 weeks. It also held the top spot in the United Kingdom charts. A million copies of the single had already been ordered on its release. "I Want to Hold Your Hand" became the Beatles' best-selling single worldwide.


	7. Love Potion Number Nine

**A/N:** This is my next submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another.

FYI - ladygris just happened to mention that she was doing this same song so be sure to read her version of "Love Potion #9" too.

Word count: 446

~Sandy

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Love Potion Number Nine**

Rodney watched his friend John sitting with the doctor that had saved the physicist's life a couple of weeks ago, Amanda Cole. They looked cozy. Well, as cozy as John would allow in public which wasn't very much. But he was smiling and laughing with her. John gave her a bite from his plate and she did the same for him. He'd never seen John do that with any other woman. _He's got it bad!_

The physicist drifted back to his computer and spent the rest of his meal reading and eating. Mostly he would make sounds of disgust but occasionally he would express surprise by widening his eyes and lifting his eyebrows. His staff had sent him status updates on their projects. Some were good, most were not.

The scraping of a chair caused Rodney to look up just in time to see Amanda drop a quick kiss on John's mouth as she dragged her hand across his chest. A very intimate gesture.

Just as he opened Radek's report, John came to sit in front of him, yanking the tablet from his hands. "Whatcha doing, Rodney?"

"Washing my _car_. What does it _look_ like I'm doing?" When John didn't make a smart remark in return, Rodney glanced up to see his friend with a goofy smile on his face that indicated he wasn't really listening. One that disappeared when he caught Rodney staring.

"What're _you_ looking at?"

"Nothing. You look like you just drank an entire _keg_ of Love Potion Number Nine."

John scowled. "Why? Because I've finally found someone to make me happy?"

"No. It's more that lovesick expression you've been wearing morning, noon and night for weeks."

Over Rodney's shoulder John saw Jennifer enter the Mess Hall and head in their direction. "Hi, doc."

"Hey, John." She leaned down and kissed Rodney before taking the seat next to him.

With a smirk, John snatched the computer out of Rodney's hands turning it so his friend's face was reflected in the monitor's surface. "Looks like you've had a sip or two yourself, McKay." Rodney looked daggers at John before reclaiming his computer.

"What're you talking about?" Jennifer asked, looking from one to the other.

"Not a damn thing. John was just _leaving_. Weren't you?"

Laughing, John slapped Rodney on the back as he left him alone with the woman he loved. Checking the time, he calculated that it would be three hours, twenty-seven minutes and forty-five seconds until he and Amanda would be together again. Letting his face grin again, he headed for his office to finish some paperwork Woolsey had been complaining about. Somehow it didn't seem as tedious as it used to.

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "Love Potion No. 9" is a song written in 1959 by Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller. It was originally performed by The Clovers.

**Story**

The song describes a man seeking help finding love, so he talks to a Gypsy, who determines through palm reading that he needs "love potion number 9." The potion causes him to fall in love with everything he sees, kissing whatever is in front of him, eventually kissing the policeman on the corner who breaks his bottle.

In an alternate version of the ending of the Clover's song, they recorded the alternate lyrics:

"I had so much fun, that I'm going back again,  
>I wonder what happens with Love Potion Number Ten."<p>

That version was used on the soundtrack to "American Graffiti."


	8. Games People Play

**A/N:** This is my next submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another.

I should have mentioned that it was ElisaD263 who inspired "I Wanna Hold Your Hand." Thanks a bunch!

This one was "requested" by ladygris at the time we were engaging in our "Love Potion Number Nine" battle.

Word count: 364

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Games People Play**

The day after getting drunk, Rodney, Carson, John and Teyla were sitting in the Mess Hall at their usual table on the patio. Each had a cup of hot herbal tea and dry toast in front of them, untouched. All were in the same posture, eyes closed and head resting in both hands with elbows on the table. They looked up when two chairs were pulled out and trays were slapped onto the table just before the smell of eggs, sausage and hash browns assaulted their olfactory senses and making their stomachs heave.

Teyla gagged, pushed away from the table and made tracks as fast as she could. She was followed in short order by Rodney. Moments later, John left and Carson, the one with the strongest stomach, immediately after.

Lorne grinned at Ronon who grinned back. "We sure know how to clear a room, don't we?"

~~O~~

Though they took separate routes, John, Rodney, Carson and Teyla all ended up in the Infirmary at the exact same time. Jennifer and Amanda watched their friends and loved ones go directly to beds in the ward and lay down. Trying to hide smirks, the doctors went from one to the other administering hangover remedies and huge amounts of TLC. Finally, Jennifer asked the question they'd hoped she wouldn't.

"Whose idea was it to get drunk?"

Teyla, Rodney and Carson pointed at John who just shrugged. "Ronon challenged us to a game of beer pong, but all we had was Athosian wine."

Shaking her head, Jennifer went to stand at Rodney's bedside, holding his hand. "The games people play. You should've known better than to get into a drinking game with _Ronon_ of all people."

"How about you just let us die in peace?" Rodney asked. He let the head of his bed down, turned out the light, pulled the covers over his head and groaned.

From John's side, Amanda remarked, "Oh, now _what_ would be the fun in that?"

The Colonel muttered, "Oh, _crap_. I'm a dead man." Sliding down in the bed, he pulled the covers over his head too, followed by Teyla and Carson.

Jennifer and Amanda laughed as they went back to work.

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "Games People Play" is a 1980 song by the Alan Parsons Project. It charted at #16 on the U.S. Billboard pop chart. It appears on the album _The Turn of a Friendly Card_ and was sung by Lenny Zakatek.


	9. I'm Gonna Miss Her

**A/N:** This is my next submission of the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title in the story.

Word count: 312

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**I'm Gonna Miss Her**

Rodney sat facing one end of the eighteen foot row boat while Carson faced the other end. Each had a line in the water and all the accessories for a full day of fishing. Creels sat between them, both were empty because this was a catch and release lake.

Tucking the end of his pole under the seat, Rodney took out his sunscreen and began applying the fragrant cream to his face, ears, neck and arms.

"Ach, Rodney. Will ya stop that! The smell is scarin' the fish away."

"My skin is very fair. I have to apply sunscreen every hour on the hour or I'll burn. You're a doctor. You should be encouraging my efforts not maligning them."

Shaking his head, Carson went back to his contemplation of the water. From the shore they could hear the songs of cicadas rising and falling as more joined in and others drop out. His mind went back to the argument he had with Laura just that morning as he was leaving. Now that they were back on Earth, he had more time for his favorite sport, fishing, and went at every opportunity. Something that Laura didn't quite understand. Her idea of relaxing was tap dancing, sparring, building bombs and taking a long hike into the wilderness where bears were plentiful. He sighed.

"What?" Rodney snapped.

"What what?"

"You've been sighing all day. What's up?"

"Laura and I had a fight up this mornin'." The medical doctor reeled in his hook and recast it.

"You did? Why?" Rodney was shocked. He thought they made a great couple.

"She said I've been spendin' too much time fishin' and it if I wasn't back by noon, she'd be gone when I got home." Both men checked the time then the two friends were quiet for about five minutes. Again Carson sighed. "I'm gonna miss her."

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "I'm Gonna Miss Her (The Fishin' Song)" is a song co-written and recorded by American country music artist Brad Paisley. It was released in February 2002 as the third single from his second studio album _Part II_, the song reached the top of the _Billboard_ Hot Country Songs chart (then known as the Hot Country Singles & Tracks chart) that year, becoming the third number-one hit of Paisley's career.


	10. This Fragile Breath

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics. Since this is a triple songfic, I've taken the liberty of using three times the word count, give or take. I'm just sayin'.

It started out to be something to cheer up my friend, ladygris, but, well, it's not. Sorry.

Tissue/Mascara alert!

Word count: 1179

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**This Fragile Breath**

**Thank You For Being a Friend**

**What It Means To Be Loved**

The rocks and dirt eventually stopped falling on them from above but that just made it worse because now they could see that they were trapped underground. Another thing they could see was that one of them was pinned under rocks and debris. The other had been hit on the head…hard. Blood trickled down the side of his head and into the collar of his uniform.

"Sonofa…Not _again!_" Rodney sorted himself out remembering the last time he'd fallen into an underground cavern. That time he'd been with Jennifer and Sam. This time he was with Evan Lorne. Both their teams were no doubt looking for them at this very moment so he tried calling for help. "McKay to Sheppard." He waited a few seconds. "McKay to Ronon. McKay to Teyla. McKay to _anyone!_" Still no answer.

Evan heard rustling around then "Oh, _crap!_"

"Doc?" The military man called. The debris covering him hid a wound on his leg. He could feel blood seeping from it. Not enough for it to have been an artery but enough that if he didn't receive medical care in the next few hours, it could end poorly for him. He was also pretty sure it was broken. From the gash on McKay's head, it might end badly for both of them.

"What? Oh, sorry. My radio was damaged in the fall. Try yours." Rodney took a field bandage from one of his pockets and bandaged the wound on his head.

After several futile attempts at reaching someone, Evan and Rodney settled down to figure out how to get out and back to their people. Unlike when Rodney was in the Genii mine, this was an actual cave. Somehow it had formed with a thin roof and when they'd walked on it, it had collapsed. It would have collapsed eventually but their weight hastened the end.

"Um, how you feeling, Major?"

Evan shrugged casually. "Hmm. Let's see…I'm trapped in a cave, buried under rocks, dirt and who knows what else and the radios don't work so I've been better."

"Oh, right. Do you need me to, you know, try to get you out?"

Staring at Rodney, Evan couldn't decide what to say. This wasn't the same McKay he'd spent hours tracking Lieutenant Ford with. _That_ McKay was selfish, arrogant, condescending and _so_ much more. _This_ McKay seemed genuinely concerned that his companion might be injured. Evan smiled. "Please."

~~O~~

Forty minutes later, Rodney had moved as much of the rubble as possible but it still wasn't enough to allow Evan to free himself. There was a rock that was too large to be moved even with the two of them working together. Evan could still move his toes so it wasn't cutting off his circulation. He tried to work it free but all that did was make the wound hurt like hell and bleed faster.

He finally convinced Rodney to stop when it was apparent that the physicist would hurt himself if he kept going. Reluctantly he'd agreed and was at this moment trying to reconfigure the scanner to send a message to Sheppard and the others. From the muttered oaths, it was _not_ going well.

Dizziness set in and Evan found it hard to stay awake. It was also getting hard to breathe. _Probably got some internal bleeding._ It made him think about one of his sister's favorite songs. "This fragile breath…"

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing, doc. Just thinking about my sister, nephews, mom. You?"

"Jennifer, Jeannie, Kaleb, Madison. Sometimes in that order but not necessarily in that order." Rodney put a hand to his head, sinking down onto the ground where Evan didn't have to twist his neck to see him. "Since we're trapped in here together, you should call me Rodney."

"Sure. And I'm Evan."

"Evan? _Really?_"

"What do you mean '_really'?_" Evan crossed his arms and looked annoyed.

"I don't think I've _ever_ known your first name."

"Oh." Evan didn't feel like talking anymore so he closed his eyes and was just about to doze off when he felt McKay slapping his cheeks. He turned his head but couldn't get away from it.

"Evan? Hey! Wake up!"

His words slurred, Evan responded by pushing Rodney's hand away. "Lemme 'lone, R'dney. Tryin' to sssleep."

"You _can't!_ If _you_ go to sleep, _I_ will too and I'm pretty sure I've got a concussion."

Evan chuckled, wrapping one arm around his chest when it hurt to do so. "Sorry…can't help ya…" The pain in his chest increased making it even harder to breathe. When he closed his eyes this time, Rodney didn't try to stop him. He wondered about that just before the darkness closed in.

~~O~~

Rodney watched Evan's chest rise and fall in shallow breaths. All attempts to wake him had been unsuccessful. Now that Rodney was sitting still, his consciousness threatened to close down. Finally, he could resist no longer and let himself go. In that last second, he thought he heard the voices of his friends calling out his name then…nothing.

**Fourteen**** Months Later**

Rodney cradled his infant son in his arms. Jennifer stayed at his side as they walked through the cemetery to a grave the physicist hadn't been able to make himself visit since the funeral. He felt the body was just a shell and now that the occupant was gone, there was no reason to keep coming to the place where it was buried. They came to a stop in front of a gray marble headstone.

"Go ahead, Rodney," Jennifer urged her husband with a gentle smile.

"Okay." He took a deep breath. "Um, hi, Evan. Sorry I…_we_ haven't been around for a while, but, well, we've been busy with returning to Pegasus and, well, lots of other stuff that you don't want to hear about." Adjusting his son's position, he turned him to face the headstone. "Jennifer and I wanted you to meet someone. This is our son. His name is, uh, Evan John McKay. You know, after you and, well, Sheppard. When he's old enough, we're gonna make sure he knows all about you, what a good man and friend you were…are." The boy was wrapped in a blue blanket that had been given to them by Evan Lorne's mother, Maggie. It had been Evan's as a baby. A fitting tribute to the man he was named after.

Jennifer laid a small bouquet of flowers on the grave of Major Evan Gabriel Lorne and let her hand brush over the words carved into the marble. The year of his birth and the year of his death were followed by "Flying With The Angels."

She stood and tucked her hand into the crook of Rodney's arm. "Thank you for being a friend, Evan."

~~O~~

Though the McKay family couldn't see him, Evan was at their side. As they turned to walk away, he smiled. "Thanks, McKay. I know we didn't always get along, but there's a lot of love in you. I know you'll show him exactly what it means to love _and_ what it means to _be_ loved. Go with God, Rodney."

_**Fini**_

**A/****N:** "This Fragile Breath" was written and performed by Todd Angew, a Contemporary Christian musician and songwriter.

"Thank You for Being a Friend" was written and performed by Andrew Gold, who recorded it for his third album, _All This and Heaven Too_. The single version reached number 25 on the _Billboard_ Hot 100 chart in 1978.

"What It Means To Be Loved" was written and performed by Contemporary Christian music singer/songwriter Mark Schultz.


	11. The Best Things

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics. Sorry. Couldn't keep it under 500.

This is sort of a pre-ship from the story "Not a Hero."

Word count: 587

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing**

Rodney stood near the punch bowl, glass in hand, and watched the couples gyrating on the dance floor. So far, no one had asked him to dance and the ones he'd asked had declined. The all looked at him as if they thought he had two left feet just because he was a genius and socially inept. He was about to leave when he felt someone come to stand next to him. And though he knew who it was, he didn't say anything.

"Why're you just standing here, McKay? Get out there and shake a leg." Instead of her usual khaki green uniform, Sam was in a dress. And not just any dress. She'd obviously gotten it from the Athosians. The material was shiny like satin, in a chocolate brown that enhanced her fair skin and made her blue eyes even bluer.

He waved his empty glass. "Not my kind of music. Too fast." The moment he said it, the song ended, the lights dimmed and a slow romantic song came on.

Sam took Rodney's glass and set it on the table. Taking him by the hand, she led him out onto the floor. He seemed reluctant to touch her so she took hold of his left hand and put her left hand on his shoulder, pulling him close.

To her surprise, once he relaxed, he was actually a pretty good dancer. Her left hand slid around to the back of his shoulder. Exerting a small amount of pressure, she brought them even closer together until their bodies barely touched. The hand that had been on her shoulder then her upper back, dropped down to her waist and, without thinking, he tightened his hold so that their cheeks brushed up against each other.

Sam's hand on Rodney's shoulder moved up to play with the hairs at his nape. He turned his head so she'd stop and felt her smile against his neck telling him she knew it distracted him but in a good way. In retaliation, he turned his head and lightly nipped her bare earlobe with his teeth. Her quick intake of breath was the reaction he was looking for.

The song ended and they took their time separating. When they did, Sam took Rodney's hand, led him through the crowd and out onto the patio. Only one of the moons was in the sky, but they didn't waste their time looking up because they were too busy looking into each other's eyes.

Remembering what happened just before his seizure, Rodney wanted to see if it felt the same or had just been the unexpectedness of Sam kissing him that had thrilled him so. He framed her face with his hands, his thumbs brushing across her cheeks. Neither one spoke as he tilted his head to the side and pressed his lips to hers. Her eyelids drooped closed and she sighed as she leaned into him, her hands gripping the lapels of his jacket.

Pulling back, Rodney searched Sam's face, coming back to her eyes just as she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his shoulder. His arms held her against him.

"Mmm. Irvin Berlin was right." Sam's voice was softer and sweeter than he'd ever heard it before, her warm breath tickling the side of his neck just before he felt her lips touch him there.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. The _best_ things happen while you're dancing." She felt his laugh where their chests were pressed together and snuggled deeper into the feeling.

_**Fini**_

**A/N:** _White Christmas_ is a 1954 Technicolor musical film starring Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye that features the songs of Irving Berlin, including the titular "White Christmas." The film was directed by Michael Curtiz and co-stars Rosemary Clooney and Vera-Ellen.

"The Best Things Happen While You're Dancing" was performed by Danny Kaye and Vera-Ellen.


	12. Why Don't We Just Dance?

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

This is a continuation of a pre-ship from the story "Not a Hero."

Word count: 436

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Why Don't We Just Dance?**

Sam and Rodney held onto each other until he felt her hands slide down his back to his waist. She lifted her head and looked him in the eyes. The blue had darkened telling her what she wanted to know, that he felt everything _she_ was feeling at that exact moment. "Rodney…"

"Before you finish that sentence, question, whatever, let me just say…yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I am very, _very_ attracted to you. Have been since the beginning, to tell the truth." At the admission his cheeks pinked slightly as he moved back though his hands still rested on her waist.

Sam found his admission endearing. She looked down then back up to scan his features stopping on his eyes again. "Yeah. Me too."

His expression changed to one of confusion. "So _why_ have we been fighting all this time?"

A smirk came to her lips, one eyebrow rising. "Foreplay." Rodney thought about it and had to agree. She saw several emotions flit across his face when she flexed her fingers on his waist. "Now that we've established a concurrence of…"

"Let me stop you again, Sam. Please." Taking another step back, he removed his hands from her, forcing her to do the same. "As much as I'd like to take you up on your offer…um, that _was_ an offer, wasn't it?"

Sam smiled and nodded.

The physicist sagged in relief. "Thank God. Oh, uh, what I mean is, that is…" He cleared his throat. "You see, i-i-it's only been a few weeks since, well, Katie…"

"…broke up with you?"

"Yeah. The thing is _I_ thought we were doing _fine_. Then one day she announced she was taking a teaching position at a university in south Florida. She rotated back to Earth not even a week later." He turned away, his hands gripping the railing to keep from taking her in his arms again, and looked up into the sky. "Could we just get to know each other a little better before we take this…" he waved his hand back and forth between them, "…to the next level?"

"Of course." Sam's voice was filled with sympathy remembering when Pete had left her a month before their wedding. She laid her hand on top of his, thumb rubbing along the side of his pinky finger. "So how should we start this getting-to-know-you thing?"

Turning his hand over to take hold of hers, Rodney smiled. "Right now, why don't we just dance?"

"Sounds perfect." She tugged him back into the party, no one seeming to have missed them. "How about I lead this time?"

"If you insist."

"I _do_."

**End**

**A/N:** "Why Don't We Just Dance" is the title of a song written by Jim Beavers, Jonathan Singleton, and Darrell Brown, and recorded by American country artist Josh Turner.


	13. Hallelujah Chorus

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics. Again, I couldn't make it stay within the parameters. So…get over it. ;-)

This is a continuation of a pre-ship from the story "Not a Hero" and you have ladygris to thank/blame for this one though not for the adult content.

**Coffee/food alert!**

Word count: 630

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Hallelujah Chorus**

Sam and Rodney stood on the secluded balcony letting the wind blow through their hair and watching the moons glisten off the water far below. He slipped his arm around her shoulders and drew her close to his side at a loss to explain how she'd become so important to him in just a few short months. They still hadn't taken that next step but he could sense that her patience was nearing an end. Truth be told, so was his.

Normally they were restrained with their public displays of affection, but when he'd returned to Earth for his niece's birthday, Sam had been waiting for him in the Gate Room. Her smile at seeing him had blown his self-control out of the water and he'd kissed her right there in front of O'Neill. And not just a peck on the cheek. He'd swept her into his arms and kissed her long and sweet and she'd responded in kind. At that moment, he almost gave in and whisked her off to some deserted island where they could make love until they were too tired to go on.

But he'd gotten scared. He was afraid if they took that step she'd eventually come to the same conclusion that Katie had, that they didn't belong together after all. He ignored the voice in his head that constantly told him Sam was out of his league and would figure it out when it was too late, after he'd already fallen in love with her. _Oh who are you kidding? It's already too late._

~~O~~

Though she couldn't see his face, Sam knew Rodney was having an internal debate on the pros and cons of moving onto the next level in their relationship. She'd lived in a state of denial for months but now she freely admitted, well inside her own mind at least, that she loved him. So much so, she'd almost called Pete a few days ago to thank him for _not_ marrying her.

At her urging, they went inside and headed for the guest quarters. At her door, she drew Rodney into her arms and kissed him. Eventually, he pulled out of the embrace and took a step back.

"I had a great time tonight. See you in the morning."

Before he could escape to his room, Sam took him by the hand. "Yes, you will but this time it'll be when you wake up next to me."

"Um…"

"No! No more excuses and no more cold showers…for either of us, Rodney." Sam waved a hand over the biosensor, the door sliding open behind her, and pulled him inside. By the time the door closed again, she'd removed his jacket and tossed it away.

"Sam, are you absolutely certain you wanna do this?"

"I'm absolutely certain that if we _don't_, I won't be responsible for my actions going forward."

He smiled, scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed.

**Hours Later**

Sam cuddled into Rodney's chest, her hand over his heart feeling that steady beat and waiting for it to return to something close to normal. The tempo of their breathing had synchronized as they both waited for recovery from their physical exertions.

"Sam? Did you hear that?"

"What was it? An explosion? What?"

"Oh, it was _definitely_ an explosion. The good kind." He snuggled her closer, rubbing the top of her head with his cheek. "The great kind. The most wonderful kind of explosion ever." His hand made a leisurely journey from her shoulder down to her hip, sliding back to pull her even closer. "I heard the _Hallelujah Chorus_."

Sam chuckled, and Rodney did too. With a sigh of pure contentment, he closed his eyes knowing that now and forever their hearts would continue to beat as one.

**End**

**A/N:** The _Hallelujah Chorus_ is part of the oratorio _Messiah_ by Handel, concluding the second of three parts. It is Handel's best-known piece and remains hugely popular.

Handel was a devout Christian and _Messiah_ reflects his faith. The text of the chorus is taken from the King James Bible.

In many parts of the world it is traditional for the audience to stand during the _Hallelujah Chorus_. Legend has it that King George II was so moved by the music that he stood to his feet when he heard it, requiring that his subjects followed suit. There is some doubt over the accuracy of this story.


	14. Hemoglobin Highway

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

In an operation like Atlantis, the Mess Hall would be manned by soldiers. However, for the purpose of this story, it isn't. 'Nuff said.

I'm issuing a coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 500

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Hemoglobin Highway**

"Suction." Jennifer's voice was calm, controlled and dispassionate-sounding as she performed surgery on Rodney. How he'd been injured didn't matter. All that mattered is that his teammates were able to get him back to Atlantis before it was too late. "That's the last of the bleeders. Let's close him up."

~~O~~

Pulling off her surgical gown and shoving it into the incinerator, Jennifer sighed in relief finally letting her emotions to show. At least a little. If she let them all the way out, she'd end up in a sobbing heap on the floor and have to spend the next month being evaluated by the staff shrink.

No. Her best course of action was to wait until she was off duty and in her room. Then she could cry, scream, laugh hysterically, whatever she felt like doing to get it all out. Sometimes sparring with Teyla or Ronon worked wonders but it was late. Her only choices for a workout partner would be Woolsey, Chuck or Ms. Nussbaum, the Mess Hall manager.

John pushed off the wall he'd been holding up as soon as Jennifer appeared. "How is he, doc?"

"He's doing great considering what he's been through." Teyla and Ronon didn't say anything as they moved closer. "Now that his hemoglobin highway is back on course, he's going to be fine. Why don't the three of you get some rest? I'll call you if anything changes."

At first they didn't want to leave their friend but Jennifer can be persuasive and finally convinced them to go.

**Hours Later**

Rodney's vital signs had stabilized and Carson exercised his right as Jennifer's elder and mentor to order her to go get some rest. She'd spent hours sitting at Rodney's bedside while Carson watched from the corner he'd claimed as his office.

He checked Rodney's vitals, adjusted the flow on his IV and pulled a chair up next to the bed. "Ach, Rodney, ya'd do enythin' to get outa going fishing, won't ya? Well, it's _not_ gonna be that easy this time, my friend. Samantha was delighted to reschedule the trip for after you've recovered. With the Ancient medical database to assist, you'll be back to yer old self within three weeks. Then it's just you, me, and the fish on some uninhabited by humans planet. The only rub is it'll have to be catch-and-release because our lovely commander won't allow us to bring enythin' back with us.

"Just so ya know fishin's just an excuse to spend quality time with my best friend that doesn't include Wraith attacks, coronal mass ejections, mutated children's diseases and bombs planted within the city." Carson patted Rodney's hand where it lay on his chest and went back to his office.

When he was gone, Rodney opened his eyes just a slit thinking about what his friend had just said. Going over his schedule for the next month, he mentally penciled in 'fishing with Carson' for exactly one month from today. That done, he drifted back to sleep again.

**End**

**A/N:** The song "Hemoglobin Highway" is performed when Phineas and Ferb are traveling through Candace's body in a miniature submarine in the episode "Journey to the Center of Candace" of _Phineas and Ferb_.


	15. Killer Queen

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics. Again, couldn't make it stay within the parameters, but I'm sure I'll be forgiven when you read it.

BTW - I'm issuing a coffee/food alert for this one. You'll see why. ;-)

Word count: 723

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Killer Queen**

Team Sheppard lounged in the cell in various poses of annoyance, frustration and, in Rodney's case, fear. That fear climbed to the rafters when a Wraith approached.

"You!" He pointed at Rodney. "The queen wishes to see you." The cell door opened but Ronon, Teyla and John didn't move to intervene as several more Wraith appeared with weapons aimed at them.

Rodney stepped out into the hall, his breathing increasing as his fight or flight instincts kicked in. He looked back over his shoulder as his friends came to stand at the web-like door. His expression saying "Oh, crap!"

John's hands reached through the webbing, just missing the sleeve of one of the armed Wraith. "Your queen doesn't want _him_ for dinner. He's tough, stringy and has very little taste. Take me instead."

"Or me." Ronon's deep voice joined John's and a moment later, so did Teyla's.

"_I_ will go in his place."

The Wraith guards ignored them as they escorted Rodney away.

~~O~~

The queen sat on the throne in her chambers, her head held high, haughtiness and superiority oozing out of her as Rodney was pushed the last few feet to stand in front of her. He winced, anticipating the feel of her hand slamming against his chest.

"Leave us!" The guards quickly made their exit. "You are the one called McKay."

"Uh…yeah. But you need to know, I haven't been eating right, lots of burgers and steaks, not to mention donuts and coffee. _Lots_ of coffee a-a-and…"

"Enough!" She stood and walked all the way around him, grinning when he flinched at her touch on his shoulder. "You are _not_ here to be fed upon."

"I-I'm not?"

"No. I have need of…your technological expertise." She resumed her seat, tossing her long bright pink hair over her shoulder.

His bravado suddenly surging, Rodney said, "Listen, Killer Queen, I'm sure _your_ people know much more about your tech than_ I_ do so why don't you…"

She growled to stop his rambling. "The device is of human manufacture so _you_ must repair it."

"Human? What uh…" he stumbled to a stop when she reached behind her and brought out a flat rectangular object with a screen and click wheel on the front. It was white and had a set of earphones to match.

"What is this called?"

Confused now, Rodney was no longer thinking about the danger. "It's an iPod. We use it to listen to music."

"I have heard what you humans call music. You will repair this so that I may listen as well."

The physicist wanted to laugh now, restraining himself with difficulty. "And if I refuse?"

Her eyes narrowed dangerously. "I have observed your interactions with your companions. You are quite fond of them as they are of you."

"Oh, well, they're, you know, my friends and…"

"If you do _not_ assist me, the next time I feed, it will be on the one called Sheppard."

Rodney held a breath and let it out slowly. "_Fine._ But I need my computer."

~~O~~

The queen held the iPod in her left hand, Rodney standing at her side. "I've left the power cable attached to this power conduit so when it needs to be charged, attach it here…" Rodney indicated the bottom edge of the iPod, "It should only take a couple of hours to charge each time." Touching the click wheel, he showed her how to turn it on, pause, skip to the next song, go back, volume, etc.

"How am I to hear the music?"

Moving around in front of her, he took the earphones and inserted one in each ear. "The sound comes out of these. Don't turn it up too loud or you'll damage your hearing." He turned it on, watching her scan through the songs as he'd shown her to do until she found one she liked.

~~O~~

The four humans were being escorted to the hangar bay, Rodney telling them what had transpired in the queen's chambers.

John's features were creased in confusion as were Ronon's and Teyla's. "That's _it?_"

"She let us go, didn't she?"

"And _all_ she wanted you to do was fix her _iPod_?"

Rodney shrugged as if it were no big deal. "Yeah."

John shrugged in return. "Works for me. So what's her favorite group?"

The physicist paused for dramatic effect. "Queen, of course."

**End**

**A/N:** "Killer Queen" is a song by British rock band Queen. Written by pianist and lead singer Freddie Mercury, it featured on their 1974 album _Sheer Heart Attack_, and was Queen's breakthrough hit.


	16. Behind Closed Doors

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

Ladygris expressed a wish to see this particular incident not shown in the story "Not a Hero." So here you go. I don't know that it'll be necessary, but I'm issuing a coffee/food alert just in case. It's also a two-parter.

Word count: 485

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Behind Closed Doors**

Rodney watched the pounding rain shoot his meticulously planned evening with Sam to hell and back. Instead of a romantic picnic on the mainland under the stars, it would be a cozy table for two in his room. Shrugging to himself, he reasoned that as long as the night ended the way he wanted it to, it didn't really matter. When this night was over, he hoped to have good news to send to Jeannie and the man she'd married a few months ago and whose name he couldn't remember.

Checking that all his dirty clothes were put away and the small box was where he'd placed it, he lit the candles just as the chime announced his visitor. Sam came inside and once they were behind closed doors, he took the time to just look at her.

Sam again wore the chocolate brown dress she'd had on the night of the party and he was glad she had. He loved the way it hugged her curves, showing off all of her delightfully womanly assets without being overly obvious about it leading him to take in all of her and not just the "good" parts.

Gathering her into his arms, she put her head on his shoulder and he just held her. He could feel from the tension in her muscles that she was beyond tired and quickly approaching exhaustion. Despite that, he had to feel her lips touching his at least once before he sent her off to bed. What he wanted to ask her could wait until tomorrow.

Her head came off his shoulder and he took the opportunity to kiss her. As always, their kisses began to heat up and soon they were clutching at each other as the passion surged. Before it could get out of hand, Rodney ended the kiss and held her against his chest again. "Tired?"

"Yeah. I know you went to a lot of trouble to set this up, but can we do it tomorrow? I could fall asleep standing up."

Though he tried to hide his disappointment, he knew she saw though him. Always had. "Sure."

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I was just…well, you see I wanted to ask…what I mean is…"

She stopped him by placing two fingers over his mouth then stepped back, out of his embrace. "You know, Rodney, I can't do this anymore."

Those few words scared Rodney more than anything ever had. It sounded like the beginning of every break-up speech he'd ever gotten from a girl. "This what?"

Waving her hand between them, she took a breath. "Me. You. I want us to be _us_ all the time and not just when I'm here or you're on Earth. And even though we'd still be apart much of the time…"

"Sam, what are you saying?"

He jumped a little when she took hold of both hands and smiled. "Let's get married."

**TBC**

**A/N: **"Behind Closed Doors" is a country song written by Kenny O'Dell and first recorded by Charlie Rich for his 1973 album _Behind Closed Doors_. The single became Rich's first number-one hit on the country charts, spent 20 weeks on this chart, and also became a crossover hit on the pop charts. "Behind Closed Doors" earned awards for Song of the Year (for O'Dell) and Single of the Year (for Rich) from both the Country Music Association and the Academy of Country Music, and Rich also received a Grammy Award for Best Male Country Vocal Performance. In 2003, it ranked #9 in CMT's _100 Greatest Songs in Country Music_.


	17. You're the First the Last My Everything

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

Ladygris expressed a wish to see the proposal of a married couple from my story "Not a Hero." So here you go. I don't know that it'll be necessary, but I'm issuing a coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 497

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**You're the First, the Last, My Everything**

Rodney couldn't help stammering. "M-Married?"

Sam's mouth twisted wryly. "Yes, McKay. As in till death do us part."

Huffing loudly, Rodney dropped her hands, taking a step back. "But _I_ was gonna ask _you_ to marry _me_."

A little taken aback by his response, the Air Force Colonel rubbed her nose and crossed her arms. "Really?"

"Really." He reached into his pocket but it was empty as were the others. "Oh, no!"

"What?"

Ignoring her, he moved around the room, opening drawers and checking the bathroom, all the time muttering, "No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no."

"Rodney, what's wrong?"

Going to the table where the now-cold food awaited them, he finally located the ring under a small silver plate cover to the right of his wine glass. He clutched the little velvet box to his chest in relief. "Oh, thank God." Facing Sam again, he took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay. I'm ready to ask now."

"So _ask_ already." He opened the box and stared at the circle of platinum with a single diamond in the center. "What's taking so long, McKay? We're not gettin' any younger."

Rodney held up one finger asking for a moment. "Just organizing my thoughts." Taking her left hand in his, he thought briefly of getting down on one knee but that didn't seem right for her. "Samantha Rene Carter, you're my first, my last, my everything. Marry me, please?"

Her response was immediate. "Yes." The ring fit perfectly as he knew it would. Once on, he kissed the back of her hand then held it to his chest. "When do you wanna do this?"

"You choose."

Again, she made a quick decision. "Saturday."

Rodney had been about to take her in his arms. "Uh, Saturday? As in four days from _today_ Saturday?"

"Yes, _that_ Saturday."

Doing his best not to stammer, he let his hands rest on her upper arms, hers on his waist. "Why so soon?"

An evil grin turned up the corners of her mouth and brought a wicked gleam to her bright blue eyes. "So _you_ don't have a chance to change your mind."

That confession made him laugh and now he did pull her into his arms, her head on his shoulder. "Not gonna happen, Carter. I love you, now and forever."

"Ditto, McKay." Sam tilted her head back, sighing with pleasure when he kissed her. Just as it always did, the passion ignited. Before long their clothes were strewn across the room and they were under the covers on Rodney's specially made mattress, all evidence of fatigue gone.

Sometime later, with his fiancé cuddled against his chest, Rodney lay awake while she slept and marveled that this intelligent, beautiful, strong woman loved him as he loved her. And now they would be together forever.

Sam stirred, her hand sliding up his bare chest to his neck. He pulled her even closer, rubbing the top of her head with his cheek. "Sam?"

"Hmm?"

"How do you feel about kids?"

**End**

**A/N:** "You're the First, the Last, My Everything" is a popular song recorded by Barry White. Written by White, Tony Sepe and Peter Radcliffe and produced by White, "You're the First, The Last, My Everything" was White's fourth top ten hit on the Billboard Hot 100 singles chart, reaching #2; it spent a week at #1 on the Billboard Hot Soul Singles chart.


	18. I Won't Let Go

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

Word count: 368

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**I Won't Let Go**

The lights in the private hospital room were turned down low at the patient's insistence though her hairless head was covered by a beautiful scarf. She also didn't want anyone to see the dark circles under her eyes and prominent bones of her face, neck and shoulders. Her light blue cardigan wrapped around her like a good friend, the beeping and whooshing of the machines hooked up to her lulled her to sleep.

Not long after, Kaleb, Madison, Rodney and Jennifer entered. They didn't wake her, just watched her sleep while Jennifer explained the treatment and Jeannie's prognosis. The treatments were nearly over, finally overcoming the cancer that had invaded her slim body and making all her hair fall out. The good news was they'd caught it early.

"Kaleb?"

Kaleb went to his wife's side, taking her hand. "I'm here, honey, and I won't let go."

Rodney stepped forward. "None of us will no matter what happens."

"Good. Can you turn on the light? I can't see you." The room got brighter as the head of the bed raised and for just a few seconds, Jeannie stared at her family, all wearing baseball caps. "What's going on?"

"We're here to support you in your fight."

"I know, Mer, but why the hats?" They all gathered around the bed and one by one removed their hats to reveal that, in a show of solidarity, they'd all shaved their heads, even Madison. And with that simple gesture, Jeannie felt better than she had in months. "Whose idea was it?"

After sharing a look with his brother-in-law, Rodney raised his hand. "We all agreed because we wanted you to know how much we love you."

Jeannie stretched out her arms and hugged each one. Madison insisted on sitting beside her mother. "This is the best gift you've ever given me, big brother. Thank you."

"The bright side is we don't have to worry about having a bad hair day for a while." Jennifer said it with a smile so her sister-in-law would know she'd been completely on board with it.

"It's a wonderful gift. And I love all of you for doing it."

Rodney squeezed his sister's hand. "Yeah. We know."

**End**

**A/N:** "I Won't Let Go" is the title of a song written by Steve Robson and Jason Sellers, and recorded by the American country music band Rascal Flatts. It is the second single from the band's seventh studio album, _Nothing Like This_, and their twenty-eighth single release overall.


	19. Held

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

I'm breaking the rules for this chapter only regarding the edict of no lyrics and issuing a tissue/mascara alert as well.

Word count: 465 (sans lyrics)

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Held**

Sam walked back and forth snapping her fingers and driving her husband crazy, but he knew better than to stop her so her imitation of a Ping-Pong ball continued. He was just about to suggest they go get something to drink when Carolyn came out of the lab. Rodney stood beside Sam not able to read anything in the doctor's expression. With a nod, she drew them into her office. Holding hands, they sat down facing the desk.

Carolyn folded her hands in front of her obviously considering the best way to say what she had to say. Dropping her eyes, she took a breath. "According to the tests performed on both of you, the odds of Sam conceiving a child much less carrying it to term are very, very small."

Though her expression never changed, Sam's eyes stayed wide and unblinking. "Why?"

Rodney asked another question before thinking. "Is me or is it Sam?" Immediately realizing his mistake, he did an about-face. "No, don't tell me. It doesn't matter." He pulled his wife close with an arm around her shoulders.

"The truth is we don't _know_ why. Not specifically. It appears to be a combination of events the two of you experienced during your offworld travels with the Stargate Program. We just can't point to any one thing and say it's the cause. I'm sorry."

"We know. Thanks, Carolyn."

Standing, Rodney took Sam's hand and led her from the room. He tried to take her to the Mess Hall but she turned in the direction of their quarters instead, her composure staying in place until the door closed. At first it was just one tear welling up and glittering in the overhead light to be followed by another and another until two little streams had formed on her cheeks. She took a shuddering breath and went into Rodney's arms. Though she didn't make a sound, he knew she was heartbroken just as he was.

He didn't remember a time when he'd ever cried for anything or anyone, not even when his parents were killed in a single car accident on an icy road. Jeannie was in her third year of high school and barely thirteen when it happened. It hadn't been easy, being both mother _and_ father to his sister while attending university at the same time. At least he hadn't had to get a job. Life insurance had taken care of that.

But now, the thought that he and his wife would never be able to have a child of their own brought tears to his eyes as well. Leading Sam over to the bed, he removed her boots then his own. When he lay down beside her, she rolled to face him, cuddling into his chest, and they just held each other.

_This is what it means to be held  
>When the sacred is torn from your life<br>And you survive.  
>This is what it means to be loved<br>And to know that the promise was  
>When everything failed<em>_,  
>We'd be held.<em>

**End**

**A/N:** Natalie Grant (born December 21, 1971 in Seattle, Washington) is a singer-songwriter of contemporary Christian music. Her work has gained prominence, including four consecutive Dove Awards for best female artist, and with her signature song, _Held_.


	20. Take My Hand

**A/N:** This is my 20th submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title with no lyrics. Thanks for reading.

Sandy

Word count: 628

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Take My Hand**

The stone wall of the village forced Team Sheppard to walk single file along the edge of a cliff, but the only member who seemed to have a problem with the situation was Rodney.

"Did I mention my fear of heights?" He kept his eyes only on his feet never looking to the left or right because he didn't want to know what awaited him should he happen to fall.

"Many times, Rodney." Teyla reminded him.

"And you can stop now." Ronon added.

"Yeah. Give it a _rest_, McKay." As always, John was the most annoyed.

Finally taking his eyes off the ground, Rodney glared at the back of John's head then tossed another over his shoulder at the Satedan. "Well, you can all just kiss my aaaahhhhh…"

"Rodney!" Teyla watched in horror as her friend fell over the side of the cliff, bumping, tumbling and screaming his way down the embankment.

Now sorry that he'd treated Rodney badly, John unhooked his P-90 tossing it to the ground ready to go over the side after him. A strong hand clamped on his arm preventing him from making a mistake. He tried to shake Ronon's hand off but he was too strong.

"I'll go."

~~O~~

Rodney came to a stop on a narrow ledge about thirty meters below where he'd gone over the side. Groaning, he felt a sharp pain in his left leg just above the ankle. _Definitely broken._ Not long after, the adrenaline started wearing off and all his other aches and pains began making themselves known. He knew without looking that he was a mass of bruises, scrapes, cuts, and abrasions. _Probably a concussion too._

He also began to feel wet along his right leg. Fearing the worst, he touched the area and realized with relief that one of his water bottles had burst soaking his thigh and the ground under him.

A preliminary inventory completed, he reached across his body with his right hand to activate his radio. "McKay to Sheppard." No voices, no static, nothing.

Opening the pocket on his left thigh, he pulled out an intact water bottle. From a pocket on his TAC vest he extracted a flat box. He popped four of the pain pills into his mouth and washed them down.

Letting himself relax as much as possible under the circumstances, he actually began to doze off. That is until dirt and rocks came sliding down from above. "The hell…"

Footsteps stopped just above him. "Rodney?"

"What?" He was becoming disoriented, thinking he was hearing things.

"Take my hand." Ronon's strong hands lifted him up and over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. Not the easiest thing to do, but the only way to rescue his friend.

As soon as Rodney opened his eyes again, he looked over the side of the ledge that had been his saving grace and nearly passed out. The ledge was the lip of a sheer drop straight down for over one hundred meters to large jagged rocks. If he'd gone over, he'd be dead now. He squeezed his eyes shut until he felt numerous hands laying him gently on the ground.

~~O~~

People from the village had come out to assist with the rescue including their doctor. "I must reposition the break before splinting it."

"You know, I was thinking that _more_ pain was just what I needed right now." Rodney's sarcasm was ignored by all. There was movement next to him and John's out of focus features appeared beside him.

"It's gonna hurt, Rodney, so take my hand."

Gratefully, the physicist took hold of his friend's hand, gripping tight in preparation for the pain. "Thanks, John." On his other side, Teyla knelt down as well, taking his larger hand in her small one.

"And mine."

**End**

**A/N:** There are several different songs with the title "Take My Hand" so I invite you to search the web and choose your favorite as the inspiration for this chapter.

Sandy


	21. Popcorn

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics. It's easy not to use lyrics in this fic as the song is an instrumental.

Word count: 485

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Popcorn**

"Everyone knows what to do?" John asked the assembled group, which did _not_ include Teyla, receiving affirmative replies from all. "Great. Dismissed."

Rodney lingered behind the others. "So what're you gettin' her?"

"Not a clue. You?"

Shrugging, the physicist followed John from the room. "I usually get Jeannie a gift card, but there's not exactly a JC Penney or Toys R Us nearby."

They continued to debate what to get Teyla for her birthday until they reached to the Barracks level and went to their separate rooms.

~~O~~

After a long hot bath, the wheels inside Rodney's head finally slowed down enough that he would be able to go to sleep. He groaned as he lay on his special mattress and turned out the light.

The chime sounded, jerking him to full wakefulness and sending him to the door ready to rearrange the molecular structure of whoever dared interrupt the beginnings of what had promised to be a perfect night's sleep. "What the _hell_… Oh, uh, Kanaan."

"I am sorry to have disturbed you, Dr. McKay." The dark-haired man looked apologetic. "But I am in need of advice."

Standing back so Kanaan could enter, Rodney waited for him to complete his perusal of the personal effects scattered around the room, most of which meant nothing to the Athosian. "What sort of advice?"

"It's not so much _advice_ as assistance with ordering a gift for Teyla from Earth."

"I can do that." He powered up his computer and accessed the supply requisition site, hand poised to type. "What would you like to order?"

"She has a great fondness for popcorn. I would like to order that."

Grinning, Rodney opened a new window and typed a web address he knew by heart. Displayed on the screen was every conceivable version of the tasty treat and more. "I recommend the 7-Gallon Ultimate Endurance Survival Snack Kit. It has six popcorn balls, pretzels, tortilla chips and salsa, three kinds of cookies, gourmet jelly beans, chocolate covered raisins _and_ peanuts. The premium popcorn comes in ranch, cheddar cheese, cinnamon and drizzled chocolate. The three-way canister comes with butter, cheese and caramel flavors. It also includes your very own popcorn bowl and you can even add a photo to the label to make it more personal."

Kanaan stared wide-eyed at the vast assortment of snacks available. With a nod, he made his decision. "That will be perfect. Have you a photo of our son?"

"Of course." Rodney attached a photo of Torren walking for the first time to the order form.

"Thank you, Dr. McKay. I am in your debt."

The men shook hands and Rodney was left alone in his room. Rubbing his hands together gleefully, he completed Kanaan's order then tabbed through the selections to find one to get her from himself. That done, he tapped his headset. "McKay to Sheppard. I know what to get Teyla for her birthday."

**End**

**A/N:** "Popcorn" is an early synthpop instrumental, originally composed by Gershon Kingsley in 1969 on his album _Music to Moog By_. The same year this tune was released and recorded at Audio Fidelity Records label in New York City.

In 1972, Hot Butter's rerecording was a huge hit in many countries. That version is by far the most well-known of this tune. "Popcorn" has since been covered by a great number of artists. The tune was very popular in the Soviet Union and was featured in one of the Nu, pogodi! animated series.


	22. Somebody's Watching Me

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

I didn't get permission from dwparsnip, but this is a pre-quel to his chapter five of the challenge.

Word count: 317

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Somebody****'s Watching Me**

Jennifer stepped into the quarters she shared with her husband and stopped. The doors hissed closed behind her making her jump. That creepy feeling of being watched had started again the second she'd stepped inside. "Is someone here?"

There was no answer so she moved to the light control, passing a hand over the sensor and turning on the lights. And not just the ones in the living room. She went through the apartment turning on _all_ the lights, even the ones in the bathroom. But still the feeling persisted.

Checking the time, she saw that it would be a couple of hours before Rodney returned from offworld and she didn't want to stay here alone. Gathering up a book, her pajamas, shampoo, conditioner, shower gel and two towels, she tossed them into a duffle bag and went down to the gym's locker room.

When she was done showering and had dressed for bed, she went to the Mess Hall for a cup of herbal tea, decaffeinated in deference to her condition, and a small dish of Chocolate Volcano ice cream because the baby wanted it. At least that's what she told herself. She opened her book, a sappy romance, and read until Rodney came home.

~~O~~

Rodney poured himself a cup of decaf, grabbed a tub of blue Jell-O and joined his wife. "Why aren't you in bed? Shouldn't you be resting? What about the baby?"

Not looking happy, Jennifer set her book aside. "Yes, I _should_ be in bed, but…I don't know what it is. I always feel like somebody's watching me. And the strange thing is it only happens in our quarters and my office. I know there are video feeds all over Atlantis, but this is…different. Creepy." She shuddered.

Nearly choking on his coffee, Rodney set the cup aside and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "About that… Well, you see it's like this…"

**End**

**A/N:** "Somebody's Watching Me" is the debut single by R&B artist Rockwell, released on the Motown label in 1984. The song's lyrics relate the narrator's paranoid fear of being followed and watched. It featured former Motown artists Michael Jackson on the chorus and Jermaine Jackson on additional backing vocals.

Couldn't find the creator's name. Sowwy.


	23. Lonely Boy

**A/N:** This is a prequel to dwparsnip's _Better Days_ in the Rodney/SO music challenge_._

No coffee/food alert is necessary as this is not a happy fic. It's also over a bit.

Word count: 572

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Lonely Boy**

"When should we tell Meredith?" Elaine McKay asked her husband, one hand rubbing her swollen belly.

Russell McKay looked at his wife over the top of his glasses ignoring for the moment the report regarding testing from the lab. "El, honey, he's _not_ three years old anymore. I wouldn't be surprised if he'd already figured it out."

Elaine perched on the arm of his chair, one arm around his shoulders. "We should still talk to him. Let him know exactly when to expect his little brother or sister. Maybe now he won't be such a lonely boy."

"If there were a problem I'm sure one of his teachers would have mentioned it." Russell stood and took his wife by the hand. At the bottom of the stairs, he bellowed, "Meredith!"

"_What? I am __in__ the middle of_…"

"Now, young man!"

"_Fine! I'll be right there._"

~~O~~

Eight-year old Meredith Rodney McKay walked into his bedroom and flopped on the bed. His parents had just told him he was getting a new sibling in two months confirming what he'd already suspected…knew. It'd been hard to miss that his mother had gained weight the last few months.

It wasn't so much that he objected to having someone else around. It was more that his parents had lied to him…twice. The first time was when he was three. His little sister had left one day and never returned. Mom and Dad told him she went to stay with Grammy Gibson. As she was always interrupting his sleep by crying in the middle of the night, he'd been okay with that.

Then when he turned four and two-thirds he'd overheard them talking about visiting Olivia's and Grammy's graves. He wasn't _stupid_. Graves were where people went when they died. Olivia went to be with Grammy. Olivia and Grammy each had a grave. Ergo Olivia and Grammy were both dead. A plus B equaled C. The math and logic were sound.

After Olivia died, Mom and Dad told him he was the only child they would ever have and he'd believed them because they were his parents. And _that_ was their second lie.

"_The new baby is much younger than you, Meredith, and will need lots and lots of attention. __You'll have to take your things out of the other bedroom and move them back down to the basement. That's going to be the baby's room."_

They spent very little time with him as it was and now another would be coming into the family to take away the small amount he did receive. Pushing off the bed, he went through the bathroom that connected the two bedrooms and began working out how his current experiments would fit into the new configuration of the basement.

_Nearly all of __the equations have to be recalculated using the new data. _

_The speed or velocity of a moving object is the distance traveled divided by the time it takes the object to move that distance. This is also referred to as rate (where velocity, v, is equal to the distance, d, divided by the time, (: c = d/(). _

_In the case of a wave, the velocity, c, is equal to the wavelength, (, divided by the period, t (c = (/()._

_Using this formula, the velocity of a wave that has a wavelength of 10m and a period of 2 seconds: _

_c = (/( _

_c = 10/2 = 5 m/sec _

**End**

**A/N:** "Lonely Boy" is a song written and recorded by Andrew Gold in 1976 for his album _What's Wrong with This Picture?_


	24. A Little More Time on You

**A/N:** This is the second prequel to dwparsnip's "Better Days." And he said I didn't need to ask permission. (Thanks, buddy!)

Sugar/fluff alert. Brushing and flossing is recommended after reading.

Word count: 418

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**A Little More Time o****n You**

Sitting in the waiting room outside the maternity ward with his dad Rodney passed the time by going over the calculations for his latest science project for school in his head. Not that he was worried it wouldn't be good enough-he always got the top grade in his class. It was to help him pass the time while they waited to hear from the doctor if he had a brother or a sister.

Abandoning his seat, Rodney got some change from his dad and went for a walk. Not far, just down the hall to the water fountain and the bathroom. His blood sugar was dropping and the vending area was just across from it. He dropped coins in the slot, pushed the buttons in a specific sequence, slapped the side twice and kicked it once in just the right spot. His three favorite treats fell into the catchall at the bottom and the change was returned. Yeah, he knew it was considered stealing, but couldn't make himself care at the moment.

Returning to the waiting area, Rodney opened the honey almond granola bar and wolfed it down. A few minutes later the doctor came out and told the two McKay men that his mother had just given birth to a girl. Though he tried to appear indifferent to the news, he was secretly pleased that he had another sister though she'd never take the place of the one he'd barely gotten to know before she was gone.

A short time later they were ushered into the room where his mother sat up in bed holding a tiny bundle wrapped in a blanket and wearing a cap. After his dad had held her, Rodney was given the chair next to the bed and the new life was placed in his arms. He remembered holding Olivia a few times but always with one or the other of his parents supervising.

"Her name is Jean Rachel McKay after both grandmothers." His mother's voice was soft and had a choked up quality, like she'd been crying.

Looking into the sleeping face of his new sister, Rodney made a solemn vow.

_I'm gonna spend a little more time on you __than I did our sister and be the best big brother __ever__, Jeannie. We'll go places together and I'll teach you everything I know about, well, everything. It doesn't seem like much now, but you'll see. We'll __always__ be together, inseparable. And it's kinda weird, but I already love you, baby sister._

**End**

**A/N:** "(God Must Have Spent) A Little More Time on You" is the third single released from 'N Sync's self-titled debut album (US Version). While the previous singles were released in Europe, this one was not and subsequently only charted in Australia and the US, reaching numbers 46 and 8 respectively.

Carl Sturken and Evan Rogers are New York-based songwriters and music producers who are business partners and friends.


	25. Mustang Sally

**A/N:** Coffee alert. You know the drill.

Dwparsnip helped. Thanks.

Word count: 607

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Mustang Sally**

The party was already in full swing when Ellery opened the door to admit even more of his and Teyla's friends and family. He greeted each and every one as if he hadn't seen them in years instead of weeks or in some case days. Hugs and handshakes were handed out in equal measure, his bright smile and warmth making all feel welcome.

Harry approached him with a list and the two men had a short whispered conversation after which he sought out his wife who was talking with her old team.

"Teyla, love. Harry needs some things from the store. I…"

"We'll go." John broke in and his teammates agreed, including Teyla.

"I will drive." Teyla put her hand out for the keys but Ellery made no move to give them to her, handing her the list from Harry instead.

"Sorry, my love but someone else will have to do the driving." He tried to keep his expression serious but it was a losing battle. "Mustang Sally here had her license suspended for too many speeding tickets." He handed the keys to Rodney.

"_Me?_ Sheppard's usually the pilot on team ops."

"This isn't your usual op, Rodney. And you'll see why when you get to the garage." Ellery said the last word with the British pronunciation, the accent on the first syllable and rhyming with hair.

Rodney quickly scanned the crowd looking for his wife, spotting Jennifer talking with a group on the patio all showing off photos of their kids. He rushed to her side, had a few quick words with her then hurried out the front door with John, Ronon and Teyla in his wake. Going around to the garage, he saw the last door open and inside was a classic 1963 Ford Mustang Prototype in the shiniest black he'd ever seen.

Speechless, all Rodney could do was walk around and around, stopping now and then to caress a fender here and a strip of chrome there after which he used the tail of his shirt to wipe away the fingerprints. He even touched the cozy wing, something that hadn't been included on automobiles in many years. When he could finally speak, all he could say was a reverent "Wow."

Teyla touched him on the arm. "I agree. It was a gift from Ellery on our anniversary. When behind the wheel, I forget that I'm in a city with rules about how fast one can drive and have been suitably chastised for my forgetfulness both by the police department _and_ my husband."

Rodney opened the driver's door while Teyla got into the passenger seat. "I won't do that." John and Ronon stood there staring. "Sorry. No room." He started the engine, shifted into gear and pulled carefully out of the garage and onto the street coming to the stop sign on the corner. "Which way?" Teyla pointed straight ahead, he nodded and peeled away amidst burning rubber and roaring engine.

A few minutes later, Teyla was trying not to laugh when a motorcycle cop walked up to the driver's window. "Do you know why I stopped you, sir?"

"Um, I was going a little too fast?"

The officer took off his aviator sunglasses, hooking them in his breast pocket, adopting a patient attitude. "Sir, I clocked you going eighty-two in a thirty zone. That's more than a little. License, registration and insurance information, please." He wrote out the ticket, had Rodney sign and handed him his copy.

Rodney pulled away from the curb at a more respectable speed trying to ignore the laughter coming from the passenger seat. "Do _not_ call me Mustang Sally."

**End**

**A/N:** "Mustang Sally" is an R&B/straight-forward blues song written and first recorded by Sir Mack Rice in 1965. It gained greater popularity when it was covered by Wilson Pickett on a single the following year. Pickett's version was also included on his 1967 album _The Wicked Pickett_.

According to music historian Tom Shannon, the song started as a joke when Della Reese wanted a new Ford Mustang. Rice called the early version "Mustang Mama," but changed the title after Aretha Franklin suggested "Mustang Sally."

Rice's version made it to #15 on the US R&B charts in 1965. Pickett's version climbed to #6 R&B and #23 Pop in 1966.


	26. No More Walks in the Wood

**A/N:** Coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 568

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**No More Walks ****in the Wood**

Jennifer looked over at Rodney who was in turn avoiding her gaze. Not because they'd been fighting or he'd done something he shouldn't have. But because he knew what she would be thinking and didn't want to see it in her eyes. They were hiding behind a pile of rocks and it wasn't part of a game. At least not to them.

"It's _not_ my fault."

She waited and sure enough, he finally looked at her. "Of course it's not, Rodney. It's _nobody's _fault. How could you have known a herd of wild animals would decide to make the area around the Stargate their new hunting grounds? And how could you have known that they were nocturnal hunters?"

He shrugged and she put her hand on his shoulder feeling it relax ever so slightly. "Try calling again."

"McKay to Sheppard…McKay to Teyla…McKay to Ronon." His voice got angrier with each non-response. Taking out his scanner, he turned in a circle without standing. "There's something in this rock face that blocks our radio signals. We'll just have to hope they find us before those creatures do."

"Gee, thanks, Rodney. I'd almost forgotten about them." Her sarcasm wasn't lost on Rodney.

Putting away the scanner, he switched his P-90 over to night vision, looked through the sight, turning side to side. "I don't see anything." Still keeping the weapon in one hand, he used the other to take a bottle of water out of his pants pocket and hand it to Jennifer. She drank half of it down then passed it back. He tried to refuse it but she insisted. The empty shoved back in the pocket and he went back to watching the wood.

The loud snapping of a twig made them both jump. Jennifer wanted so much to be in the security of his arms at that moment, knowing she couldn't because he was their only defense.

They heard footsteps now, coming closer and stopping just a few meters in front of their hideout. Rodney counted to three and popped up ready to shoot whatever it was but took his finger from the trigger when he realized it was Ronon. "About time! We've been hiding here for…"

"…fifteen minutes," Sheppard finished for him.

"Oh. Is that all? Seems longer."

"Yeah. A _lot_ longer." Naturally Jennifer backed up the man she loved, but only because he was right. She got to her feet and Rodney followed but before they could join their friends, the running footsteps of a large four-legged animal came toward them.

Almost casually, Ronon drew his blaster and shot the beast through the center of its forehead. It fell to the ground not two meters away, gasping for breath. One last exhale and it stopped breathing forever.

Sheppard and Teyla stood over it, the Athosian wrinkling her nose at the musky, wet animal smell.

"I wonder how they taste medium rare with barbeque sauce?" John asked. He was chastised by Teyla, a shrug and a grin his only response. "This camping trip is over. Let's head back to the 'gate. Ronon and Teyla on our six. I'm on point. Rodney, doc, you're in the middle."

They'd walked in silence the entire return trip to the Stargate. While Sheppard dialed, Jennifer took Rodney's hand. "Rodney, honey, I love you. But no more walks in the wood." He squeezed her hand in agreement as they headed for home.

**End**

**A/N:** "No More Walks in the Wood," written by John Hollander (lyrics), Don Henley and S. Smith (music) with lead vocals by Glen Frey, Don Henley, T. B. Schmit, and J. Walsh.

This song is an adaptation of the poem by John Hollander, "No More Walks in the Wood," about lost love, nature and innocence. Don Henley found the poem and was struck by how it would make a brilliant _a capella_ piece. It's the first track on the first disc of their _Long Road Out of Eden_ CD (2007.)


	27. I am Woman I Will Survive

Word count: 731

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**I am Woman**

**I Will Survive**

Jennifer felt like a fool.

Sitting under a tree munching on half a power bar, she glanced at her surroundings. They looked the same now as they did when she'd first arrived here, wherever _here_ was. She couldn't even be certain she was still on the same planet. Trees, bushes, grass, dirt, some bugs and a few small animals darting in and out. That's all she could see. No humans lived here or if they did, they never ventured into this part of the woods.

_What was I thinking wanting to go__ on a mission with Rodney and his team? Every time I go on offworld it turns out bad. Even Earth. They should call me Jennifer the Jinx._

If she could only get out into the open where she could see the sky instead of just the bits and pieces that showed when the leaves fluttered in the breeze, she might be able to determine in what direction to find the Stargate, _if_ she was still on the same planet. And if not, she'd have to figure out if this planet even had a Stargate.

_Oh, yeah. I wanted to spend more time with the man I love._ She laughed humorlessly at herself. _A fat lot of good it did for me to come. I'm here and he's…wherever. John still hasn't learned his lesson, but I thought I had after the body switch. When Rodney says "don't touch anything" he means not even by accident. And that's what this was, an accidental transport to an unknown freakin' location and all I did was rest my hand on the edge of a console when I bent down to pick up my backpack. And suddenly…here I am! Nowheresville on Planet Unknown! _

She shoved the other half of her power bar in the side pocket of her backpack and the empty water bottle in another, swung it around behind her and shrugged it onto her shoulders settling the weight evenly. With a deep breath, she chose a direction and headed out. "I am a Fireside Girl. I am woman. I can _do_ this and I _will_ survive."

~~O~~

John crouched beside the figure curled up in a ball inside the small cave. Jennifer was asleep, her head on her backpack and using her jacket as a blanket. He clicked the radio once keeping his voice low. "Sheppard to McKay. I'm in a cave a half klick southeast of your location."

"_And that concerns me __why__?_"

Stopping his snort of frustration, he explained, "It concerns you because I'm in here with your wife."

"_Why didn't you just __say__ so? I'll be right there._"

~~O~~

Rodney entered the cave not even noticing that John had slipped out leaving him alone with Jennifer. He touched her gently on the cheek and in her sleep she smiled, turning into the touch. "Mmm…"

"Jennifer."

"Rodney?" Startled, Jennifer's eyes flew open just before she threw herself into her husband's arms and they squeezed each other tight. Over his shoulder she could see the sky darkening with the setting of the sun. "How long was I gone?"

"Six hours, give or take." His voice was muffled by her hair because she still had her arms around his neck.

"How did you find me?"

The physicist was finally able to loosen his wife's hold on him and help her to her feet. "Well, first I had to figure out how the device worked. Then I had to…"

"Never mind. You're here and we're together. That's all that counts." He helped her into her jacket, picked up the backpack, took her hand and they left the cave together. Ronon, Teyla and John were standing a discrete distance away. Without being asked, Ronon took the backpack from his friend and stayed on their six all the way to the Stargate.

~~O~~

They arrived at the Stargate much quicker than Jennifer anticipated. She stared back in the direction they'd just come from, her forehead creased in confusion. "How far is it from the cave to the Stargate?"

John supplied the answer. "Just under a klick. Why?"

Jennifer growled and the hand not holding Rodney's balled into a fist. "Dammit! I must have walked around in circles. So much for my training as a Fireside Girl."

Rodney let go of her hand and draped that arm around her shoulders. "You're here now."

"Yes, I am. Let's go home."

**End**

**A/N:** "I Am Woman" is a song co-written by Helen Reddy and singer/songwriter/guitarist Ray Burton and performed by Reddy. Released in its most well-known version in 1970, the song became an enduring anthem for the women's liberation movement.

"I Will Survive" is a song first performed by American singer Gloria Gaynor, released in October 1978. It was written by Freddie Perren and Dino Fekaris.

The song's lyrics describe the narrator's discovery of personal strength following an initially devastating breakup. It is one of the most famous disco songs of all time and remains Gaynor's biggest hit.


	28. 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover

**A/N:**There's an alert for this one. Actually, more than one. The first is a coffee alert. The second is a NSF alert. (Like the coffee alert, the NSF alert is my personal creation. It means "this is _not_ a slash fic."

That being said, this one features Rodney and Radek.

I must also thank ladygris and her spouse, Lithane for their contributions to this chapter.

Word count: 633

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**50 Ways to Leave Your Lover**

"Rodney, I…need advice."

Without looking up from the piece of equipment he was repairing, Rodney said, "Lose the glasses, get a new haircut, wardrobe and personality, and for _God's sake_, get a new _hobby_. Women do _not_ want to hear about your smelly pigeons no matter how many races they've won." He looked up when a sound of frustration came from his second-in-command. "What?"

"It is not _finding_ a woman for which I need advice."

"It's not?" Rodney seemed quite surprised by that.

"No. I need to know how to…urge one to leave and have it seem to be _her_ idea." Radek had been working at his computer but when Rodney looked up, he was sitting with his arms crossed awaiting an answer.

Rolling his eyes, Rodney went back to work. "Why ask _me?_ Go talk to Sheppard."

"I have already done so."

"And?"

"He said, 'there must be fifty ways to leave your lover. Just ask Rodney. He's been left so many times he's lost count.' What do you _do_ to cause women to reject you so consistently?"

With a loud huff, Rodney kept his face averted. "There hasn't been _that_ many."

Pushing off his stool, Radek went to stand in front of his department head, hands on the edge of the table. "Rodney, I have personally seen you…I believe the term is 'shot down' on at least…"

"_Why_ are you even asking this question? You haven't been on a date since…"

"Last week," Radek supplied smugly.

"Who…? Never mind. I do _not_ want to know."

The smug curl of the Czech's lips turned into a full on smirk. He finally had Rodney's full attention. "No. You do not."

"You _really_ want to get rid of her?"

"I do."

"Just ignore her."

That obviously hadn't been the answer Radek was expecting because he drew back in surprise. "Really?"

Rodney knew he wasn't going to get any work done until this subject was exhausted so… "Why do you think _I _got _shot down_ all the time?"

Ticking them off on his fingers, Radek began listing the reasons for Rodney's singlehood. "Just off the top of my head, lack of social skills, inability to communicate effectively with those you consider inferior intellectually and morally. You are petty, vindictive, hostile, rude, obnoxious, just plain unpleasant to be around at times, will argue your point until the other person gives in just to shut you up…"

"STOP! I have had _more_ than my fair share of dates since coming to Atlantis."

"Taking your _sister_ to lunch does _not_ count as a date."

"Yes, yes. _Very_ amusing." The sarcasm was so thick it could be cut. "I'll have you know…"

Exhaling loudly, Radek cut Rodney off. "Okay. So when _was_ the last one?"

Ducking his head in embarrassment, Rodney suddenly became very interested in a piece of equipment on a shelf. "That's, uh, not important. What _is_ important is that you _get back to_ _work!_" He randomly chose something and carried it to the desk just as Jennifer walked in. Suddenly, the scowl on his face changed to one of delight. The delight dissolved into a smitten expression when she tucked her hand into the bend of his elbow and tip-toed to kiss him on the cheek.

"Ready for lunch, honey?"

"I am." Rodney took Jennifer's hand and led her to the door, not bothering to shut down his computer or put away his tools.

At the door he turned, a sappy grin all over his face as he looked at Jennifer. The love he felt for her was reflected in her eyes as well. "To answer your earlier question, Radek…Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, twice on Saturday, now _and_ tonight."

The couple left Radek shaking his head in bafflement and none the wiser concerning his own predicament.

**End**

**A/N:** "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover" is a 1975 hit song by Paul Simon, from his album _Still Crazy After All These Years_. Backing vocals on the single were performed by Patti Austin, Valerie Simpson and Phoebe Snow.


	29. Knock Three Times

**A/N:** If the Czech in this fic isn't correct, blame Google Translate.

I'm issuing a coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 664

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**K****nock Three Times**

The Jumper Bay was empty for a change when John arrived. Once or twice a week, when he had trouble sleeping, he'd take a quick spin around the solar system. Normally he had to fight past scientists and maintenance personnel stringing cables to and fro and leaving equipment on the floor for the unwary to trip over it. Tonight there was no one except a security detail.

Nodding, he opened the hatch of Jumper Two and slid into the pilot's seat. Hands on the controls, he began the start-up sequence. It whined a few times, coughed and shut down. He tried again with the same results. "Sheppard to Zelenka." There was no response. "Sheppard to Zelenka." Again no response.

John didn't trust just anyone with "his" Jumper so he headed to find Radek. When he arrived at the lab Radek had claimed as his own, the door was locked with a hand-written sign stuck on it. Trouble was, John's Czech was more than a little iffy so he had no idea what it said aside from the word "three."

_T__řikrát zaklepat a čekat, až bude přijat_

"Sheppard to McKay." Still no answer. "McKay, if you _don't_ respond, I'll fill your canteen with lemonade the next time we go offworld."

A few moments later, John heard an oath just before, "_And you'll wake up with the head of a clown in bed with you. What the hell do you __want__, Sheppard? I'm __busy__._" In the background he could hear Keller protesting, the word "Epi-Pen" featuring prominently in her tirade.

With a cheeky grin that he was glad Rodney couldn't see, John leaned against the wall next to the lab door. "I need your translation program to tell me what this sign says."

Another pause. "_You interrupted…me so I could translate a __sign__ for you? Have you totally forgotten how to read __English__?_"

"No. But then this sign's in _Czech_."

"_Fine! Send it to me. And this had better be the __last time__ you disturb me tonight or so help me…_"

John cut him off, scanned the text, sent it off, and slid down to sit on the floor to wait. It didn't take long. With Keller there, the physicist was motivated to hurry. "_It says, 'knock three times and wait to be admitted'._"

"Um, what?"

"_It __says__…_"

"I _heard_ you. But what does it _mean?_"

A sound came from Rodney that was part frustration and part I'm-a-genius-and-you're-an-idiot. "_I can't be certain, but I __think__ it means you have to knock on the door __three times__ and wait for someone to admit you._"

John signed off without responding, got to his feet and lifted his hand. But before he could knock, the door opened, a girlish giggle coming from inside mixed with the deeper tones of Radek's voice speaking so softly he couldn't understand him. "Zelenka?" A second later, the Colonel heard a familiar hiccup causing his eyebrows to crawl up so far his forehead it was almost painful.

Dr. Lindsey Novak squeezed out the barely open door, trying to smooth her tousled brown hair back into place. She gave up, meeting John's eyes once before glancing away. _Hic!_ "Colonel Shepp-_hic-_ard."

"Doctor. What uh…"

"I was…_hic_…"

Radek hurried to explain. "Lindsey was assisting me with uh…"

"An experi-_hic-_ment."

"Yes. Um…what can I do for you, Colonel?"

Deciding that he'd had enough entertainment for tonight, John shook his head. "Never mind. Think I'll go to bed early for a change." With one more huge hiccup Lindsey blushed bright red and hurried down the hall, Radek's eyes gazing longingly after her. "Um, Radek. I know it's none of my business…"

"But…"

John lowered his voice and leaned close. "Maybe _you_ should make it an early night, too." He nodded in the direction the _Daedalus'_ engineer had gone, giving Radek a small shove.

The scientist's face lit up as he jogged away. "Lindsey! Wait!"

With a grin, John shook his head and went to the bar for a beer.

**End**

**A/N:** "Knock Three Times" is a popular song credited to Tony Orlando and Dawn. The actual singers were Tony Orlando, Toni Wine, and Linda November, prior to the creation of Dawn with Telma Hopkins and Joyce Vincent Wilson. The composers of this song were L. Russell Brown and Irwin Levine.


	30. She Loves You

**A/N:** Yes, this is a Rodney and significant other story. Just not what you might expect. It was written to cheer up my friend, ladygris, who's had a rough day today.

I'm issuing a coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 728

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**She Loves You**

Rodney walked with a bounce to his step and a sense of anticipation. Jennifer had called to invite him to have coffee with her in her quarters. That had to mean she wanted him and not Ronon, right? He was just about to announce himself when the aforementioned Satedan approached and came to stand next to him.

The two men stared at each other, Ronon impassively and Rodney with dread. "Let's just get it over with." They physicist touched the chime and the door slid open almost immediately.

Jennifer still wore her uniform but without the jacket. "Right on time, guys. Come on in." The smile on her face was the same bland smile all medical personnel wore to keep their patients from panicking when something was very wrong. "Have a seat."

"I'd rather stand, if you don't mind." Rodney crossed his arms stubbornly. If she was giving him the keys to the street he didn't want to get comfortable.

"Me too." Ronon looked more at ease, arms hanging at his sides, dark eyes hooded to hide his emotions.

Taking a deep breath to fortify her, Jennifer let her eyes move from one to the other. "Ronon, Rodney, I called you here to…well, I wanted you to know, uh…" She was having trouble putting her thoughts and feelings into words. "Uh, Ronon. I'll start with you. I'm, uh, sorry but…"

"…you're interested in someone else." Those eyes that saw everything slanted toward Rodney who was practically dancing with delight.

Not able to help the grin that crossed his face, Rodney bounced on his toes and clasped his hands together to keep them from shaking. He took an involuntary step forward stopping when Jennifer put up her hand.

"I'm sorry, Rodney."

"What? Really?" He and Ronon exchanged a confused glance. "If it's not me and it's not you, then who is it?"

The chime dinged again causing Jennifer's eyes to widen in something close to panic. "He's here." Her words were soft, as if she hadn't meant to say them out loud. Checking her hair in the mirror, she tugged the hem of her top into place, rolling her shoulders to loosen up suddenly tight muscles she opened the door.

Major Evan Lorne, in casual wear, awaited permission to enter.

Her voice tremulous, Jennifer gestured. "Please come in."

"Ronon. McKay. What's going on? If it's a surprise party, you should know it's _not_ my birthday."

Trying not to show he was brokenhearted, Rodney refused to look at him. "_No_, Major. Conan and I were just _leaving_. Come _on_." The last was said to Ronon as Rodney led the way to the door, stopping beside Evan. "She loves you. And if you _break_ her heart, I will make your life _miserable_."

"We _both_ will." With that parting shot, Ronon grabbed Rodney by the arm and dragged him out leaving Jennifer and Evan alone.

~~O~~

The door closed again and Jennifer waited for Evan to say something, standing in the middle of her room, hands clasped in front of her. For the first time since she'd know him, he looked scared. Well, so was she. But he also appeared joyful at the same time and that gave her hope.

He kept his distance, not daring to believe it until the words came from her lips. "I uh…is what McKay said true? _Do_ you…love me?"

"I do. Have for a while now." She held her breath, waiting for him to speak again. Suddenly, there he was, right in front of her, smiling the smile that made her heart skip a beat.

"I love you too." Evan touched her cheeks, his fingers feathering across her skin making her shiver as they slipped into her hair, his thumbs resting on her cheekbones. His head tilted to the side as he moved in for a sweet kiss.

When he tried to pull away, she held on, deepening the kiss and wrapping her arms around his neck. Before long, they'd forgotten everyone and everything else existed. At that exact moment, the only thing that mattered was the love they shared.

Evan stopped the kiss but only long enough to lead her to the sofa. He drew her onto his lap, his arms around her waist and hers around his neck again. "You know, I like being in love."

Jennifer snuggled deep into his arms. "Yeah. Me too."

**End**

**A/N:** "She Loves You" is a song written by John Lennon and Paul McCartney based on an idea by McCartney, originally recorded by The Beatles for release as a single in 1963. The single set and surpassed several records in the United Kingdom charts, and set a record in the United States by being one of the five Beatles songs which held the top five positions in the American charts simultaneously. It is The Beatles' best-selling single in the United Kingdom, and was the best-selling single in Britain in 1963.


	31. Happy Together

**A/N:**To dwparsnip…nana nana booboo. Number 31 and the third in my Radek and Rodney loop.

Word count: 357

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Happy Together**

"What the hell is _that_?"

John turned at Rodney's exclamation searching for the source of his ire but only saw Radek sitting with Lindsey Novak. They looked very cozy off in a corner of the bar holding hands. With more than a little condescension John responded, "I don't _know_, Rodney. What does it look like to _you_?"

"It looks like Radek's on a date…with a _woman._"

Peering into the dim lighting, John pretended he didn't already know what was going on. "You know, you're absolutely right. Well, stop staring and come on." Slapping him on the arm, he gestured to the table where Jennifer was sitting with her friend, Amanda Cole. Rodney and Jennifer had been not too subtly trying to set the two of them up. "Dr. Cole. No patients to torture tonight?" He took a seat across from Rodney between the two women.

"And I see they let you out of your _cage_ for the night, Colonel Sheppard." Her hazel eyes glared at him.

"Yeah. When they opened the door to slip in a fresh bowl of water, I bolted." He said it with a little scorn knowing Rodney and Jennifer would be disappointed yet again. But what they didn't know was that he and Amanda had been secretly dating for the last six months. And now and then they had fun at the McKays' expense by pretending not to like each other.

Rodney gave his wife a kiss, glancing over his shoulder at Radek and Lindsey. "Sheppard, you think _she's_ the one he wanted help breaking up with?"

John shrugged. "Does it matter? They're together _now_. Leave 'em alone."

"But…"

"Rodney?" Jennifer interrupted. "We're happy, right?"

"Well, of _course_ we are."

"So Radek has finally found someone and you should be happy for him, not complaining."

"Okay. But I don't want him to come crying on my shoulder when she breaks up with him."

"Don't you mean _if?_" John asked.

Rodney rolled his eyes and deadpanned, "Yes. If. Slip of the tongue." He watched Radek and Lindsey talking and laughing just as he and Jennifer did, finally seeing that they were very happy together.

**End**

**A/N:** "Happy Together" is a 1967 song from The Turtles' album of the same name. Released in February 1967, the song knocked The Beatles' "Penny Lane" out of the #1 slot for three weeks on the _Billboard_ Hot 100. It was written by Garry Bonner and Alan Gordon, former members of a band known as The Magicians. The song had been rejected a dozen times before The Turtles were offered it.


	32. Chain of Fools

**A/N: **One of my fav songs.

Word count: 449

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Chain of Fools**

Trudging through the forest chained between Ronon and John with Teyla on John's other side, Rodney kept his eyes on the ground so he wouldn't trip and wondered, not for the first time and probably not the last, how their team could have such bad luck offworld. "This is your fault…again."

Just managing not to growl, John purposely yanked on the chain connecting him to the physicist making him miss a step. "How d'you figure?"

"We have been _over_ this a thousand times. You flirt with the daughter of the town leader, he catches the two of you making out in the back yard and we all end up in jail. Just like always. Now we're a chain of fools on our way to be flogged, horsewhipped or maybe they've come up with some new and improved way of inflicting pain on innocent bystanders to one of your dalliances."

"I keep _telling_ _you_, Rodney, there was no kissing involved. None! I would never even ask her on a date because she fits the Daughter Rule."

"Yeah, yeah. Then why did you have your arms around her when 'daddy' came out to see what you were up to?"

"She tripped and I caught her. All we were doing was watching the horses run around in the paddock."

"Right. And I'm a monkey's uncle." Rodney didn't hide his disbelief.

John yanked on the chain again. "She was telling me about a boy in her class. Wanted some advice on how to get his attention."

"Fine. Let's say I believe you. What did you tell her?"

"Just be yourself." He seemed quite proud of himself for thinking of it.

"Huh! And that's worked out _so_ well for others...like me."

"You know what your problem is, Rodney? It's…"

"QUIET!" Both men were startled into silence by the exclamation from their captors, four men carrying weapons similar to rifles.

After about thirty seconds, in a softer voice, John said to Rodney, "What's up with _them?_"

"No idea. We were just having a friendly discussion."

"I _know_. Hey, you going to movie night? It's _Princess Bride_ again." To the guard nearest him, John said, "You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

After the code phrase, John, Teyla and Ronon became a flurry of activity and when it was over, their guards were unconscious on the ground. Ronon took the key from the leader and released them from their bonds. Shortly after that, they returned to their former place of imprisonment, retrieved their weapons and Rodney's equipment, and headed for the Stargate.

"When we get home, I'm taking this planet _out_ of the dialer," were Rodney's last words before crossing the event horizon.

**End**

**A/N:** "Chain of Fools" is a song written by Don Covay. Aretha Franklin first released the song as a single in 1967 and subsequently it appeared on many of her albums. It reached number one on the U.S. R&B chart, staying there for four weeks, and went to number two on the pop chart in January 1968.

In the 1996 movie _Michael_, Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools" is the juke box selection played as Michael (John Travolta) dances with - at the start - 2 waitresses and then - finally - most of the women in the restaurant/bar.


	33. My Heart Can't Tell You No Baptism

**A/N: **This is a sequel to "She Loves You." It's also a double song fic.

Word count: 836

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**My Heart Can't Tell You No**

**Baptism**

Ronon dragged Rodney from Jennifer's room so he wouldn't say anything more to embarrass himself. Eventually, the physicist got tired of having his arm yanked and dug his heels in jerking them to a stop.

"You can let _go_ now. I wasn't going to make a _scene_, you know. Just wanted Lorne to know the score."

"Yeah." The two friends stood there in silence until it was broken by a deep sigh from Rodney.

"I have to get back to work. I'll see you at the team breakfast meeting."

Ronon nodded but Rodney didn't see it. He'd already stepped into the transporter and was gone. Not one to feel sorry for himself, the Satedan did regret that his friend would now take refuge in his work, leaving very little time to brood about the loss of the woman he loved. It would also take him out of the mainstream of life in Atlantis; remove him from social interaction that could be a salve to his bruised emotions.

Ronon did care very much for Jennifer but wasn't _in_ love with her. Rodney, however, was and he'd needed an impetus, motivation to step up his game where she was concerned, and his own pursuit of her had worked, for a while. They'd even gone on a date to Earth though that had been a disaster and one of the things that had shown her she cared for Lorne more than she'd realized.

Heading for the gym, Ronon decided now was a really good time to take on a squad of Marines singlehanded.

~~O~~

Powering up his workstation, Rodney opened the file on the project the IOA had been hounding him about for weeks, determined to complete it by the end of the week. While he waited, he thought about the night and what Jennifer had said. She was in love with Lorne. And because Rodney loved her, he wouldn't stand in their way.

_Because my heart can't tell you no, I'll wish you and Lorne all the best. He'd better treat you right or…or what? What could __I__ do to him? Send Conan after him? From the look on Ronon's face I won't need to._

With a sigh, he got to work.

**A Few Months Later**

Charlie followed the directions given to her by Dr. Cole on how to reach the main science lab and had nearly made it when a man burst out of the room swearing in a language she didn't understand. From the few words she was able to catch, he appeared to be upset with her new boss.

"Excuse me. I'm Charlie Atherton. Dr. McKay is expectin' me."

Radek stared for too long to be considered polite. He pushed his glasses up on his nose as if that would change what he was seeing. "_You_ are Dr. Atherton?"

"Charlotte Atherton, yes. Call me Charlie. Everyone does, sugar."

The soft southern lilt in her voice placed her home far south of the Mason-Dixon Line, instantly charming the Czech. "And I am Dr. Zelenka. Radek."

"Pardon me for askin', Radek, but why are you starin' at me like that?"

A grin and a blush came over the physicist's face. "Forgive me, but you are _not_ what I expected and I suspect not what _Rodney_ will be expecting either. Please come with me." Gesturing her ahead of him, he stayed behind her until they reached Rodney. He was hunched over his work station tapping at the keys. "Rodney?"

"I thought we'd _finished_ this discussion when you stormed out in disgrace. What're you doing back so…" Rodney lifted his head and found himself looking into a pair of the greenest eyes he'd ever seen. The wavy hair surrounding a pretty face was short, barely reaching her shoulders and a color of red he'd never seen before. Darker than Cadman's and lighter than Teyla's. "I, uh…what can I do with…I mean _for_ you, uh…"

"Dr. Atherton, this is Dr. Rodney McKay." Radek didn't bother to hide his delight at Rodney's reaction to the newest member of their team.

Charlie smiled and extended her hand over the workstation as Rodney came to his feet, obviously taken with the woman in front of him. "_You're_ Charlie Atherton? Expert in theoretical physics, cosmology, statistical mechanics and thermodynamics?"

An easy chuckle came from deep in her chest. "I get that reaction a lot. So, which one of you handsome gentlemen will be showin' me around this place?"

"I will!" Both men spoke at the same time, glaring at each other.

Radek continued alone. "_He_ will. Welcome to Atlantis, Charlie."

"Thanks, Radek." Charlie turned to Rodney. "Shall we, Dr. McKay?"

"Sorry? Oh. The tour. Um, this way please."

She went ahead and waited for him to come alongside her. "I'm pleased as punch to be here. May I call you Rodney?"

"O-of course, Charlie." The smile she bestowed on him was genuine and unpretentious making him feel like he'd been baptized, in a way. _Down with the old man, up with the new, McKay! _He found himself smiling back.

**End**

**A/N:** "My Heart Can't Tell You No" is the title of a song written by Simon Climie and Dennis Morgan. It was first recorded and released by British pop-rock artist Rod Stewart on his 1988 album _Out of Order_.

"Baptism" is performed by Kenny Chesney and Randy Travis. It appears on the album _Everywhere We Go (1999)_ and on the album _Greatest Hits (2000)_. (Wasn't able to locate the creators.)Kenny Chesney:Baptism


	34. Ten Rounds

**A/N:** This is a sequel to one of dwparsnip's challenges, Billy Idol's "Dancing with Myself" and "Every Time We Touch," sequels to "Letting Her In." He said I didn't need to get permission and I'm taking him at his word.

Double song fic.

Coffee alert!

Word count: 1402

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Ten Rounds with ****Jose Cuervo**

**Thank You for Being a Friend**

Laura blinked in the bright sunshine filtering through the stained glass window in the corner, moaned and pulled the sheet up over her head to block the light. Her head pounded in time with her breathing as she tried to figure out how she got back to her room because the last thing she remembered was being at the party. _I feel like I've gone ten rounds with Jose Cuervo. Oh wait. I __did__! Grrr! That's the __last time__ I challenge McKay to Tequila Pong though we were pretty evenly matched until the seven-ten split. I wonder who won._

Deciding it was worth the risk of having her head fall off, she uncovered one eye to check the time closing it immediately. The clock said it was two twenty-seven in the afternoon, her soldier's brain, what was left of it, automatically supplying the military designation, 1427. That's when she realized that not only was she facing the wrong way to see her clock, but that just last week she'd rearranged her room so the sun _wouldn't_ hit her in the face because she had the graveyard shift for the next four weeks and yet, here it was, in her face. _And why are there photos of McKay on my walls?_

A groan to her right caused her eyes to widen until they hurt which wasn't much because even her hair hurt. She recognized that voice and it made _her_ groan. It had been a constant presence when they'd shared his body a few years ago.

Moving carefully, she looked over her shoulder and sure enough, McKay was stretched out beside her and they were on _his_ bed. _To quote Colonel Sheppard, "Oh, crap!"_

~~O~~

Rodney drifted slowly to wakefulness. Eventually he was able to open one eye and found himself on his stomach, his right arm hanging off the side of the bed and, if he didn't miss his guess, his feet were on the pillow with his head at the foot.

The bed shifted, not much but enough to tell him he wasn't alone. Dreading what he might see, he lifted his head, both hands pressing into the mattress just under his shoulders to help lift him up. What he saw made him fall off the bed, landing on his right hip. "Ow! Crap!"

He tried to use the edge of the bed to pull himself to a sitting position but the covers were snatched away causing him to slip to the side again. "The hell…?" Rolling onto his hands and knees, he managed to get first his right foot then his left under him. His stomach heaved as he stood turning standing into a bad idea. One hand over his mouth, he made it into the bathroom just in time.

By the time he stopped retching his stomach and throat hurt so bad he felt as if he'd swallowed an entire schoolyard of sand. Reaching for his toothbrush, he brushed, rinsed and felt just a little better. Until he remembered he had a visitor. He took a deep breath to steel his nerves and stepped out into the bedroom again. Sitting up in his bed, the covers pulled up to her chin, was Cadman. He supposed that now he should call her Laura being as they seem to have spent the night together.

Trying to be casual, Rodney touched his chest and backside in order to determine if he was dressed or…not. His breath rushed out in relief when he felt the shirt and pants he'd worn to the party still in place. Then a thought occurred to him. _What if I'm wearing them __again__?_

A smile tried to turn up the corners of his mouth at the picture she presented. Her green eyes still had a hint of sleep in them and all that strawberry blonde hair was tousled oh so attractively around her head. Seeing her in his bed wasn't nearly as dismaying as he first thought. The kiss they'd shared after their dance had made him feel alive for the first time since Jennifer had died. If they _had_ slept together, then it would only have been a logical next step. However, had he been in his right mind at the time, he'd have waited.

"Um…hey." _Oh, great morning after line, McKay!_

"Hey. Um…did we…" Laura wiggled her eyebrows significantly.

Shrugging, Rodney went to his desk and sat down. The chair squeaked as his weight settled into it. "One way to find out." He pointed to her clutching the covers in a death grip.

~~O~~

About to dismiss his suggestion out of hand just as she did most of what he said, Laura decided he was right. If they _had_ slept together, they had to deal with the situation _and_ the aftermath. Might as well start now.

Closing her eyes, she slowly pulled the covers away from her chest and glanced down. Her breath rushed out and she sagged in relief as she tossed the sheet and blanket aside to show that she was wearing pajamas. When she stood, the T-shirt reached her knees with the short sleeves almost touching her elbows. The pants were so long and baggy it could only mean one thing: they were Rodney's.

Turning in a frantic circle, she found her shoes but none of the clothes she'd been wearing the night before. Her fists digging into her slim hips, she demanded, "Where the _hell_ are my clothes?"

Rodney shrugged and yawned as he pushed out of his chair and went to the bathroom again. She heard him open a cabinet then the unmistakable sounds of water filling glasses. He ripped open a couple of packages, plop, plop, fizz, fizz and emerged carrying two glasses of bubbling headache and stomach relief. He handed her one then drank the other down in one long gulp. "They're not in the bathroom."

She sipped hers a little slower, swirling the last of the liquid to get the bits that had sunk to the bottom. Setting the glass on the bedside table, she rolled her head around and rubbed her shoulders moaning at the soreness.

"What's wrong?"

"I told you before, your mattress _sucks_. And now I know where my clothes are."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I'm still wearing them." She pulled the neck of the T-shirt aside and showed him the white spaghetti straps underneath. Not bothering to be subtle, she reached inside the baggy bottoms, smiling when she felt her panties still in place and no evidence of entry, authorized or not. Not that she though McKay capable of using excessive force to get a woman in bed. She snorted to herself. _Yeah, all it had taken last night was a kiss. And what a kiss! _

"And I remembered something. We played Tequila Pong, you insisted on walking me to my quarters but passed out just as we got out of the transporter. This was closer so I brought you here."

"Yeah. I came to long enough for you to give me something to sleep in and when you offered to sleep on the floor, I told you we could share without making a big deal about it. You slept on top of the covers because you're a gentleman." The hangover remedy worked well enough that she was able to chuckle without causing her head to split down the middle. At her assessment, he blushed lightly, looking down in that shy way of his that was so endearing.

When her shoulder muscles cramped again, Laura moaned. Suddenly, Rodney was beside her turning her to face away from him. She moaned again, this time in pleasure, when his thumbs hit just the right spots with just the right amount of pressure to dissolve the knots_._

"Wow, McKay. You're good at this." Laura could feel the shrug and the momentary pause in his treatment.

"I, uh, used to do this for Jennifer. She carried her tension in the same area."

Stepping free of his grip, their eyes met, showing her the renewed pain of his loss. "Much better now. Um, I'm gonna go. Thanks for the use of your bed and the massage."

"You're welcome."

Laura stuck her feet into her shoes and went to the door, her hand lifted to activate the sensor.

"Laura?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you…for being a friend."

The door opened, she tossed a smile over her shoulder as she stepped into the hall. "You're welcome, Rodney."

**End**

**A/N:** "Ten Rounds with José Cuervo" is a song recorded by American country music artist Tracy Byrd, 2002. It was written by Casey Beathard, Michael Patrick Heeney, and Marla Cannon-Goodman.

"Thank You for Being a Friend" is a song written by Andrew Gold, who recorded it for his third album, _All This and Heaven Too_ (1978.)


	35. Am I the Only One Delilah

**A/N:** This is my newest submission to the dwparsnip FF challenge to do a fic of 500 words or less about Rodney and another with a song title but no lyrics.

Double songfic.

Coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 792

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Am I the Only One?**

**Delilah**

"_Dr. McKay to Operations. Dr. McKay!_"

Rodney arrived in the tower a few minutes later, a scowl on his face and John on his six. He glared at his friend. "Unless you've changed your name, Chuck was calling _me_."

"Well, anything that gets _you _out of bed at this time of night is something I want in on."

Both men were in their pajamas, Rodney's hair looking eerily like John's, as if they'd been to the same barber but instead of scissors, a weed whacker had been used. Rodney muttered under his breath thinking about the first words they'd ever exchanged.

_Major, think about where we are in the solar system._

_Did I do that?_

"What you got, Chuck?" John decided to expedite getting Rodney back to his girlfriend.

"Oh, uh, Colonel, sir. We're receiving a transmission from a Wraith Hiveship. Their queen is demanding to speak to Dr. McKay."

John looked at Rodney. "You think it's _her?_"

"Maybe." Rodney turned to Chuck, sighing resignedly. "Put her through." The monitor lit up with the face of the queen for whom Rodney had repaired the iPod she'd no doubt taken from one of her meals. Her bright pink hair glared brightly against her pale skin. "This is McKay. What can I, uh, do for you?"

She held up the iPod. "I have listened to all of the music on this device and require new ones to replace them."

"Um…" Rodney exchanged a look with John who shrugged and nodded. "Okay. Send us your co-ordinates and we'll come to you."

The video cut off and Rodney took off, John behind him.

"I have _got_ to get some sleep or I'll start an intergalactic incident with her. And I have to download the entire music database to my tablet. Can go in the morning?"

"Sure. After breakfast."

"Right." Rodney went straight back to his room, powered up his tablet and began downloading the music. He left it and climbed back into bed.

Jennifer rolled over and cuddled into him, her voice thick with sleep. "Whass the 'mergency, honey?"

Rather than tell her the truth now and risk a long conversation, he lied. "False alarm. Go back to sleep." The last was unnecessary as she'd already done so. He followed her a short time later.

~~O~~

Team Sheppard was brought before the queen then the guards left them alone. Rodney pulled the computer off his back and powered it up, bringing up the music library. He held out his hand. The queen passed him the iPod and he quickly connected the two devices together. While the files were transferring, Rodney wandered back and forth rubbing his hands together impatiently.

John leaned close to Teyla and Ronon, his voice barely above a whisper. "Am _I_ the only one who thinks this is weird?"

Ronon naturally didn't respond.

"No, you are not. But if we can create an alliance with this ship and, by extension, the faction to which she belongs, then isn't it worth the time to create goodwill?"

Rodney made one last lap then stopped to check the computer. It was still downloading. This particular iPod could hold approximately forty thousand songs and he was filling it to the max. The queen had been unnervingly quiet and that made him nervous. "Look, are you gonna make a habit of this?"

"Habit?" Her eyes took on a dangerous glint. Well, more so than usual.

"I mean calling and expecting me to drop _everything_ to bring you new music."

She thought about that then smiled. It was never pleasant and now was no exception. "Ah, you wish something in return. What do you propose?"

"We, uh, haven't quite figured that out yet so we'll get back to you, okay?"

Again she smiled. "As long as you continue to assist me with music and your demands are not great, I accept."

He was on a roll so Rodney tried for the next item on his short list. "I think it would make our communication easier if you would call me Rodney and, if you don't mind, I could maybe call you…Delilah?"

She thought it over for about ten seconds. "I have heard that humans have given names to many Wraith. The name is acceptable. You will call me Delilah."

John gestured Rodney over. "I thought we'd agreed on Casey."

Rodney smirked. "We did. But then I found a song in the database that changed my mind."

"Tom Jones?"

"That would be everyone's first choice, but no. Believe it or not, _Queen_ also recorded a song by that same name. Ironic, isn't it?"

"That's not the word I would have used." One side of John's mouth lifted in a half-grin. "Just don't tell her Freddie Mercury wrote it about his _cat_."

**End**

**A/N:** "Am I the Only One" is the title of a song co-written and recorded by American country music singer Dierks Bentley.

"Delilah" was a song written by Les Reed, with lyrics by Barry Mason and Sylvan Whittingham and recorded by Tom Jones in 1968.

"Delilah" is a song Freddie Mercury wrote for his favorite housecat, a female tortoiseshell cat, named Delilah and was in the album _Innuendo_ (1991) at Mercury's insistence


	36. Is She Really Going Out With Him?

**A/N: **Yes, it's another Rodney/SO songfic to add to the challenge. I had to do _something_. Dwparsnip's catching up, and we can't have that, can we?

Word count: 471

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Is She Really Going Out With Him?**

Jennifer covered a yawn as she made her way through the food line taking items at random without worrying about carbs, sugar, portion sizes or the food pyramid. She was hungry, tired and needed a shower. But mostly she just wanted to spend time with Rodney.

She looked around and saw him coming into the Mess Hall tapping at his tablet and heading for the food line by instinct alone. _He works too hard. And we need a vacation. Someplace far from everything…but with a fiber optic hook-up._

Choosing a table away from the others and behind a potted plant so they could be somewhat alone, she waved to get his attention and waited breathlessly for the man she loved to join her. When he came close, a male voice intruded into her enjoyment of just being able to see Rodney after almost three days of barely saying hello or good-bye in passing due to their schedules.

"_Is she really going out with him?_"

A second voice answered the first. "_Yeah. Don't know why though. She can have any guy on the base and she chose the king of the geeks? What was she thinking?_"

The worst thing wasn't that the men were talking about _her_. She didn't care about that. But Rodney had come to a stunned stop in the middle of the room when he heard what the men were saying. If she had any doubts, the flush of embarrassment on his cheeks and his crestfallen expression told the story.

Head hung down, he turned to go, stopping only when Jennifer called out, "Rodney! Wait!"

She caught up to him, keeping him from leaving with a hand clutching his sleeve. Casting a glance over her shoulder to make sure the gossipers were watching, she slid her hands up his chest, took hold of the open edges of his jacket near the collar and jerked him against her, bringing his head down for a long, hot kiss.

His right hand slackened and the food tray it was holding fell to the floor with a crash making a huge mess. When it appeared the same thing would happen to his computer, a hand snatched it from the air before it could hit the floor. Now that he was unencumbered, his arms wrapped around Jennifer and held her tight, kissing her back with everything he had.

Eventually, they parted, she took him by the hand and led him to the table where two brawny Marines stared openmouthed at the couple.

"To answer your question, yes, I really am going out with him. And now, I'm going to go stay in with him." Jennifer pulled Rodney after her out the Mess Hall exit and didn't stop until they'd reached her room where she spent all night showing him how much she loved him.

**End**

**A/N:** "Is She Really Going Out with Him?" is the first single released by Joe Jackson in September 1978. He also wrote the lyrics and music.


	37. Go Away Little Girl

**A/N:**This is a sequel to one of dwparsnip's songfics, Within Temptation's "All I Need." Chapter four on his Rodney/SO FF Challenge list. He didn't say I could do it but didn't expressly forbid it either, so here it is.

Word count: 562 (oops!)

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Go Away Little Girl**

Curiosity. From the Latin _curiosus_ "careful, diligent, curious," akin to _cura_ "care," an emotion related to natural inquisitive behavior in human and many animal species. It is an emotion which represents a drive to know new things. Curiosity is the fuel of science and all other disciplines of human study.

For weeks now Jennifer had kept a tight rein on her insatiable curiosity, but now, with Rodney working around the clock to finish a project, she could barely sit still. The "fuel" filled her, overwhelming her restraint. Launching herself off the sofa in the room she shared with the man she loved, she headed for the transport.

The day she and Rodney had reconciled John had said something that, at the time, she'd relegated to the back of her mind for later examination. Now, with an unexpected night off, it jumped out demanding to be noticed. This demand drove her to the North Pier where Rodney apparently had a secret stashed that only John knew about. Or had pretended he knew about to trick his best friend into revealing the reason for their break-up. And it had worked with the unforeseen, by John and Rodney, side effect of Jennifer wanting, _needing_ to know what he kept there.

Pretending she was just out for a stroll, Jennifer walked past the corridor that led to her destination. Seeing that no one was around, she tiptoed quickly down the hall weaving around the ten thousand years' worth of trash, dead plants and furniture damaged beyond repair.

Nearly tripping over a sofa cushion, she found the door she wanted. It was the only one that didn't have a thick layer of dust and a film of dried seawater on it indicating recent and frequent use.

Passing her hand over the sensor, she growled when it stayed closed. She'd seen Rodney hack into someone's room before. How hard could it be? Running her fingers over the edges of the cover that protected the crystals, she dug her fingertips into the small groove. It moved just a little giving her hope.

A grin of triumph turned to dismay when she heard a very familiar voice call her name. She turned, pink coloring her cheeks at being caught with her hand almost literally in the metaphoric cookie jar. "Rodney. Honey. Um, I thought you were working late tonight."

The physicist didn't say anything, just watched her fidget. After about sixty seconds of torturing the woman he loved, Rodney finally relented. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, you see, I was…listening while you and John were talking, you know, that day, and he said something about…" she involuntarily glanced at the door. "I was just…curious."

"Well, you can just go away, little girl. Your curiosity will _not_ be satisfied tonight." He turned to go and in desperation she grabbed the sleeve of his jacket.

"But Rodney, we agreed that there'd be no secrets between us."

"So?"

"So…what's in the closet?" Jennifer waited impatiently but he seemed not to see her distress. Then she saw the resignation in his shoulder slump as he gave in, just as she knew he would.

"Fine." He took the cover off, rearranged the crystals and the door slid open, the lights coming on automatically. "Well, go on."

Jennifer took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold with Rodney behind her, the door closing them inside.

**End**

**A/N:** At this moment, dwparsnip is no doubt calling me all sorts of names as only a Canadian can because now he has to write the reveal of what Rodney keeps in the North Pier closet.

"Go Away Little Girl" is a popular song written by Gerry Goffin and Carole King. The song is notable for making the American Top 20 three times: for Steve Lawrence in 1962 (US #1), for The Happenings in 1966 (US #12), and for Donny Osmond in 1971 (US #1). It is also the first song, and one of only nine songs, to reach US #1 by two different artists.


	38. Christmas Time for Visa

**A/N:**As dwparsnip said, somehow he and I wound up in this together, completing this particular reader request in a tag-team effort. Hope everyone enjoys the solution we came up with.

To dwparsnip: Just remember, us Southern Belles learn to…speak colorfully at a young age while you no doubt attended the How-to-be-a-good Canadian University and Memorial Coffee Shoppe, which is right next door to the Sheppard School of Meddle-ology.

Word count: 626 (Yikes!)

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Christmas Time for Visa**

As the door moved, light filled the smaller area she and Rodney stood in. When the secret door disappeared into the wall, she stepped into the much larger room beyond. It was set up with a top-of-the-line recliner, a small refrigerator, and carpeting with a thick and luxurious pile that had to be four inches deep. Nothing hung on the walls but there were holes where power conduits were in the process of being repaired. No, not repaired. What did maintenance call it? MacGyvering. Yeah that was it.

"What _is_ all this?"

"It's…well, a place that I can go to be alone, away from it all." He held his breath waiting for her response, expecting her to think he was doing it to hide from her, which was as from the truth as Earth was from Pegasus.

In one corner, a twin bed was propped against the wall still covered in the plastic wrapping, a set of Egyptian cotton sheets next to it, still in the original packaging. A single pillow rested on a table, also still in the packaging.

"How long have you been working on it?"

"Over a year. A few months ago I had to start making changes." He took her by the hand. "Over there will be a Jacuzzi. It wasn't in the original plan. And on this wall will be a really big screen for watching videos. I just have to find an unused lab I can take it out of. And there'll be stuff on the walls, art, photos, stuff like that. A state-of-the-art music system. I need a new bed and all the stuff that goes with it."

"Rodney! How much is this going to cost you?"

The physicist inhaled and exhaled again. "Let's just say, when the bill gets paid, it's Christmas time for Visa."

Chuckling, she released his hand, turning a circle and seeing it all in her mind just as he described it. "Why's it taking so long, honey? What changed that you had to redo it?"

Rodney took both of Jennifer's smaller hands in his, turning her to face him, waiting for her eyes to meet his so she'd see the love he had for her. "I fell in love with _you_. But the most amazing thing was _you_ fell in love with _me_. And _that_ changed _everything_." Tears started to well up making her brown eyes glisten. "I'm, uh, waiting for all the new stuff to come in. In a few weeks it'll all be set up and we'll have our own little cabin in the woods. Sort of." He drew her into his arms, leaning down to kiss her, but she turned her head aside, removed his arms from her waist and went back to the door.

"How do you close this thing?"

"Oh, uh, over here. Why?" Rodney showed her the hidden control, the door sliding shut again. He turned around and she was gone. He found her laying the mattress on the floor and dragging it to the center of the room. "Jennifer?"

She spread a blanket she found in a corner over the mattress, kicked off her shoes and removed her jacket. "I think we should try it out now."

Jennifer's smile was naughtiness personified as she knelt on one side. Rodney removed his jacket and shoes then knelt across from her. They crawled toward each other, meeting in the middle, only their lips touching. At least at first. Before long, they were rolling around on the bed, their clothes flying every which way. Sometime later, they cuddled together, temporarily sated.

Rodney pulled Jennifer close, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. Her eyes closed dreamily at the gentleness in that touch. "I love you."

"And I love you, Rodney."

**Fini**

**A/N:** And so ends the mystery of what Rodney was hiding in the North Pier closet. Everyone happy?

"Xmas Time for Visa" is a song by The Austin Lounge Lizards. They are a band from Austin, Texas formed in 1980. The band includes founding members Hank Card, Tom Pittman, and Conrad Deisler, along with Darcie Deaville (2008) and Bruce Jones (2010). (The author took some liberties with how the title is spelled.)


	39. Am I the Only One Mandy

**A/N: **Double songfic. Broke the rules again by adding the lyrics. So sue me.

Word count: 682 (sans lyrics)

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Am I the Only One?**

**Mandy**

The bar was less than half full. Not bad for the middle of the week. The music, lights and sounds of conversation constantly changing in tempo and content. Off to one side sat a man dressed all in black, a bottle of beer in front of him and an annoyed expression on his handsome face. His finger and thumb carefully peeled the label until it was a ring resting on the table. Removing the bottle, he picked up the ring of paper and peered through the center, one eye closed as if he were a sniper lining up a shot.

"Colonel?"

John looked up at Chuck standing beside him. "Yes?"

"Something wrong, sir?"

"Not really. It just seems like…" he sighed, "Tell me, Sarge. Am_ I_ the only one who wants to have fun tonight?"

Chuck grinned, producing his Taylor acoustic guitar. "Of course not, sir." He gestured to a group setting up on the stage. "Join us?"

John gave the Gate Tech a glance that said he was thinking it over, but in reality he was thrilled to be asked. Dropping the foot resting on the other knee to the floor with a thump, he got to his feet. "Sure. Know any Johnny Cash?"

The grin Chuck already had got even wider. "You bet. But first, we have one just for you, sir. Join in when you catch the beat."

The Colonel returned the grin, "You got it."

~~O~~

"I just got off a double shift, Rodney. I thought we were gonna stay _in_." Jennifer whined like a two-year old as Rodney pulled her along behind him.

"Sorry, but if we don't go to the bar and have at least one beer with Sheppard I'll have to listen to him complain about spending the evening all alone now that he's the only one on the team not happily hooked up. It'll just be for thirty minutes, hour tops."

She stopped dragging her feet and came up alongside him. "Okay. But you owe me a bubble bath complete with chocolate covered strawberries and a semi-expensive bottle of champagne."

"Deal."

~~O~~

John sat on a tall stool, slipped the Taylor's strap over his head and settled it comfortably on his thigh while Chuck hooked up the Gibson Les Paul. The Gate Tech stepped up to the mic and, without introduction, began playing. The song wasn't familiar to John, but the sentiment was. By the time they got to the chorus he was in full swing.

The second verse began just as John spotted a very attractive woman with honey-blonde hair walking from one side of the bar to the other, the verse seeming to be about her.

_Well I was flyin' solo down at Silverado's, the joint lookin' like a morgue.  
>When this country cutie with a rock on roll booty came struttin' in through the door.<br>Yelled "Who wants to dance?" and fired up the band with a Franklin and a shot of Patron.  
>She looked right at me, said "What's gonna be? Are you gonna let me to party alone?"<em>

Her hair was down to the middle of her back and looked soft a mink. He continued to watch her trek across the room. She wore a spaghetti strapped top that let her midriff show and her firm backside was covered with white jeans that fit like a second skin. Her face stayed obscured though he hadn't been able to take his eyes off her as she joined a table of women he recognized as mostly scientists and medical personnel.

Chuck nudged him bringing his attention back to the song. He went back to playing but his eyes kept drifting over to the woman.

The song ended with a flourish and received a big round of applause, but Chuck didn't stop. He segued flawlessly into the next one.

The unknown woman's head snapped up sharply as the next song began revealing herself to be Amanda Cole. John was stunned. He'd never seen the assistant CMO in civvies or with her hair down before. On duty she always wore her uniform and her hair in a bun or clipped to the back of her head. Now she was laughing, her hair swinging around her pretty face and John realized he wanted to see her do that more often.

And Chuck just kept on singing as John set the Taylor aside and made his way to Amanda's side. She smiled up at him, nodding when he asked her to dance.

_Morning, just another day  
>Happy people pass my way<br>Looking in their eyes  
>I see a memory<br>I never realized  
>you made me so happy, oh Mandy.<em>

_Well you came and you gave without taking_  
><em>but I sent you away, oh Mandy<em>  
><em>well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking<em>  
><em>I need you today, oh Mandy…<em>

**End**

**A/N:** "Am I the Only One" is the title of a song recorded by American country music singer Dierks Bentley, co-written with Jim Beavers and Jon Randall. It is the sixteenth single release of his career.

"Mandy" is a song jointly written and composed by Scott English and Richard Kerr, and performed by Barry Manilow.


	40. Mighty Mouse

**A/N:** Okay folks. This is it. The big 4-0! WERD!

Many thanks to ladygris for her assistance. Appreciated, as always.

Word count: 407

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Mighty Mouse**

The wormhole whooshed out of the Stargate and moments later, Team Sheppard passed through to a verdant planet with a small human population. They hadn't gone far when Rodney began complaining.

"Why are we here? These people can't possibly have technology that could help us with the Wraith."

"We're here to make nice, McKay. They're having some problems and Woolsey offered to have you check it out."

"Huh." Rodney followed behind John as they tromped through the forest. "I don't do plows or yokes or whatever it is they use to drive their farm animals."

Teyla came up alongside the physicist. "The village has access to Ancient technology that is malfunctioning. It is similar to the shield that protects the children on M7G-677."

Huffing, Rodney quickly changed his mindset. "Well, why didn't you just _say_ so, Colonel Leaves-Out-All-The-Good-Stuff?"

Over his shoulder, John said, "Because I wanted you to come because you're part of the team. _Not_ because you'd get to play with a new toy."

"You don't know much do you? The _toys_ are the reason I came to Pegasus in the first place."

~~O~~

The village elders had awaiting the arrival of the team from Atlantis for over an hour and were getting impatient. The device that had malfunctioned was meant to keep them hidden from the Wraith and they were anxious to have it repaired.

Voices in the hall announced Team Sheppard's arrival, Rodney breezing into the room ahead of the others, singing, "Here I come to save the day…_again_."

John came in immediately after singing the rest of the Mighty Mouse theme with a slight alteration of the lyrics, "…it means that Mighty MOUTH is on his way."

"Oh, ha-ha." Rodney rolled his eyes, pulled his computer off his back and went to the main console in the center of the room.

Teyla stood next to John while Ronon lounged in a chair where he could watch the villagers and the door.

"A mouse with a cape?"

John shrugged self-consciously. "Um, well, he _did_ have a really cool theme song."

Now Rodney was under the console on his back poking around inside. "Sort of like Superman but, well, he's a mouse."

The conversation came to an abrupt halt when the village leader said, "What is a mouse?"

John was crouched next to Rodney. They exchanged an eye roll and heavy sigh that they'd now have to explain a mouse…and why he's wearing a cape.

**End**

**A/N:** Mighty Mouse is an animated superhero mouse character created by the Terrytoons studio for 20th Century Fox. Sorry. Couldn't find the creator of the theme song.


	41. With a Little Help From My Friends

**A/N:** I know it doesn't seem like it, but this is a sequel to chapter 35 "Am I the Only One/Delilah" which is a sequel to chapter 15 "Killer Queen." Oh, and it has several more to come.

Many thanks to ladygris and dwparsnip for their assistance with this chapter. You have NO idea what happened before this chapter could be completed. I have only two words: Coffee Alert!

Word Count: 795

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**With a Little Help From My Friends**

"You're _sure_ this is the right place?"

"For the fifth time, Rodney, _yes_. We are at the co-ordinates that Delilah requested we meet her." Trying stay calm for the sake of his friend, John crossed his arms, crossing one leg over the other.

"We've been here for over an hour. What's _taking_ so long?" Pushing out of the shotgun seat, Rodney got up to pace.

"We heard the _same_ recording at the _same_ time. You know as much about what's going on as _I_ do."

John was getting annoyed at his friend though he understood his nervousness. It had been the same for him when he'd married Nancy which naturally led to thoughts of his divorce. Mentally shaking his head to dispel the sadness, John instead went over his best man speech for the reception. He'd just gotten to "raise your glasses" when alarms filled the Jumper signaling the formation of a hyperspace window and a Hiveship skidded to a stop in front of them.

"It's her!" Rodney slid back into his seat. "Isn't it?"

"We're about to find out. And let _me_ do the talking."

"But…"

John ignored him bringing up the HUD, the face of a Wraith queen appearing before them. She was smiling and that always made his Spidey-sense tingle. "About time you showed up. We were starting to think you'd sent us on a snipe hunt."

Delilah's eyes showed her confusion with the unfamiliar term. "We do not have to explain ourselves to humans. However, I _will_ tell the tale to Rodney. _Not_ to one of his underlings."

Rodney grinned and stifled sounds of laughter came from Ronon and Teyla. "He's not exactly my underling, Delilah. What, uh, can we do for you?"

"It is what I and my Hive can do for you." She nodded to someone off screen. "I have heard that you and your…mate are to be joined in a ritual that is customary among humans called…a wedding ceremony."

"Uh…yeah. How did you…"

"And it is also customary for friends to give a gift for the occasion."

Ronon cocked his head to the side. "Sheppard. Someone's with her."

"Yeah, and if I didn't know better it sounds just like…"

"As my gift to you on the occasion of your joining, I give you…" Again she nodded off screen and a familiar face joined her. The features were as familiar to Rodney, John and Teyla as their own. Ronon recognized him as well, if the growls that came from his throat were any indication.

"Ford!" John and Rodney exclaimed together.

"Long time, no see, Colonel."

"No kidding. We thought you were killed when that Hiveship blew up. How…"

Former Marine Lieutenant Aiden Ford grinned. "With a little help from my friends." His sideways nod left no doubt that it had been Delilah and her crew that had been his rescuers.

And that wasn't all they noticed.

His left eye, no longer an empty black orb, had returned to something close to its normal color. Along his left cheek he still retained a small scar left over from the transformation he'd gone through when he'd become addicted to the Wraith enzyme.

Ford's grin faded. "I was found floating in space, unconscious, my Dart damaged, nearly out of air. They took me in and when the queen found out that I was from Atlantis and knew McKay, she ordered that I be jailed and fed but _not_ fed upon. After a couple of weeks of not having access to the enzyme, I was finally free of its influence, and well, here I am." Flexing his strong biceps, Ford turned side to side. "One hundred percent enzyme free, sir."

Tired of being ignored, Delilah pushed him to the side. "He will be transported aboard your vessel immediately."

The sound of the transport faded, Ronon and Teyla on their feet, weapons trained on their long lost colleague. Ford took a step back, hands raised in surrender. He opened the sides of his vest to show that he was unarmed, but John patted him down anyway, motioning him to sit before going back to the pilot's seat.

Rodney hadn't said a word. Just kept glancing from Ford to Delilah.

"Rodney," John whispered out the side of his mouth, "…thank her for the wedding gift before we get blown out of the sky."

"Oh. Sorry. Uh, thanks, Delilah. I'm sure Jennifer will be…thrilled." The last word was said with a sick smile.

Taking his words at face value, the pink-haired queen nodded and the screen went blank. Moments later, the Hiveship powered up and shot into hyperspace.

The five in the Jumper stared at the spot where the Hive had been then John summed up the entire situation in just three words.

"_That_ was different."

**TBC**

**A/N:** "With a Little Help from My Friends" (originally titled "A Little Help from My Friends") is a song written by Paul McCartney, with input from John Lennon, released on The Beatles album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band in 1967. The song was written for and sung by The Beatles' drummer Ringo Starr as the character "Billy Shears." It is ranked #304 on Rolling Stone's list of the 500 Greatest Songs of All Time. McCartney and Starr performed this song for the first time together at the David Lynch Foundation Benefit Concert in the Radio City Music Hall, New York on 4 April 2009.


	42. James Bond Theme

**A/N: **Ladygris is responsible for this particular segment of the challenge due to her creation of a certain Carson Beckett banner. If you want to see it, ask her.

No beta so all mistakes belong to moi.

Word count: 518

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**James Bond Theme**

_Agent Double Oh Beckett entered the room, __straightened his tie and smoothed the sides of his hair. With confident steps, he made his way through the crowd to an empty table, one of the tall ones with no chairs, and waited for his contacts to arrive_.

Carson chuckled to himself, hearing the James Bond Theme in his head. When he'd gotten dressed for tonight's function, he couldn't help but think how much he looked like the suave, sophisticated spy in his white tux jacket, black pants, bow tie and cummerbund. Movement in the corner of his eye told him the others had arrived.

"Whose idea _was_ this?" Rodney's acerbic tone cut through the music. One hand in his pocket, he tried to appear calm and self-assured when what he really wanted to do was take off his jacket, tie and cummerbund and crawl into a plate of real food instead of the miniscule party offerings they'd just eaten.

"Mine. Now get over it, McKay." John, completely at ease in his dress blues, responded, Evan and Ronon completing the circle. "Our dates will be here soon so try to look like you're having a good time."

"Fine. Can we order? I'm getting dehydrated."

John signaled for the server. He ordered several pitchers of beer and five glasses with the promise of more as soon as the ladies arrived.

~~O~~

Rodney sipped his beer, careful not to spill it on his rented tux. He turned to survey the room, taking in the dance floor, tables filled with people, smoke rising through the air, and the decorations on the walls. Rolling his eyes, he'd just started working on the calculations for one of his pet projects when he saw something that stopped every thought in its tracks.

Jennifer entered the room, the front of her gown lifted in one hand. Their eyes met and all his troubles melted away. She smiled over her shoulder as Alison, Teyla, Amelia and Amanda joined her. Leaning close to the others, she pointed to the men and they began winding their way between the tables in their direction.

Slapping John on the shoulder to get his attention, all Rodney could do was stare. John in turn slapped Carson and it traveled around the table until the men were all facing the same direction as the women joined them.

The group of ten stood together though divided into couples. Rodney and Jennifer, Amelia and Ronon, John and Amanda, Teyla and Evan, Carson and Alison.

Drinks were ordered for the ladies as well as a variety of snacks to supplement the food from the function they'd been forced to attend. Talk was lively, occasionally devolving into a minor disagreement, but never moving over into a full blown argument.

During a lull, Carson stood next to Rodney, watching together as Alison and Jennifer headed for the ladies room, a smile of contentment on his handsome face. "Ya know what I was just thinkin', Rodney?"

"Yeah." He sipped his beer, slipping a finger between his neck and collar before answering. "We are _way_ over dressed for a country western bar."

**End**

**A/N:** The "James Bond Theme" is the main signature theme of the James Bond films and is featured in every "official" (EON Productions) 007 film since _Dr. No_ in different versions. The piece has been used as an accompanying fanfare to the gun barrel sequence in almost every James Bond film.

**Authorship and origin**

Monty Norman has been credited with writing the "James Bond Theme," and has received royalties since 1962. For _Dr. No_, the tune was arranged by John Barry who would later go on to compose the soundtracks for eleven James Bond films. Courts have ruled twice that the theme was written by Monty Norman despite claims and testimony by Barry that he had actually written the theme. Norman has consequently won two libel actions against publishers for claiming that Barry wrote the theme, most recently against _The Sunday Times_ in 2001. It is generally acknowledged that Barry came up with the arrangement used in _Dr. No_.


	43. Could I Have This Dance?

Word Count: 1125 (Without lyrics)

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Could I Have This Dance**

"What does she want _this_ time?"

"Not a clue." To keep himself busy, Rodney tapped at his computer. A few minutes later he stopped, his eyes widening. "Maybe she found out I regifted Ford to _you_ and he was returned to Earth for court-martial."

"_That_ would be bad."

~~O~~

As on previous occasions, Team Sheppard was brought before Delilah. They found her examining a lock of her bright pink hair with a critical eye, rubbing it between her fingers.

"We're here. Why did you wake us up in the middle of the night?" John was anxious to get back to Atlantis because he had a date…with his pillow.

She tossed the hair over her shoulder, pining each of them with a glare, though from their experience, Wraith didn't have any other expressions aside from anger and pleasure. "The one called Ford told me of a gathering that follows the joining ceremony."

"Uh, yeah. It's a reception." Rodney rubbed his hands together nervously. "Basically it's just a fancy party to celebrate the joining."

Her haughtiness seemed to dim just a little, as if she were embarrassed. "As we have become friends due to the sharing of music, I would like to attend the reception for you and your mate."

~~O~~

Rodney and his teammates moved away from Delilah to speak privately. "_How_ do I tell her she's not invited?"

"You cannot, Rodney," Teyla told him firmly. "If you deny her request, she may decide to end this alliance."

"This _isn't_ an alliance." Ronon's right hand never left his blaster.

"That's only because we haven't figured out what _we_ want yet." John shifted his weight, fingering his P90. He thought better when his feet were moving but didn't dare pace. "The wedding and reception will be on Earth and the last thing we need is the Wraith showing up."

"True." Rodney sighed heavily. "There's something else too."

"What?"

His shoulders sagged, a sick expression in his blue eyes. "If she _did_ come, I know _Jeannie_ would understand."

"But…"

"But how would I explain it to Jennifer's _dad?_"

Teyla laid her hand on Rodney's arm, the gentle touch of a friend calming him. "There is but one solution. You must have a reception here in Pegasus."

John rubbed the back of his neck. "Woolsey would never approve it."

"How do you know? You have not asked."

"Because that's what_ I _would say." John huffed silently. "It can't be on Atlantis. For now, the Wraith don't know our exact location so…we have it on an unpopulated planet, invite Delilah. We'll have lots of security, party a little, drink a _lot,_ and everyone goes home happy."

~~O~~

"…and we'll contact you with the time and place." Rodney tried to smile, to look happy that a Wraith queen would be coming to his and Jennifer's reception. It wasn't easy though he must have done a good enough job because Delilah seemed satisfied.

"Agreed." Rising from her throne, she walked around the Atlanteans. As always, her eyes appeared to be sizing them up as candidates for her next meal. "Ford also spoke of a ritual that occurs at these functions. Dancing."

"Yeah. So?" Rodney didn't like where his thoughts were headed but once on that path, they kept going.

Returning to her chair, she rested her hands on the arms and assumed an attitude of attentiveness. "You will demonstrate."

"Uh…" The physicist looked to John and Ronon for help but both wore their patented smirks. Under his breath, he said, "c_rap!"_ Shrugging out of his backpack and removing his TAC vest, Rodney set the computer to play and handed it to John. "Teyla, do you know the Waltz?"

The Athosian had already removed her own TAC vest, handing it and her weapons to Ronon. "Lieutenant Cadman was kind enough teach me the basics of several dances, the Waltz among them."

They came together in the traditional dance pose, Rodney nodded to John. The music started and he began to lead Teyla around the floor, but he was nervous and kept tripping. "Sorry. I'm used to doing this with Jennifer." He tried again, stepping on Teyla's foot this time. She was uninjured as she was wearing boots.

"Okay. That's _it!_" John tapped Rodney on the shoulder. "Cutting in, McKay." He handed the computer back then shed his TAC vest and weapon. "Could I have this dance."

"Sorry, but you're not my type." Rodney deadpanned.

"The _song_, McKay."

"Oh, right."

~~O~~

Teyla stepped into John's embrace, confident that she knew the correct steps and could perform them adequately for the demonstration. However, the moment their hands clasped and he touched her shoulder, it felt different than any other time they'd touched, more intimate somehow. His breath stirred the hairs at her temple and brushed over her ear. With an effort she stopped herself from shivering at the amazing sensations it created within her.

She loved Kanaan, but not once had he made her feel as she did now. Perhaps he'd sensed it as well and that was why he'd returned to their people on New Athos several weeks ago. She grew weary of making excuses and the time would soon come when she would have to tell her friends of their parting. She would "come clean" as Major Lorne was fond of saying. Tonight she would tell her teammates and tomorrow the others. But for now, she would enjoy being held by the man who gave her…goose bumps.

~~O~~

As John guided Teyla around Delilah's throne room, he felt something change between them. They glided, turned and stepped as one, each knowing what the other would do before it was even thought of. Dipping and swaying, rising and falling in time to the music. Suddenly, they were no longer just friends and the words of the song took on a whole new meaning.

_I'll always remember that magic moment,_  
><em>When I held you close to me.<em>  
><em>'Cause when we moved together, I knew forever,<em>  
><em>You're all I'll ever need.<em>

_Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?_  
><em>Would you be my partner every night?<em>  
><em>When we're together, it feels so right.<em>  
><em>Could I have this dance for the rest of my life?<em>

By the end of second verse, he felt as if the lyrics had been created just for them.

When the song ended, John twirled her once more under his left arm and into his embrace again, bending her backward into a shallow dip, their lips almost touching. He held the pose a few seconds too long and heard Rodney clearing his throat.

Bringing Teyla upright, he immediately released her, and saw that she was just as flustered by the event as he was. They put some distance between them which helped, turning to face Delilah again. "Uh…that was a Waltz."

Delilah either ignored the undertones now present between John and Teyla or she didn't notice them. Getting to her feet, she came to stand in front of him, a smile on her face the likes of which none of the humans had ever seen before on a Wraith. "It seems quite…pleasurable. _You_ will teach me."

**TBC**

**A/N:** "Could I Have This Dance" is a 1980 single by Anne Murray. The song was written by Wayland Holyfield and Bob House.


	44. Kryptonite Superman

**A/N:**** Coffee Alert!**

Word count: 508 (AND it's a double song fic!)

Sandy

**Rodney and ****Significant Other Challenge**

**Kryptonite **

**Superman**

"You're late…again." John's accusation hit Rodney just as he sat down across from his friend.

"Yeah, well, I was…thinking." He kept his eyes on his plate.

"That's not exactly a news flash, Rodney. What about this time?"

"I…its…you see…after, uh, Katie I thought it best if worked out my vast number of issues before jumping into another relationship."

"Yeah. So?"

Stirring sugar into his iced tea, Rodney glanced at John then away. "So…uh…I was talking to Jennifer today and…"

"Whoa! Since _when_ do you call her by her first name?"

"That's just _it._ I don't know when it happened or why, but suddenly I feel…its…she's like-and I know this sounds idiotic coming from me-she's like my…"

"Kryptonite."

A long sigh came from his chest. "Yeah."

"Don't worry about it, Rodney. Everyone has a weakness. Keller just happens to be yours."

Rodney's interest was piqued. "And what's yours?"

"Well, _I_ just happen to be one of the few who _has_ no kryptoni…"

'Hi, guys. Mind if I join you?"

Both men looked up into the smiling face of Amanda Cole, John immediately coming to his feet as he wiped his mouth.

"Uh, no. Please." He pulled out the chair next to him and held it while she seated herself.

"Thank you, Colonel." Amanda unwrapped her silverware then draped a napkin over her lap. "So what're we talking about?"

Looking from one to the other, Rodney saw more than anyone would ever have given him credit for. Not wanting to be a third wheel, he stood, pushed his chair in and picked up his tray. "I was just leaving. But maybe you should have Superman here show you his Fortress of Solitude. Good night."

When he was gone, John felt Amanda's eyes on him and shot her a quick glance. Sure enough, she had that cheeky grin on her lips. He'd never been able to resist either one, the grin _or_ her lips. He waited for her to say something and eventually she did.

"Maybe we should tell him I've seen your…" her eyes dropped down to his lap then back up to his face though he was purposely avoiding looking at her, "…Fortress of Solitude on more than a few occasions."

John cleared his throat. "That is need-to-know information that McKay _doesn't_ need to know."

She shrugged. "If you say so." They ate in silence for a few minutes then she asked, "You comin' over tonight?"

"Of course. Why?"

Using the napkin to cover her mouth, she whispered, "Make sure you bring your cape…Superman." Diners in the vicinity all turned to stare when John kicked over the chair across from him. Amanda clamped her lips together to keep from laughing, turning away from him and flashing an innocent expression that was anything but.

"Fine. Though with me, you can be sure of one thing."

"Aside from the fact that you love me?"

He waited for her to look at him then let that side of his mouth lift in amusement. "At least _I'm_ not faster than a speeding bullet."

**End**

**A/N:** "Kryptonite" is a song by the American rock band 3 Doors Down. It was originally released as a demo for local play by 97.9 WCPR-FM in Biloxi, Mississippi. Later, it was recorded for their first major label album _The Better Life_. It was written by lead singer/songwriter Brad Arnold in math class.

"Superman (It's Not Easy)" is a contemporary rock song by Five for Fighting (stage name of American singer-songwriter John Ondrasik) from his second album _America Town_, released in 2000.


	45. Safety Dance What About Now

**A/N:** Read in this order: Chapter 15 "Killer Queen", Chapter 35 "Am I the Only One/Delilah", Chapter 41 "With a Little Help From My Friends", and Chapter 45 "Could I Have This Dance." More coming after this so stay tumed.

~Sandy

Word Count: 1021 (Double song fic)

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**The Safety Dance**

**What About Now?**

Inside John's head where they couldn't be heard, the words _oh, crap_ lit up in flashing neon letters. Rodney had stiffened as had Teyla and Ronon, the Satedan's blaster whining through the power-up.

"Um…when?"

Delilah went back to her throne. "This Hiveship must rendezvous with another within a day. We will meet at these co-ordinates again in two weeks' time when you will teach us this Waltz."

"Two weeks is…us?" John had started to relax but now misgivings were raised. _Big_ ones.

"Yes. Myself and…" her mind searched for the unfamiliar word, "…I do not remember the word. Someone who accompanies you to these events."

The four humans exchanged a look, Rodney, Teyla and Ronon shrugging. John took a shot. "Date?"

Delilah's face lit up with comprehension. "Yes. I and my _date_ will return in two weeks to learn dancing."

~~O~~

"Think she'll do it?"

"Don't know." John bit his lower lip in thought but no matter how his brain worded the request he was about to make, it sounded like an order and he wanted her to know that there would be no repercussions if she decided against it. "Since you're the one getting married, maybe _you_ should…"

With a grin, Rodney slapped John on the back. "I think this falls under the best man's purview, so let me know how you make out." And he was gone.

"Crap!" John made his way to the smaller of the workout rooms. Inside, Laura Cadman was teaching a dance class to a group made up of military, civilian and Athosians. She dismissed her students with a smile and a reminder that they would begin learning the tango in the next class.

"Something I can do for you, Colonel?"

He rubbed his head looking uncomfortable. "Uh, yeah. First, I want you to understand that this is in _no way_ to be considered an order." The Lieutenant sipped from her water bottle, waiting for her commanding officer to continue. "Rodney and I would consider it a really, _really_ big favor if you would teach a special dance class."

"When would I be teaching this class, sir?"

"Two weeks." John paced back and forth in front of the explosives expert rubbing his head. "The catch is _who_ you'll be teaching." He laid out the scenario and waited for her answer. When she didn't immediately respond, he made an arbitrary decision. "I'm willing to sweeten the deal."

"Oh?" John could see she was intrigued now. "How sweet, sir?"

~~O~~

Carrying a P90, her backpack of supplies, Laura followed Team Sheppard through the halls of the Hiveship. She'd never been inside one before and couldn't help staring.

They reached the throne room and were ushered inside by a dour male Wraith. Now that she was here her fear began to climb. _You survived sharing McKay's body, you can survive this. Plus there's the three weeks all expenses paid vacation on Maui for me and my sweetie._

Delilah glanced suspiciously at Laura. "Who is _this_? I did not give you leave to bring a stranger into my chambers."

John rushed to calm the excitable Wraith queen. "Relax. This is Lieutenant Cadman. She's gonna teach your date while _I_ teach _you_." He shared a glance with his companions. "But first, we need some reassurances."

The glimmer of friendliness in her yellow eyes vanished. "_What_ reassurances?"

"To do this, we're gonna have to…touch each other. We have to know that you're not gonna try to feed on us. That this is going to be a safety dance."

Delilah nodded. "Feeding is a voluntary action, controllable by our will. We agree _not_ to try to feed on either of you."

John exchanged glances with his companions, coming to Laura last. Reluctantly, she nodded.

~~O~~

Laura moved to a far corner to remove her backpack and TAC vest and change her shoes. Beside her, John was doing the same. Together they returned to Delilah still on her throne.

"Is your, uh, date here?"

Delilah lifted her head, a strange smile coming to her face that John didn't like at all. "He is."

From the doorway, a familiar voice called out, "We meet again, John Sheppard."

Picking his jaw up from the floor, John exclaimed, "Todd? You and…and…oh, crap."

"Delilah and I are honored to attend Dr. McKay's…" he searched for the word.

"Reception." Rodney spoke for the first time since they'd arrived. Not because he didn't have anything to say. More because this was one of the most preposterous situations he'd ever been in. That and he was still reeling from the argument he'd had with Jennifer when he told her. Not to mention _Woolsey's_ response. But some fast talking from John convinced their leader to agree.

Todd made a bow. "Thank you for the invitation, Dr. McKay."

"Well, uh, it's…" Rodney gulped, a sick feeling coming over him, "…Jennifer and I will be…happy to have you, uh, there."

"So you are to be mated to Dr. Keller."

"Yeah." Rodney crossed his arms in annoyance. "Got a _problem_ with that?"

"Not at all. You are well suited to one another."

"Oh, well, thanks."

At this point, John interrupted. "Can we get this show on the road soon? Stanford's playing Notre Dame and I don't wanna miss the kickoff."

Inclining her head, Delilah said, "What about now?"

~~O~~

After another demonstration for Todd's benefit, John and Laura took their respective students to opposite ends of the room to work. Teyla and Rodney kept watch over Delilah while Ronon's eyes never left Todd. For their part, the Wraith ignored them.

It turned out that Delilah and Todd were very quick studies, easily picking up the steps and having a astonishing sense of rhythm. When they finally danced together, it was as if they'd been doing it all of their lives.

Team Sheppard and Cadman packed up for the return to Atlantis with a promise to send the gate address of the planet on which they'd be having the reception.

John piloted the Jumper out of the hangar bay and headed for the Space Gate. "I know I've said this before but…"

Together, his companions said, "_That_ was different!"

**TBC**

**A/N:** "The Safety Dance" was a popular single by the 1980s Canadian New Wave band Men Without Hats; and to date, it remains their biggest hit. It appeared on the band's first full-length album, _Rhythm of Youth_ (1982). The song was written by Ivan Doroschuk after he had been kicked out of a club for pogoing.

"What About Now" is the title of a song recorded by American country music group Lonestar. It was released in April 2000 as the fourth single from their 1999 album, _Lonely Grill_, it spent four weeks at the top of the _Billboard_ Hot Country Singles & Tracks (now Hot Country Songs) chart. It was written by Ron Harbin, Aaron Barker, and Anthony L. Smith.


	46. El Choclo

**A/N:** This is the next chapter of the Killer Queen series. Sorry it took so long. I have been tormented with RL issues the last two months. Sigh! Oh, and it's waaaay over, word wise.

Word count: 1118

**Rodney****and****Significant****Other****Challenge**

**El Choclo**

It was early evening on M34-772. Stars glittered overhead and the moon shone brightly in the clear night sky. Tables, chairs, a dance floor, twinkle lights, music and the Atlantis staff dressed for the special occasion created a vision of merriment that at least one of them didn't feel.

Resisting the urge to slip a finger inside the collar of his dress shirt, or better yet, go to his room and take it off, John watched the rest of the attendees dance, eat, talk and laugh. To one side stood Delilah and Todd, their presence somehow not dimming the enjoyment of the party. Rodney and Jennifer had managed to find some equilibrium amidst what could have been chaos with two Wraith in attendance at their "reception." The couple slow danced together, completely wrapped up in each other.

The music changed as the DJ switched over to a tango. And not just any tango. This one was irreverent, poking fun at the dance with the lyrics. Annoyed, John thought _don__'__t__make__me__come__over__there!_

Crossing his arms, John kept his expression impassive as he watched a few brave couples try to work out the steps, most likely from watching television or movies. Without turning his head, he checked that security was in place and watchful, just as it should be.

The Wraith were standing alone just watching the festivities and shaking their heads at the strange customs of the Earth humans. Deciding to at least give the appearance of being okay with their presence, John dropped his hands to his sides, took a glass of champagne from the bartender, and joined them. Both were watching the group on the dance floor.

"Colonel Sheppard, this is not the style of dance we were taught." Delilah gave him an accusing glare. "What is it called?"

"Tango. It's a Latin American dance in double time, characterized by long gliding steps and…you have _no_ idea what I'm talking about." Huffing, John's eyes swept the room coming to a stop on Teyla. His gaze traveled from her upswept hair that hung around her face in straight lines, the front angling across her forehead, down to where her body was caressed by a light green silky dress of Earth design that fitted over her curves as if made just for her. The skirt flared out from the tops of her thighs so that it fluttered around her legs when she moved. One knee barely showed through the slit that started at her ankles and stopped just below her hip. The design was simple, unadorned except for a twist between her breasts, her beauty casting an aura of smoldering sexuality around her. She turned her back for a moment showing the straps criss-crossing and twisting from her shoulders to the inward sway of her lower back. Seeing her dressed like that, he had to remind himself to keep breathing.

"You will demonstrate." Delilah made the demand in the same tone she always used.

"Fine." Handing his glass to Todd, John removed his jacket and tie, unbuttoned the first two buttons of his shirt and rolled the sleeves to just below his elbows. Not regulation, but then this whole night had little to do with regs.

When Teyla caught him watching her, she gave him a cheeky grin, one perfectly shaped eyebrow lifted as if challenging him. With a nod of his head, he accepted the challenge. He crossed the dance floor, stopping first to have a few words with Chuck.

The next tango began just as John reached the middle of the dance floor. With an exaggerated side to side sway of her hips, Teyla stalked him around the floor like a jungle cat toying with its prey. She motioned him closer and he obliged stopping just out of her reach. Keeping eye contact, they made a full turn around each other. He extended his hand and she placed hers in it.

John spun her once then Teyla was in his arms at last, his right hand on her lower back as they bent one knee, the other leg out behind them, dropping down until they nearly touched the floor then slowly came to standing. Spinning her around, one foot on the floor while the other leg wrapped around his left thigh, she leaned into him, her right hand gently touching his cheek.

Another spin and Teyla faced away from him, his right hand not quite touching the underside of her breast, her hand on top of it as if to keep him there. Their left hands clasped together and they twisted side to side moving across the floor, stopping just as they reached the Wraith.

Todd and Delilah watched them, spellbound.

John and Teyla faced each other again, her left hand in his right, their bodies barely touching. He lowered her hand to his shoulder, pulled her close then, taking several steps forward, he spun her quickly out and back, her skirt swirling around her thighs.

Letting go, John turned away from her. Teyla wrapped both arms around him from behind, resting her cheek on his back and trapping his arms at his sides, her left leg hooking around his hip as his hand came down to touch the bare skin of her thigh where the slit of her skirt parted. Her hands released him and she took several steps backward as he turned and followed.

She stopped suddenly, dropping to one knee in front of him and looked up into his face. He bent his knee then his right hand went round her waist as hers came around his neck and they slowly stood again. His right hand took hers as he spun her out and back twice in quick succession. He pulled her very close, her hands on his chest, the pupils of her dark eyes dilating until they nearly obliterated the irises as his left hand blazed a trail down her arm and along her ribs to her waist.

He spun her out and back once more but this time she ended with her back pressed to his chest. She turned in his arms, her right leg coming up to curve around his hip once more. Her spiked heel slowly slid down the back of his thigh to the floor.

John danced her in a circle, turned her to the side and she dropped backward into his arms in a deep dip just as the music ended with a dramatic flourish. They stayed just like that, breathing hard, touching intimately all along the front of their bodies, their eyes locked as applause thundered around them.

Standing off to the side with Jennifer, Ronon and Radek, Rodney rolled his eyes. "Show off."

**TBC**

**A/N:** "El Choclo" (Spanish: meaning "The Ear of Corn" more accurately "The Corn Cob") is a popular song written by Ángel Villoldo, an Argentine musician. It is probably one of the most popular tangos in Argentina.

The piece was premiered in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 1903 – the date appears on a program of the venue – at the elegant restaurant "El Americano" on 966 Cangallo Street (today Teniente General Perón) by the orchestra led by Jose Luis Roncallo.


	47. The Sultans of Swing

**A/N:** FYI - ladygris Beta'd the previous chapter, "Claire" and I forgot to thank her. Thorry!

This chapter is un-Beta'd though. Any mistakes are mine and mine alone. I did, however, receive copious amounts of encouragement from dwparsnip to actually write it.

Word count: 382

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**The Sultans of Swing**

"Higher!"

At the command, Rodney lifted his hands and pushed forward, over and over. Beside him, John was going the same thing. Conversation was unnecessary as they performed their assigned task though Rodney did cast the occasional glare at his wife. He was ignored as Jennifer talked with Amanda, Teyla and Amelia.

Here the sun shone brightly and the grass was so green it seemed unreal. Birds flew overhead calling out to one another. In the distance, a mountain reached for the sky and at its base, a lake shimmered from the reflection of the sun.

Eventually they were joined by Evan. He worked for a moment at John's side then began performing the same odd pushing motion. The difference here was Evan seemed to be enjoying himself while John and Rodney just looked bored.

Evan engaged John in talk about work without missing a beat.

"How long do we have to do this?" Rodney whined. A deep voice behind him responded.

"Until they…" Ronon nodded at the women, "…tell us to stop." He set up his station and now all four men were performing the same action.

Evan grinned as Rodney wound himself up for a fresh wave of complaining. "Actually, doc, I'm having a _great_ time. We should enjoy this time now because there'll come a day when we won't be asked to do this anymore. And it kinda makes all the bad days at work worth the trouble."

John and Rodney shared a glance knowing Evan was right. Ronon, on the other hand, seemed to have no opinion though he did look as if he were having fun as well.

A few minutes later, footsteps whispered through the grass, coming to a stop behind the men.

"Oh look, ladies." Jennifer's voice was laced with sardonicism. "Isn't that the most _adorable_ thing you've ever seen?"

Amelia, Amanda and Teyla agreed with their friend. The sight of four men who prided themselves on their masculinity pushing their young children in swings was incredibly sweet.

"Yes. They seem to be well suited to this undertaking." Teyla drew John away from the swing where their daughter was now asleep and kissed him on the cheek.

With a grin, John turned to his friends. "How 'bout that guys? _We_ are the sultans of swing."

**Finito**

**A/****N:**"Sultans of Swing" was the first single release of the British rock band Dire Straits. First released in 1978, its 1979 re-release caused it to become a hit in both the UK and USA.


	48. Shall We Dance?

**A/N:** This is the next submission in the Killer Queen series. (Sorry it took so long. RL and holidays can sometimes get in the way of FF life.)

I'm issuing a coffee/food alert just in case.

Word count: 507

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Shall We Dance?**

John and Teyla left the floor and Rodney's attention was seized as Todd made his way to their side of the dance floor. Though they didn't move or give any indication that they'd even seen the Wraith move, he knew security was on their toes and keeping watch so he relaxed ever so slightly.

Bowing his head, Todd looked down at Rodney and Jennifer's clasped hands before speaking. "Dr. Keller, I understand that there is a tradition for this event."

Taken aback by the statement, Jennifer tried to smile. "Which one?" She was surrounded by soldiers and friends who would never allow Todd to attempt to feed on her so she didn't worry though she did feel Rodney stiffen next to her, the hold on her hand tightening.

Extending his hand, Todd indicated the dance floor. "Shall we dance?" Jennifer hesitated causing the Wraith to smile and for once it appeared…pleasant. "You have my promise that I will not attempt to feed on you."

"Um…" Before she could accept or decline, Rodney, Ronon, Evan, Radek, Carson and John began a chorus of protests. She thought it sweet of them, but she and Todd had come to a sort of understanding when she'd apologized for causing the deaths of his crew with the retrovirus. "It's okay, guys. I'll be fine."

Taking a deep breath, Jennifer hesitated only a moment before placing her hand in Todd's and allowing him to lead her to the middle of the nearly empty dance floor. The dress she wore had a full layered skirt that flared out from her small waist, fluttering around her knees. The bodice of the dress was enticing without revealing much of anything except for her arms and shoulders in the halter-style top. The color, a warm cream, made the dress seem like a less formal version of a wedding gown.

He brought her into the classic dance position seeming to count the beats in his head before beginning.

To Jennifer's surprise, Todd was an excellent dancer. He led her through the waltz with confidence and ease, as though it were something he'd done all his life. They didn't talk, just moved around the floor, coming back to their starting point just as the song ended. Todd twirled Jennifer one last time under his arm then back to face him.

While the other dancers clapped, Todd merely bowed to his partner and Jennifer gave him a smile of thanks before returning to Rodney's side, her friends gathering around the two of them.

"So, how did it go?"

Glancing over her shoulder, she watched Todd return to Delilah's side. "Fine. He's a good dancer for someone who just learned." Before anyone could respond, the music changed, again to a waltz as John requested so that the Wraith would be able to dance together at least once. However, they'd yet to do so. Jennifer saw security paying much closer attention to the Wraith and smiled.

"Hey, guys. Look!" They all turned around to face the dance floor again at John's exclamation.

**TBC**

**A/N:** "Shall We Dance?" is one of many songs from the 1956 musical film _The King and I_ by Richard Rogers and Oscar Hammerstein II. It was performed by Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner.


	49. The King of Anything

**A/N:** This one's a little poignant side and contains a spoiler for "Sunday."

Word count: 729

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**The King of Anything**

"…and furthermore, the _next_ time I tell you to _stay away_ from a specific area of the city, do _not_ take that to mean it should be the next stop on your tour. Do you have _any_ idea what sort of trouble you could have caused if we hadn't already destroyed that device?"

Though Rodney was red-faced and shouting at a group of junior team members, he was scared more than anything. As he had on many occasions since their arrival in Pegasus, he'd led a group on an expedition to one of the lowest levels of the city to catalogue an area that had previously been under water. It wasn't near the lab that had once contained the device that created the explosive tumors and had ultimately claimed the life of Carson Beckett and others, but several of the newest members of the team had taken it upon themselves to have a look around.

They hadn't gone into the lab in question, wouldn't have been able to if they'd wanted to. After they had somewhat recovered from the death of several of their own, he'd come up with an idea on how to deal with the situation.

When _Daedalus_ made her next stop, Rodney, Radek and Hermiod had conferred and for once all three were in agreement. Hermiod had altered the transporter sequence to hold a pattern in the buffer for a short period of time, long enough for _Daedalus_ to head for the double sun a few hundred light years away. Upon arrival, they transported the room into the suns then hightailed it back to Atlantis.

Thankfully, the lab had been located on the inner part of that level. The loss of it didn't cause any external structural difficulties though the maintenance crew did reinforce the area just in case. Yes, it was gone, and with it the danger of it again creating explosive tumors, but that didn't stop Rodney from being terrified that something even worse was just around the corner. He often had dreams of that day, seeing over and over the death of his best friend. The scientists hadn't activated any of the equipment they'd found, but the fact that they had gone anywhere in the vicinity had Rodney up in arms, pacing as he continued to yell.

"…And if _anything_ even _remotely_ like this happens again…"

"Rodney!"

"What?" The physicist turned to face John standing in the doorway, hands on his hips and an unpleasant glint in his eyes. Not the one he used when he was about to hit someone with a zinger, but the one that meant business.

"What the _hell_ is going on?"

Rodney huffed irritably. "What does it _look_ like I'm doing? I'm disciplining my staff."

~~O~~

Fully entering the room, John came to stand in front of Rodney. "Take it _down_ a few dozen decibels, why don't you? They took a wrong turn, made an honest mistake. Get over it and get on with your life, such as it is."

Instead of dispelling his fury as John had intended, Rodney turned on him. "Who _died_ and made _you_ the king of anything? This is _my_ territory so just _leave me alone!_"

And before John to summon up the words to respond to the mixture of anger and fear he'd seen in his friend's eyes, Rodney was gone, leaving everyone staring after him in bewilderment.

"Can we go now, Colonel Sheppard?" one of the scientists asked.

"Yeah. Just be careful where you go from now on. I'll get with Dr. McKay and we'll send out a map of the areas that are off limits." The room cleared quickly and John finally noticed Ronon leaning against the wall. He pushed off and came to his team leader's side. "I'm going after him."

John didn't get more than one step when he was brought up short by Ronon's hand on his arm. "Let him go. It's Beckett's birthday. First one since…"

"Oh, _crap!_ I forgot. Sonofa…" Pushing a hand through his hair, John paced a few steps in one direction then made the return trip. "I need to apologize."

Ronon shrugged his massive shoulders. "Let it go. He just has to work through it."

John nodded. "You're right. And so is he. I'm not the king of anything…" he paused for effect, some of his former humor returning, "…but I coulda been."

**End**

**A/N:** "The King of Anything" was written and performed by Sara Bareilles.


	50. The Leader of the Band

**A/N:** This is a continuation of dwparsnip's current story arc featuring Rodney and Delilah. It includes some of the song lyrics.

Word count with lyrics: 372

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**The Leader of the Band**

The last note of the song drifted into the air followed by applause as Chuck adjusted the guitar strap on his shoulder. Nodding to his band mates, he took a moment to gather his thoughts. Though Delilah was on Atlantis to visit her dying friend, Rodney McKay, General Sheppard had insisted that the planned celebration of the Festival of Selene continue. And though Rodney was asleep more often than awake, the party was being fed to the monitor above the foot of his bed just in case.

"This next song is dedicated to Dr. Rodney McKay…"

~~O~~

At the sound of his name, Rodney rallied enough to listen though his vision had dimmed in the last few hours and he could barely see.

"…_In the years that I've been in Atlantis, I have learned so much from him and want him to know that he will never be forgotten. As a sort of leader of the band, his guidance and direction, though punctuated by the occasional expletive and lots of yelling_," Chuck paused for the inevitable laughter, making Rodney smile for the first time in days, "_has made all of us in Science and Research better at our jobs for having known and worked with him. He truly __is__ one of the great treasures in this vast universe. We are proud and honored to know him._"

Delilah looked up at the monitor allowing her face to relax into a pleasant expression. She had seldom heard music played live instead of recorded, her eyes drifting shut as the song flowed over her and found the lyrics poignant and quite appropriate for the human who had become a friend.

_The leader of the band is tired  
>And his eyes are growing old<br>But his blood runs through my instrument  
>And his song is in my soul<br>My life has been a poor attempt  
>To imitate the man<br>I'm just a living legacy  
>To the leader of the band<em>

As the last note faded away, Delilah opened her eyes to see that Rodney had drifted off to sleep again. She took a deep breath, flexed her feeding hand, and turned back to face Jennifer standing on the opposite side of the hospital bed. "It is time…"

**TBC**

**A/N:** "Leader of the Band" is a song written by Dan Fogelberg from his 1981 album _The Innocent Age_. The song was written as a tribute to his father Lawrence Fogelberg, a musician and the leader of a band, who was still alive at the time the song was released.

The Festival of Selene is a holiday celebrated by the Athosians and is similar to Valentine's Day. On that day, you go to your family and closest friends to tell them how much you care about them as well as how enriched your life is with them in it. It's also a day for couples to reaffirm their love, marry or to express affection for someone who've loved or admired from afar. It was created by toosweet4u_57 for Chapter 20 of her "How Jennifer Made the First Move" series, _More Than Words_ and is used with permission.


	51. I've Had The Time of My Life

**A/N:** More Killer Queen adventures. Coffee alert!

Thanks to dwparsnip for one his help with this chapter.

Word count: 550

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**(I've Had) The Time of My Life**

John sensed more than saw the soldiers stationed around the clearing stiffen into alert poses when Todd slowly walked toward the band. Chuck however, didn't appear to find it at all odd to be speaking to a Wraith. As though Todd were just another friend of the bride and groom, Chuck listened to what he had to say then nodded. A quick conference with his band mates and they were ready to go.

Bit by bit, the humans moved out of the way as Todd and Delilah took center stage. Not that they meant to, but they were the only Wraith in the room and that alone made them stand out.

Delilah moved into position, standing in the middle of the floor as Todd came forward to take her in his arms, he leaned her back, swirling her slowly around left to right then upright again. She turned, both facing the same way, the song _and_ the dance were not what they'd been taught by John and Laura. Not even _close_.

~~O~~

Delilah's eyes locked with Todd's as her left arm came up and around his neck, his right hand on her hip. His left hand slowly slid down the outside of her left arm and across her waist, to take her other hand. He quickly whirled her out and back, the tempo of the song changing from adagio to allegro.

They spun, swirled, dipped, and when Todd lifted Delilah high into the air over his head, setting her gently on her feet again, the Atlanteans clapped and whistled. Moments later, the dance finished with a flourish to thundering applause from everyone. All but the group around Rodney and Jennifer, and the security detail. And _they_ all just stared in amazement.

Returning to their former places on the sidelines, Todd and Delilah seemed pleased with themselves, and well they should be. They had just perfectly reproduced one of the sexiest dance scenes in movie history.

John stood next to Rodney, arms crossed and chewing his lower lip in thought. The Colonel grabbed a glass of champagne from a passing server and downed the entire glass in one long swallow. "Wraith dirty dancing is just wrong on _so_ many levels."

"No _kidding_." Rodney too drank down the rest of his drink as Jennifer took his other hand.

"Well, _I _think it was a brilliant performance." Jennifer wisely did not mention John's tango with Teyla or the fact that his eyes kept seeking out the Athosian's as Teyla's did his.

Dropping his hands to his sides, John nodded and Evan, also in dress blues, came to his side. They had a short whispered conversation and Evan circled the area speaking to the security detail. To Rodney he said, "Time to wind this up."

Jennifer took the empty glass from Rodney's hand, setting it aside then led him over to thank the Wraith for coming. Security escorted the Wraith back to their Hiveship, the propulsion systems whining as it lifted off. Though it couldn't be seen, everyone knew it would enter hyperspace and continue on to its next destination.

~~O~~

Back on Atlantis, Woolsey looked down at the group as they return home. "How did it go?"

Together, Rodney, with sarcasm, and Jennifer, with a sincere smile, said, "I had the _time_ of my life!"

**End**

**A/N:** "(I've Had) The Time of My Life" is a song composed by Franke Previte, John DeNicola, and Donald Markowitz. It was recorded by Bill Medley and Jennifer Warnes, after having been selected to be the finale song for the 1987 film _Dirty Dancing_, by choreographer Kenny Ortega and his assistant Miranda Garrison (who also played Vivian in the film.) In the movie, the choreography was done by Jennifer Gray and the late Patrick Swayze.


	52. Jose Cuervo

**A/N: **Yet another songfic for the challenge and a sequel to "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo."

Word count: 325

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Jose Cuervo**

Not due on duty for another six hours, Laura headed for her quarters and a long hot bath before getting something to eat. The remedy Rodney had given her had worked wonders, making her feel almost normal as she turned the corner singing under her breath. "_Jose Cuervo, you are a friend of mine. I like to drink you with a little salt and lime. Did I kiss all the cowboys? Did I shoot out the lights? Did I dance on the bar? Did I start any fights?_"

"No, but you drew quite a crowd with your rendition of 'I'm A Little Teapot'."

Coming to a stumbling halt, Laura straightened into the expected military posture, making an about face where she was confronted by… "Colonel Sheppard, sir."

"Cadman." He waited but she didn't speak, couldn't because she had no idea what to say. Should she explain? Apologize? Beg forgiveness for whatever it was she didn't remember doing? "At ease, Lieutenant. I'm not here to reprimand you."

"Um, thank you, sir."

"I saw you with McKay last night." Again she waited for him to continue doing her best not to squirm under the unblinking stare that never left her face. "He was devastated when Jennifer died, so if you're just having fun at his expense…"

Uncharacteristically, Laura interrupted her CO, angry at the insinuation that she was only in this for her own amusement. Her chin came up defiantly, her tone bordering on insubordination. "That's _not_ what this is about! I care about Rodney, probably more than I should. And I intend to see to it that he'll never have to be alone ever again…sir."

Sheppard didn't move or speak, just kept watching her with those eyes. Finally, he nodded, dismissing her. She turned, slapped the biosensor and escaped into her room before she embarrassed herself further.

What she didn't see was the smile that came over her CO's face or hear his softly muttered, "Good."

**TBC**

**A/N:** "José Cuervo" is the title of a song written and recorded by Cindy Jordan in 1982. It was released as a single by American country artist Shelly West in February 1983 to more commercial success.

José Cuervo is a brand of tequila produced by Tequila Cuervo La Rojeña. The _José Cuervo Especial_ brand has the highest sales of any tequila brand in the world.


	53. Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

**A/N:** More of Rodney and Cadman. Coffee/food alert. It's also a tad over the limit. Too frellin' bad.

FYI - dwparsnip gave this chapter a thumbs-up. Merci, mon ami.

Word count: 887

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off**

The Mess Hall, usually bustling with activity, had gotten deathly quiet. Those near the epicenter glanced at one another then at Rodney looking angrier than any had ever seen as he rubbed the knuckles of his right hand. The man on the floor stayed there, his breath rasping in and out.

Without a word, the physicist shoved his way through the crowd, out onto the patio and didn't stop moving even after he was in his office where he continued to pace from one side of the room to the other.

Eventually, his rage subsided enough that he no longer wanted to hit a certain someone. Powering up his workstation, he went to work trying to forget about what had happened in the Mess Hall. He'd nearly succeeded when he heard a heavy footfall just before a body came between him and the light. It had been several hours the…incident, and he was surprised that it had taken this long. Knowing it would do no good to ignore the presence of John Sheppard, Rodney sat back, crossing his arms and waiting for the inevitable questions.

"Rodney, why did you hit Sergeant James?"

~~O~~

As soon as John entered Rodney's office, he saw his friend hunched over the computer in his "disturb me and die" pose. But this had to be done. He'd questioned most of the witnesses and no one would tell him why Rodney McKay, physicist and resident über-genius, had taken a swing at the young Marine.

"Rodney?"

His friend stood so abruptly that his chair overturned. "He said something I didn't like."

"What did he say?" That obstinate set came to his mouth annoying John. Not in the mood to pander to Rodney's sensitive ego, he crossed his arms. Two could play at the Stubborn Game. "What. Did. He. _Say?_"

Finally relenting, and in a mocking tone, the physicist said, "'So, McKay, is it true what they say about Cadman, that tequila makes her clothes fall off?'"

John's hazel eyes darkened to forest green as fury washed through him, his body going rigid in an effort to control anger that rivaled Rodney's. Without another word, the Colonel turned on his heel and strode from the room. Though motion activated doors were convenient, he wished just this once for a regular Earth-type door that he could slam. Ignoring the transporter, he headed for the stairs that would take him to Operations. "Sheppard to Staff Sergeant James. My office. Now!"

~~O~~

John stared at the top of his desk toying with his computer stylus, not saying a word. The relaxed posture and air of disinterest was a ploy, a tactic he'd used in the past to get at the truth without having to ask a lot of questions. The man twitched one shoulder, just a small barely there movement he wouldn't' have seen if he hadn't been looking for it, and John swooped in for the "kill."

"Is it true?"

"Sir?"

Again John waited, this time letting his eyes lock on James', the beginnings of a shiner darkening the area around his left eye. The other man looked away first, and the smell of victory made John want to grin though he kept his expression bland.

James raised his chin, his eyes now focusing on a spot over John's head. "Yes, sir."

Dropping both feet to the floor, John leaned his elbows on the desk. That he'd told the truth worked in James' favor, but only so far. "You not only disrespected a superior officer, but a woman. Such behavior will _not_ be tolerated as long as _I _am in command. Is that understood, Sergeant?" John didn't wait for a response. "Your offworld travel is suspended for ninety days, except for extreme emergencies, and you _will_ apologize to Dr. McKay and Lieutenant-soon to be _Captain_-Cadman." John clasped his hands together. "This incident won't be entered into your record. And it's up to McKay and Cadman to forgive, but do _not_ make the mistake of thinking that it will also be forgotten."

~~O~~

Again Rodney heard a footstep, but this time it was softer, lighter than John's. He looked into a pair of green eyes above an enigmatic smile as he came around the desk. An awkward silence began to fill the room as they just gazed at each other until she stuck a pin in it.

"Sergeant James told me what happened." Rodney couldn't help admiring how the dark colors of Laura's black uniform suited her fair complexion and light red hair, though the little white dress from the night before had also looked incredible on her. "You defended my honor, Rodney. Thank you."

A blush crept over his features. "It was, you know-I mean, anyone would have…" He stumbled to an uneasy end when she framed his face with her palms to press a soft kiss on his lips. Once again, he startled her by encircling her waist and bringing her close as her tongue gently probed at his mouth. Without a moment's hesitation, he let her in. Her sigh ended on a moan, a tiny sound that came from the back of her throat, urgent and beseeching. Unlike the night before, it was she who made the decision to withdraw. He touched his forehead to hers, their heart rates and ragged breaths slowly returning to normal. "_Damn_, Laura."

**Fini**

**A/N:** "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off" is the title of a song recorded by American country music artist Joe Nichols. It was released in August 2005 as the first single from Nichol's album of the same year, _III__,_ and was the second #1 hit of his career. It was co-written by Gary Hannan and John Wiggins.


	54. I Think We're Alone Now

**A/N:** This is another chapter in the Killer Queen story arc. Sorry I'm just now getting caught up.

Coffee/food alert! And it's over a little. So what?

Word count: 710

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**I Think We're Alone Now**

At Rodney and Jennifer's reception, John stood on one side of the hotel's ballroom and Teyla on the other. Since the night they'd danced the Tango at the fake reception, the two of them had avoided speaking unless they were on a mission. And he was tired of it. Trouble was, every time he'd tried to talk to her, something or someone had gotten in the way.

Now that Delilah had been given a name, it seems jealousy had spread among the other queens. With Delilah as the go-between, they'd been called on to provide names for five different queens in the last three months. Not that it was difficult to come up with names. It's just that she seemed to call at the most inopportune times. Like in the middle of the night. Though lately that hadn't been such a big deal as he'd been having trouble sleeping. And when he did, he had strange dreams of how his life should be.

Teyla's eyes met his and looked quickly away. Draining his own glass, he weaved between the few couples on the dance floor, took the glass from her hand, setting it on the table. Taking her hand, he led her through the halls of the hotel until they came to the coat room. Pausing at the entrance, he shook his head. "Too cliché. Come on."

~~O~~

Doing her best to keep up with John's much longer stride while wearing three-inch heels, Teyla asked, "John! _Where_ are we _going?_"

He skidded to a stop in front of a door that had been left ajar. Easing it open, he peeked inside. Looking around his shoulder she could see shelf after shelf of sheets, towels, tablecloths, and the like. Before she could ask again what was going on, he dragged her inside, shut the door and engaged the lock.

"John, _please_ tell me…" Teyla didn't get a chance to finish because he drew her into his arms and kissed her. She stopped struggling, her hands going to his shoulders then up into his hair. His hands skimmed up and down her back almost frantically, the feeling seeping into her and creating the same urgency. He spun her around, pressing her back to the wall, the cold cement making her shiver. No, it was John's lips kissing a trail down her neck and around to suck on the spot just below her ear.

She pushed him away, searching the shelves frantically. Her eyes caught sight of a large fluffy blanket. John, apparently thinking the same thing, reached around her, grabbed the blanket and spread it on the floor.

~~O~~

John quickly unbuttoned his jacket tossing it on the nearest shelf. Hearing voices in the hall, he picked up a broom wedging the ends into the wire shelving on either side of the door to prevent entry. When he was satisfied they wouldn't be disturbed, he returned to Teyla, his hands finding her small waist and pulling her close. She tilted her head back, a sensuous smile on her face. Just as their lips were about to touch, they heard a sound coming from the back of the storeroom. "Oh, _crap_. Can't even be alone in the damn linen closet."

He watched Teyla push the hair from her face though a few still stuck to the perspiration glistening on her forehead. "We should go, John."

"You're right." He removed the broom, unlocked the door and peeked out. Teyla pressed herself against him in order to see. Taking her hand again, John snagged the jacket of his dress blues before leading her out into the hall. "Come on. I've got an idea."

~~O~~

Rodney and Jennifer held their breath until the door closed again.

"I think we're alone now." Jennifer was lying on several blankets spread over the cold floor with Rodney on his side next to her. "Go back to what you were doing."

"My pleasure, _wife_."

Her mouth turned up in a sensuous smile. "Mine too, _husband_." He kissed her as his right hand skimmed over her curves and down to slip under the many layers of her white satin wedding gown and petticoat. Her hands clenched on his shoulders when he reached his destination. "Mmm. I love you, Rodney."

"And I love you, Jennifer."

**End**

**A/N:** "I Think We're Alone Now" is a song written by Ritchie Cordell. It was a 1967 hit for the American recording artists Tommy James & the Shondells.


	55. Bad Moon on the Rise

**A/N: **This songfic has nothing whatsoever to do with "Claire" or "Killer Queen." I'm just sayin'.

Word count: 523

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Bad Moon on the Rise**

"Teyla!" The Athosian turned to see her friend and teammate Rodney jogging in her direction. "Is something wrong, Rodney?"

"No. I, uh, not really." He shifted his feet, rubbing his hands together nervously. "You see, there this thing. The band is playing in the rec room tonight and I was hoping you'd be there. To lend moral support."

Her surprise was evident in her smile. "_You_ will be playing?"

"Yeah. I sorta had this bet with Sheppard. The loser would join the band the next time they put on a performance, and well, that's tonight." Hope shone in his blue eyes. "Please come. It would mean a lot to have my friends there."

Taking his hand, she gave it a squeeze. "Of course. I will bring Torren."

His relief was evident. "Thanks! It starts at 1900."

When Rodney had gone, Teyla chuckled to herself, looking forward to seeing Rodney, of all people, perform with a live band.

~~O~~

Pacing in the back of the rec room, Rodney rubbed his forehead. Perspiration beaded up on the exposed areas of his skin. "Oh, I'm gonna be sick."

"You'll do great, Rodney." Jennifer took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "You've been practicing for weeks and know the music by heart."

"The thing is I haven't played the piano in front of anyone but Jeannie since I was twelve."

"You played for me just last night."

"I know, but you're…you listen because, well, you love me."

With an indulgent smile, Jennifer took him in her arms. "That's not the reason and you know it. You play wonderfully."

"But I've never played this genre of music before. It's always been classical. Rock and roll was forbidden in the McKay home until Mom and Dad passed. Then it was too late."

"It's never too late, honey." She pressed a quick kiss to his lips. "Now get out there and knock 'em dead."

"Right! I'm a McKay. I-I can do this!"

~~O~~

When the first set was over, Rodney and Jennifer joined Teyla and Torren.

"So, what did you think? And be brutally honest."

Jiggling her son on her lap, Teyla thought about the best way to phrase her concern. "I confess that I still know very little about Earth styles of music. I do have one question about the last song that was played."

"Okay." Rodney took a sip of his iced tea and waited.

"Why would someone write a song giving direction to the facilities?" Her inquiry was met by laughter from Rodney and Jennifer. "I don't see what is so funny. The lyrics clearly say 'there's a bathroom on the right.'" That statement made them laugh even harder, annoying her.

Finally, Jennifer calmed down enough to speak. "What they're saying is 'there's a _bad moon_ on the _rise_.'"

"Ah." Handing Torren his cup, Teyla set him in the seat next to her. "That does make more sense."

"You're not the first to misunderstand the lyrics of that song and probably won't be the last."

Shaking her head, Teyla smiled. "Your planet has some of the oddest behaviors."

"Yes. We know. Get used it," Rodney stated deadpanned.

**End**

**A/N:** "Bad Moon Rising" is a song written by John Fogerty and performed by Creedence Clearwater Revival. It was April 1969.


	56. Mack the Knife

**A/N: **Spoiler for, well, nothing specific. Time frame is after "Runner."

Word count: 499 (I _rock!_)

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Mack the Knife**

Tromping through the woods with his team, Rodney questioned the intelligence of chasing after a man addicted to the Wraith enzyme. This was the third planet they'd searched looking for Ford and still no luck. After he'd thrown himself into the culling beam, Rodney had been certain they'd seen the last of him. Then the rumors had started.

He was seen on a dozen different planets, alone or in the company of others, also addicted to the enzyme, threatening the local populace, causing general havoc or even fighting off stray Wraith who'd happened upon the village.

And then there was Ronon. _Why_ John wanted him on their team, he had no idea. The man was rude, intolerant, uncouth, ill-mannered and overconfident. And his table manners were atrocious. _How can he not know what a fork is for?_

Lost in thought, Rodney tripped and fell. He lay there moaning until he was hauled to his feet by Ronon, but he'd had enough. "That's it! I'm going to sit here and _rest_. My _head_ hurts, my _feet_ hurt and now my _back_ hurts." Sitting on the ground with his back to a tree, he took out his canteen and a power bar.

John rolled his eyes, a gesture echoed by Teyla and Ronon. "Okay. Fifteen minutes then we need to get going. The village where Ford was spotted is another three klicks. I wanna get there before he gets away."

"This obsession with bringing him back can't be healthy. I mean, you can't make him come home if he doesn't want to."

"I need to _talk_ to him. Convince him we only have his best interests at heart."

"Yeah. Like that worked so well the _last time_. He almost _killed_ me."

Ronon turned to face Rodney, the thumb of his left hand hooked into the waistband of his pants. "He wouldn't've killed you."

"How do you know?"

"I just _know._" The Satedan stared at Rodney and he in turn ignored him until he spoke again. His voice was quiet and inflectionless. "Get up, McKay."

"What? _Why?_ We still have…eight minutes according to Sheppard's arbitrary timetable for…" Rodney ducked as a knife whooshed through the air to stick into the tree next to his head. "Sonofa_b****!_" Rolling away, the physicist got to his feet.

"What the hell happened?" John and Teyla had come running at Rodney's shouted oath, their weapons out scanning the area for threats they might have missed on their patrol of the perimeter.

"Mack the Knife here almost _killed_ me! Again!" With a snort, Ronon came forward to pull his knife from the tree. Stuck on the end of it was an insect approximately seven inches long that bore a slight resemblance to the iratus bug with shorter legs and no wings. It flailed its legs then was still. Scraping it off on the bark of the tree, Ronon returned the knife to its former hiding place. "Oh. Uh, thanks."

Ronon shrugged off the gratitude. "Can we _go_ now?"

**End**

**A/N: **"Mack the Knife" or "The Ballad of Mack the Knife", originally "_Die Moritat von Mackie Messer_", is a song composed by Kurt Weillwith lyrics by Bertolt Brecht for their music drama _Die Dreigroschenoper_, or, as it is known in English, _The Threepenny Opera_. It premiered in Berlin in 1928 at the _Theater__am Schiffbauerdamm_.


	57. Centerfold

**A/N: **Thanks to dwparsnip for the brainstorming on this chapter and ladygris for the Beta.

Word count: 594

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Centerfold**

"McKay."

"Hmm? Hey!" Rodney absentmindedly answered John, his attention on the object in front of him until it was snatched away. He reached for it again, missing when his friend held it out of his reach.

"What's this?"

"It's a Women of Atlantis calendar."

He watched John flip the pages. "That one of Keller looks great."

"Yeah." It was said without enthusiasm.

Slipping into the chair next to Rodney, John tossed the calendar on the table. "You don't seem very excited that your fiancée's in it."

"I am. Really. It's just that…"

"What?"

"Did you look at the _centerfold_?"

John flipped to the center and folded out the glossy page, turning it to the side so he could see it. His expression was a mix of surprise, awe and that indefinable emotion a man feels when seeing someone in a new light. The woman in the photo wore a sports bra and workout shorts that left her bare from middle of her ribs to just below her navel. Her skin glistened with perspiration, a few hairs stuck to her face and her eyes peered out at him, dark, but not with anger or passion. Her expression was insolent as if she was challenging him, or anyone else, to take her on. Smoldering sexuality oozed from the page. "Is that…"

"Um…Sergeant Mehra. I think."

John swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. "What's _wrong_ with it?" For an answer, Rodney turned to March. Jennifer looked out at them, her brown eyes wide, almost childlike in their innocence. But there it stopped. The Chief Medical Officer of Atlantis was pictured from the waist up wrapped in a snow white sheet held together between her breasts, her blond hair tousled around her shoulders as if she'd been caught just climbing out of bed. John shrugged. "Yeah. So?"

"So why didn't he have _Jennifer_ as the centerfold?"

"I think the bigger question is who took the photos?" John asked the question hoping to distract Rodney from brooding about Jennifer being chosen as Ms. March instead of the _coup de grâce_. It didn't work.

Waving a hand dismissively, the physicist closed the calendar not noticing when John pulled out the centerfold, rolled it into a tube and tucked it into the breast pocket of his uniform jacket. "It was Chuck. How he convinced them to pose, I have no idea."

"Chuck's not a perv. _That's_ how. Just forget about it, Rodney." Standing, John headed out of the Mess Hall. He'd gotten as far as the crew quarters atrium when something he saw stopped him in his tracks. Dusty was coming toward him wearing the same outfit as in the photo but without the sheen of perspiration. She acknowledged him with a nod, blew a bubble and kept on walking. When she reached the middle of the stairs leading up to the next level, he called out to her. "Hey, Sarge."

"Sir?" Dusty faced him waiting for him to continue.

No matter how hard he tried to banish the vision of her all covered in sweat and radiating sexuality, John couldn't. Reining in his suddenly overcharged libido, he thought better of what he'd been about to say to the Marine. "Have a good night."

"You too, Colonel."

She resumed her climb to the next floor with John watching her backside shift side to side under the material of her workout shorts. John headed in the opposite direction muttering under his breath about the many ways he might kill the person who invented the non-fraternization regs and make it look like an accident.

**End**

**A/N: "**Centerfold" is a single released by The J. Geils Band from their album _Freeze Frame_. The song is about a man who is shocked to discover that his high school crush appeared in a centerfold spread for a men's magazine. It was released in autumn 1981.


	58. She Think My Tractor's Sexy

**A/N: **This time kudos go out to dwparsnip for brainstorming this fic. Sometimes his chauvinism comes in handy. I'm just sayin'.

_Gracias,_

_~Arenoso_

Word count: 470

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**She Think My Tractor's Sexy**

The sun beat down on the fields of wheat while a John Deere idled at the start of the next row. Leaning on the side of the bright green and yellow tractor, Rodney chewed on a wheat stalk watching John wrestle fence posts from the bed of the battered and rusty pickup parked on the dirt road that ran between the fields. He shouldered two as he carried them over to where Evan and Ronon were hammering long boards between the posts John had already sunk.

"Get to work!"

The harshness of his friend's voice didn't even faze Rodney. He continued to chew on the stalk as he stared down the dirt road, one hand shoved into the pocket of his overalls. "I will."

Ronon stood up to his full formidable height. "_Now_, McKay!"

"Soon." He pushed off the side of the tractor when a cloud of dust came down the road in their direction suddenly very interested in what was happening. "_Very_ soon."

A brand new bright red pickup rattled to a stop at the gate. The dust was blown away by the breeze just as the driver's door opened and out stepped a slender blond in a calf-length pale yellow sundress dotted with small white and orange flowers. One spaghetti strap had fallen from her lightly tanned shoulder. When her brown eyes caught sight of Rodney, her smile blossomed.

She leaned back into the truck, Evan, John and Ronon watching spellbound at the sight of her firm backside sticking out as she worked inside the cab, emerging momentarily with a wicker picnic basket. She totally ignored the others, her eyes only for Rodney.

Evan pulled off his gloves as he came to John's side, Ronon following. "Who's _that?_"

"Jennifer. Woolsey's step-daughter from his second marriage."

Startled, Evan scoffed. "How does a guy like McKay get a girl…" he waved a hand indicating Jennifer's slender form, "…like her?"

Rodney came to stand between John and Evan, a smirk all over his face. "She thinks my tractor's _sexy_."

The passenger door of the truck slammed drawing the attention of all four of the men. The woman who walked toward them was shorter and just as beautiful, with auburn hair and dark skin. She too wore a sundress in sea foam green with large blue and white flowers. In her right hand swung an ice cold jug of sweet tea.

"Who…" John sputtered.

The smirk widened. "Teyla. Woolsey's step-daughter from his first marriage. _She_ thinks my tractor's sexy too."

Each woman tucked a dainty hand around one of Rodney's elbows as he led them over to the John Deere. He climbed up into the driver's seat then extended a hand to help the girls up behind him, started the engine and waved to John, Ronon and Evan as he drove away.

**End**

**A/N: **"She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy" is the title of a country music song written by Jim Collins and Paul Overstreet. It was recorded by Kenny Chesney for his 1999 album _Everywhere We Go_.


	59. You Give Love a Bad Name

**A/N: **Spoiler for "Trio." No Beta. All mistakes belong to moi.

Word count: 361

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**You Give Love a Bad Name**

Rodney made his way to his quarters thankful that his bandaged hands didn't hurt, though by morning he knew they and all the other aches and pains would make themselves more than just annoying. He envisioned himself rushing into the Infirmary and begging Jennifer to medicate him into unconsciousness.

That thought brought another to his mind. _When did I start thinking of her as Jennifer instead of Dr. Keller, the interloper who took over after Carson died? As a friend instead of just a doctor? Maybe more than a friend?_

Didn't matter. Not now. Not after she'd embarrassed him in front of Sam, though he'd never admit it. How was _he_ to know that what he'd said to Katie after the lockdown was a breakup? He'd never been the one to do the breaking up before so this was uncharted waters.

He still loved Katie, of that he was certain. Or did he? Maybe his mistook sexual attraction for love. Or maybe not. He and Katie had never been physically intimate beyond a few sweet kisses. They'd held hands in the movies, both letting go when the lights came up again as if they were ill at ease with even that small display of affection in public.

Holding his toothbrush carefully between the thumb and forefinger of his right hand, he brushed his teeth as best he could. Flossing would just have to wait until his hands healed.

After rinsing, he took a good look at himself in the mirror. To _his_ eyes, he looked haggard and drawn. It didn't help that he was more tired than he'd been in a long time. But it was all worth it to be able to say he'd saved Jennifer and Sam. To tell the truth, without them, he'd have given up long before their prison had fallen into the mining pit just after they'd escaped.

Groaning as he lay down on the bed he thought, _you give love a bad name, McKay. Better keep your distance from the fairer sex for a while or you'll end up hurting another innocent woman._

Just as he drifted off, Rodney sent a mental apology to Katie.

**End**

**A/N: **"You Give Love a Bad Name" was written by Jon Bon Jovi, Desmond Child, and Richie Sambora about a woman who has jilted her lover. It was released July 23, 1986.


	60. You Don't Have to Say You Love Me

**A/N: **This is way over the word count. Too bad. Ladygris did a quick Beta for me

Gracias,

~Sandy

Word count: 1258

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**You Don't Have to Say You Love Me**

"Will you just let me _go?_ Whatever you think it is I did, I didn't _do_ it." Rodney stood, arms outstretched and tied to a metal bar, a burly guard on either side. He'd been kidnapped, his weapons and equipment taken from him.

His captor was the village's leader, Lady Mellora, a beautiful woman with very long brown hair, sultry eyes and a curvy shape that would make women envious and men cry. The smile that turned up the corners of her lips was obviously meant to be seductive, but to Rodney it looked predatory, as if she were a lioness and he an injured wildebeest chained to a tree just waiting for her to pounce.

She glided over to run a finger down one cheek, under his chin and up into his hair. He tried to pull away but couldn't because one of her guards held his head still. "Exactly. What you didn't do was respond to my advances."

"Advances? What are you talking about?" Rodney stopped struggling as his mind went over the conversations between Mellora and himself over the last three days. His team had come to this planet at her request to look over Ancient tech that had recently been uncovered in ruins far from the village her people called home. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't catch on. I'm a scientist, _not _a social butterfly. All I want to do is go back to the ruins to finish my work then home with my friends." He yanked on the ties at his wrists.

Mellora abruptly returned to her throne, crossed one leg over the other, and smiled indulgently. "That is not possible. The three who came through the Ring of the Ancestors with you do not care for you the way I do."

"What? Of course they do. We're friends."

"They do _not._ I have heard the things they say to your face as well as when you are not around. They treat you with contempt and have a poor opinion of you. As my consort, you would be treated as you deserve. Your incredible mind will be respected and you will be loved as no other."

"But…"

"They do not love you!" Mellora pushed to her feet, glaring at Rodney. He tried to back up at the look in her eyes that was so much like Sheppard's when he was really, really angry.

"You hardly know me. How could you possibly…"

"Grrr!" Mellora threw her hands in the air and stalked to the middle of the room. A uniformed guard came to her side speaking softly. She nodded and the man hurried away.

"The others have arrived and are demanding your return."

Rodney sagged in relief. He _knew_ his friends would come for him. That no man left behind thing Sheppard talked about all the time. A few minutes later, his team was escorted into the throne room.

"What the hell took you so long? I've been tied up for hours. I'm hungry, thirsty, tired and my _back_ is killing me. Now make her let me go and let's get out of here."

With huff, Sheppard let annoyance drip from his tone. "Good to see you too, McKay." He turned to Mellora. "Untie him and we'll get him outta your hair."

Stiffening her back made her seem taller though she still only came up to Sheppard's shoulder. "He will remain here. You and your people do not want him and I do."

Teyla stepped forward, her glare matching Mellora's. "He _will_ be leaving with us."

Ronon came to stand at Sheppard's other side, his right hand close to the blaster on his hip.

"I am not in the habit of repeating myself. Rodney will remain here with me where he will be appreciated and loved."

"I do not understand. We are his friends."

"Really? Your words indicate otherwise."

Both hands casually cradling his P-90, Sheppard shrugged. "That's just how we are. We call each other names, make fun of each other. It's called friendly _banter._"

Lady Mellora strutted over to the throne and insinuated herself into the lavish cushions with a sneer. "I call it disrespect." The captain of the guards came to her when she nodded. "Take Rodney to the consort's chamber. Provide him with whatever food and drink he wants. Afterwards, I will join him for a rest."

"Excuse me? I don't _want_ to stay here."

"Of course you do. Once you have been here for a while, we will love each other."

Rodney, Teyla and Sheppard all began talking at once, Ronon and Mellora looking from face to face as if they thought the other three were crazy. Not able to take it any longer, Mellora got to her feet. "Enough!" When the room was quiet again, she resumed her seat. "It seems that we are at an impasse. I wish for Rodney to stay. You wish for him to go. I suggest a test."

Rodney didn't like the look on Mellora's face. It was calculating, as if she held the upper hand, was sure that she would triumph.

From his place, he could also see Sheppard was intrigued. "Go on."

"If each of your companions professes affection for you, then you may go and I will count myself lucky to have known you for so short a time."

The physicist could see his fate and didn't like the path he was headed down. Teyla could be counted on. Ronon too. Maybe. But Sheppard was so closed off from everyone who cared about him that he had no idea Amanda Cole was crazy about him. _I'm never going home. __I never got a chance to tell Jennifer…_

Without hesitating, Teyla proudly said, "Rodney has been my friend for many years. He delivered my son. I love him as I would a brother."

Ronon shifted his feet. "Me too."

_Way to go, Conan! I'm gonna be stuck here forever!_

All eyes turned to Sheppard, his unreadable expression turning awkward. "I…uh…"

"You _don't_ have to say you love me, Sheppard. Just that you like me enough to keep me around."

"Fine. I…like you." He faced Mellora awaiting her decision. "Well?"

The beautiful woman heaved a weary sigh, conceding defeat. She nodded to the guards and Rodney was released from his bonds. He rubbed his arms to get the circulation going again as she moved over to him. "Though Sheppard could not say the words, I can see in his eyes that he has a great affection for you as well as the others. You are free to go. Please continue your studies of the ruins. Any Ancient devices within their walls are yours to keep. I will trouble you no more."

Shoving his Glock into the holster, Rodney silently thanked Ronon for carrying his backpack and equipment. Teyla and Sheppard flanked him as they headed for the exit. At the door, Rodney stopped and turned. "Uh, Mellora. I wouldn't stop looking for love. I'm sure you'll find it one day."

She inclined her head in acceptance. "Thank you. May the Ancients watch over you and those you love."

By the time they reached the Stargate, Rodney had regained full mobility in his stiffened shoulders. The walk had been silent except for the sounds of the forest and he wondered what his friends were thinking. He dialed Atlantis, and just before they reached the event horizon, he spoke. "Thanks guys."

Sheppard adjusted his aviators and shrugged. "Don't mention it. Ever." Then he stepped into the wormhole followed by Rodney, Teyla and lastly, Ronon.

**End**

**A/N: **"You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" is the title of a 1966 hit recorded by British singer Dusty Springfield.


	61. Coconut

**A/N: **You might want to listen to the song before you read this one to get why it's funny. I'm just sayin'.

Word count: 670

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Coconut**

Evan's eyes scanned the rec room making sure everything was ready for his guests due to arrive soon. John would be marrying Amanda Cole in two days and he wanted his friend to leave his singlehood behind in style so he was hosting a bachelor party. He'd created a special drink just for tonight that he hoped would be well received. The usual beer and wine were available too just in case. The bar manager had provided him with a portable bar, cooler and all the supplies needed to keep them in booze and snacks for the entire night.

Against his better judgment, he'd also had his best friend from high school pick out a couple of adult movies. Not his usual method of operation, but he figured John Sheppard would like it. He'd been relieved that they'd arrived a few days ago, the covers showing enough female nakedness to make a sailor blush. He also pulled out copies of all the Spiderman and Batman movies. As the guest of honor, he'd let John make the choice.

The door chimed and soon the room was filled with men partying their brains out. The special drink he made was a big hit and to Evan's surprise, they group opted to watch the superhero movies.

The credits for _Spider-Man 3_ scrolled across the plasma screen as Evan fumbled for the remote and shut it off. "Thass (hic) all folks." He pushed to his feet, swaying until Ronon wrapped a huge hand around his upper arm to keep him from falling. "How's 'bout more drinks?"

Rodney roused himself from the love seat. He was on his stomach, right arm hanging off the side palm down in a plate of nachos. Sitting up, he looked at the cheese dripping from his fingers. Looking around, he didn't see a napkin or towel so he wiped it on the front of his shirt. "I'll take anudder one." Getting to his feet, he followed Evan to the bar.

John, sleeping with his legs splayed and snoring like a train, he nearly fell over when Radek and Carson tried to pick him up. "Wh-where we goin'?"

"Takin' ya t' bed, Colonel." The medical doctor stumbled, the three men almost falling.

John got himself upright, brushing away the hands trying to help him. "Not ready fer bed. Wan' anudder o' those coc'nut rum drinks."

Evan smiled. "Comin' right up, Johnny-boy." He took out a bottle each of coconut and lime flavored rum, pineapple juice and cherries. "Have a seat at th' bar, fellas 'n I'll show ya how t' make John Sheppard Special."

John drummed on the edge of the bar. "Drum roll!"

Rodney sat down next to John, leaning against the counter watching with bleary eyes as Evan took out a blender then enough glasses for each guest still conscious. "Show how (hic) d'ya make it?"

"I'm show glad ya ashked, Rodney. See, ya get a blender like this one. Put ice cubes in, add some pineapple juice," Evan slowly poured three cups of juice then set the bottle aside. "Now ya mix a gen'rus amount o' cocomut…" the men snickered, "…I mean coco_nut_ rum wid an equal 'mount o' th' lime flavoreded rum then…uh…oh, yeah, ya schtick th' lid on 'n FLIP THE SWITCH!" He shouted the last words as the blender roared through the process, the sound smoothing out when the ice cubes had all been pulverized. "'N there ya go."

Holding the pitcher in both hands, he poured uneven amounts of the beverage into each glass, set the leftovers aside then scooped up a handful of cherries. He dropped a couple in each glass then handed one to each of his friends. They drank down the drinks, slamming the glasses on the counter then wiping their mouths with their sleeves.

John rested his elbow on the bar. "Tell ush one more time how it's made."

"Shure! Ice 'n pineapple juice firsht. Next ya put da lime in da coconut 'n ya drink 'em all togedder."

**End**

**A/N: **"Coconut" is a song written and first recorded by Harry Nilsson. It was released in 1972.


	62. Black Velvet

**A/N: **So, I was brainstorming with dwparsnip the other day and challenged him to write a fic for this song. You might want to check out his version…after you've read mine, of course.

Namaste,

~Sandy

Word count: 1275

**Rodney and Significant Other Challenge**

**Black Velvet**

Floating. That's how Rodney's brain felt, as if it weren't a part of his body. His neck, back, shoulders, arms and legs hurt. And his head. Especially his head. He moaned and tried to rub the grit from his eyes so he could open them, but his arms wouldn't move. Tugging, he realized they were tied above him and he was blindfolded. "Sonofa…" his throat hurt making him cough.

"You poor darling." A woman's accented voice, deep and husky whispered in his ear. "Drink."

A cup touched his lips and he sipped. He coughed almost choking when he tasted wine instead of the water he'd assumed it would be. "What're trying to do, _kill_ me? Water!"

"You do not like the vinum?"

"No! I do _not_ like the…vinum! Water. I _need_ water!" A sound of frustration was followed by voices and people moving around. The next time she touched his shoulder and put the cup to his mouth, he sniffed it first then greedily drank now that he'd verified it wasn't vinum. Some of it spilled down the front of his shirt, but he didn't care. "Thank you. How long have I been here?"

"Less than a day. I am Sadira."

"Well, _Sadira_, I am Dr. Rodney McKay and I _want_ to know where my friends are!"

She came close again kneeling next to him, her hand brushing gently through his hair. "I am sorry, but you were alone when my guards found you on the shore of the lake."

"O-kay." He tried to pull away from her fingers now stroking his cheek, but could only move a few inches. "I'm assuming I was unconscious."

"Oh, yes. The guards tell me that you had fallen down the steep hillside in the dark."

"Dark! Yes, it was dark when we came through the Stargate." That little tidbit stirred his memory.

"Stargate?"

His legs ached as he stretched them out in front of him, the calf and thigh muscles protesting. "The, uh, Ring of the Ancestors?"

"Ah. The portal through which we travel to other worlds."

"Yeah, that. So, as I was saying, if I was injured why am I tied up?"

"Because you possessed weapons. I wanted to be certain of your intentions before releasing you." The rustling of clothing accompanied his hostess as she got to her feet. "Enough talk. You will be taken to a room where you can bathe and rest if you so desire. Food and drink will be brought to you. I will send several of the guards out to search for your friends. And when you are well enough, I will come and we will talk. Perhaps share stories of our worlds."

"As interesting as that sounds, I'm _not_ an anthropologist. I'm a physicist." She didn't say anything so he explained. "Technology. I work with technology. Machines and things."

"I understand. When you are well again, you will be taken to the ruins of the Ancients. Until then you will be cared for here."

Before Rodney could respond, he heard whispering and within moments he was released from his bonds and helped to his feet. The blindfold was taken away and two enormous guards half carried half dragged him from the room. He could see very little of his surrounding as they took him down the hall and into a room bigger than Jeannie's entire house.

He walked around the room to get the kinks out of his legs and back then began opening doors. A whiff of stale sweat wafted past his nose making him cringe. One of the doors was a closet filled with clothing he thought would fit. Taking what he needed, he went into the bathroom, filled the tub, stripped off his dirty, sweaty, torn uniform and sank gratefully into the hot water.

Rodney was startled awake by knocking on the door. "Just a minute!" He climbed out of the now cold water and dressed without drying off. When he opened the door, a servant girl was there with a tray of food. The scents made his stomach grumble. "Come in."

The girl nodded, stepping past him into the room. She took the dishes from the tray and arranged them on the table before hurrying away.

Too hungry to wonder if the food could be drugged or even poisoned, Rodney sat down and devoured every last bite, including the small carafe of vinum. He was so full, he went to the bed, kicked off the slippers he'd found in the closet and lay down, falling immediately asleep.

When he awakened, the moon had risen, casting its glow over the surrounding buildings and forest. A sound alerted his senses. "Who's there?"

A lamp flared to life and standing at the foot of the bed was Sadira dressed head to foot in a black velvet jumpsuit that reminded him of the leather catsuit Halle Berry wore in _Catwoman_. The suit clung to her figure from shoulders to ankles leaving her arms bare except for the velvet gloves that reached midway on her forearms. The wavy hair that brushed her shoulders was black as well. But the thing that startled him the most was the object in her right hand. The whip made her look like a velvet-clad dominatrix.

"Uh, Sadira. Wh-what can I do with…uh, I mean _for_ you?"

"You were right the first time, Rodney. _With_. We will do many things together tonight. And when we've rested from our exertions, we will do them all again." She cracked the whip making him jump, her walk catlike and sensuous.

He wanted to put his hands out to keep her at bay, but somehow his wrists had been tied to the headboard and that's when it hit him. "Oh, I get it. This is all a _dream_. Well, Sadira, I am yours to command. Do with me what you will."

"Oh, I intend to. And to make things much more interesting, I've invited someone to join us."

Rodney's grin widened. "Oh, boy. A threesome! Bring her in." The grin turned to one of shock and disbelief with a little bit of panic when he recognized the new voice.

"She's not a _she_, Rodney." A figure stepped out of the shadows and into the light, showing the face of John Sheppard still in his black uniform.

"Oh, crap! This isn't a dream, it's a _nightmare!_"

"Don't be such a stick-in-the-mud, Rodney. This is gonna be fun!"

And in the blink of an eye, John was beside him on the bed, now dressed in the same medieval style clothing the physicist wore. John was also tied to the bed with a space between them just wide enough for Sadira to fit if they were lying side by side.

"Oh, this can_not_ be happening!" Rodney felt the foot of the bed move as Sadira crawled on her hands and knees until she was between the men.

"Rodney…Rodney…Rooooodney…" Sadira's voice faded out then grew louder again, but now it had changed. And he was shaking. No, there was a hand on his shoulder shaking him.

"Rodney? Rodney!"

Coming awake suddenly, Rodney almost fell off the bed. "Wh-what the…Jennifer?"

"You okay, honey?" Jennifer's eyes were filled with concern.

"Yeah. I, uh, was having a weird and incredibly _bizarre_ dream."

She laid her arm across his chest and snuggled close, her head on his shoulder. "Poor baby. Wanna talk about it?"

Panic shimmed through Rodney. "No! No. No. It's fine."

"Well, no more buffalo hot wings just before bed for you, young man."

With a sigh of relief, Rodney covered his wife's hand with his and in a few moments, they were both asleep again.

**End**

**A/N: **"Black Velvet" is a rock song by Canadian musicians David Tyson and Christopher Ward, and recorded by Canadian singer Alannah Myles in 1988.


End file.
